Case #74: The Commonwealth Tribunal vs. Captain Tosh Lodi

[Alfred]

@ToshLodi

Captain Tosh "Vegemite" Lodi, commanding officer of 4th Company, Drop Bear Detachment, 2nd Bush Brigade. 

You stand accused of spreading misinformation regarding the win/loss record of certain creation builds, purposefully misinterpreting those builds to fit your narrative, perverting the course of tournament enjoyment and knowingly attempting to coerce people into your own companies unpopular pyramid scheme format. 

You also face a separate but equally serious charge of Gross Negligence in Tactical Coordination in which your instructions turned a clear Genghis Khan level advantage into a total tactical implosion that analysts are now calling "the Koala fumble" 

How do you plead? 

[ToshLodi]

I will enter no plea at this stage your honor, until I have seen the evidence against me, as is my right to do so

[Alfred]

4 hours ago, ToshLodi said:

I will enter no plea at this stage your honor, until I have seen the evidence against me, as is my right to do so

As I thought you might. Very well. Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, we shall proceed to the evidence against Captain Lodi. 

I will refer everyone to this post initially -----> Gangs of Tycoon

Here we can see Captain Lodi attempting to entice the good managers of MMAT into what at first glance seems to be a very fun and established format of GONY. He even offers to provide VIP prizes from his own pocket in order to further obfuscate his real intentions. It is only by reading the small print so it were that we find all manner of falsehoods, misinformation and gaslighting. So much so that expert witness Optimal could no longer stand idly by and attempted to put these errors straight. 

If there was any doubt that Captain Lodi was acting in bad faith it was no longer so after his rebuttals to Optimals concise and factual arguments were met with more lies, manipulation and outright shenanigans. It was at this point that Alfred Winterbottom was forced into action. 

Spending several minutes of his most valuable time, Mr. Winterbottom began to dig through the examples that Captain Lodi had given to support his earlier arguments. What was found was, though not surprising, most egregiously inventive - a brazen tapestry of cherry picked scenarios, half truths and outright hallucinations. His examples hadn't merely been stretched, they'd been pulled so thin they could serve as tracing paper for more of his fiction. In short, it was the sort of story telling that only a day drunk, sun addled Aussie holding court round the pub table could spew with a straight face. 

I will now refer everyone to my findings. 

According to Captain Lodi, Clinch Fighters and Ground Fighters are overpowered and always win tournaments both with 18 and 25 year old creation ages. Without even touching upon his distorted view of what makes up these builds, I decided to look through the examples of the tournaments he had stated proved his findings. 

Without wanting to waste too much of the good peoples time nor my own, I will present the results of the very first event that was looked at. A small snippet of data no doubt but one that the prosecution are confident represents what is already known in the great game of MMAT. 

KHFC Round 1 Group B

Trip Scully (Clincher?) def. Willy Wobbit (Wrestling w/ BJJ Blue Belt) via blasting him in the face and not touching the clinch. 
Kaya Kainga (110 Boxing) def. Steve Hunt (Clincher?) via blasting him in the face and not touching the clinch
Gabriel Pasquier (70/70 Boxing/Wrestling) def. Rodney Farva (Wrestling w/ BJJ Blue Belt) via blasting him in the face and not touching the clinch despite spending most of the time being GnP'd by the GROUND FIGHTER
Bud Lawrance (110 Wrestling) def. Back Up (110 MT) via blasting him in the face and barely touching the clinch
Terry Bollea (110 Wrestling) def. Carlos Dominguez (80/80 MT/Wrestling) via ze dirty submission
Niklos Hammer (110 Boxing) def. Das Booten (MT/Wrestling) via tickles and grazes. Boo these two fighters. Zero clinch and zero ground though
Karol Soszkowski (110 Wrestling) def. Munchausen Proxy (110 Wrestling) via ze dirty clinch rape
Leland Thibodeaux (110 MT) def. Ryan Garner (Wrestling/Blue Belt) via mainly blasting him in the face and barely touching the clinch

So as you can see, the very first event that was glanced upon gave no suggestion of what Captain Lodi is claiming. One fight out of eight resulting in actual dirty clinch raping. One fight out of eight with a submission and even then not from a fighter built in the traditional submission fighter way. The rest of the results.....out and out fisticuffs on the feet at distance with barely a successful clinch attempted. 

Damning evidence indeed and some that surely doesn't require more. Of course if Captain Lodi continues in his stubborn ways I will be forced to call more expert witnesses and present more evidence against him. 

@ToshLodi, the floor is yours. Please, I implore you, do the right thing, renounce your ways, stop your campaign of misinformation and put on a GONY tournament that the people can enjoy. 

 

[ToshLodi]

I am awaiting further advice from my legal council regarding the second charge - Gross Negligence in Tactical Coordination - Although it is quite vague in description and open to interpretation, to me it sounds like i am being accused of 'giving away' a secret and very effective strategy. Which, to my understanding, would contradict the first charge of spreading misinformation?

If i have indeed interpreted this correctly, I will be unable to defend the allegations for Charges 1, as it would require me to reveal and explain in greater detail of how and why such tactics are being employed and why they are so effective. Doing so would further incriminate me in charge no.2 - Giving away powerful/effective and secret strategies.

I would, however, like the record to state that in my defence of charge no.2 - I was unaware such BASIC and commonsense tactics were deemed to be a surprise to some.

If I am guilty of anything here, your honor, it would be my vastly overestimation of the intellect of the wider MMA Tycoon community - I shall endeavour to never make the same mistake in the future.

I now call for this farce of a case to be thrown out.

 

[Alfred]

Here, ladies and gentlemen, perfectly presented by his own hand, is a glorious example of the sort of gaslighting, strawmanning and mental gymnastics that Captain Lodi is fast becoming know for. 

He firstly claims that "Gross Negligence in Tactical Coordination" is quite vague in description and open to interpretation and that he believes that it amounts to "giving away a secret and very effective strategy". 

Forgive me but...does it really? Does gross negligence in tactical coordination really sound like it has anything to do with giving away secrets? Quite simply to me, it sounds like what it says on the tin; within the context of tactical coordination, an error so catastrophic was committed as to be deemed grossly negligent. 

But regardless, for the benefit of Captain Lodi, we shall make clear the very nature of this second charge as well as affirm that it will be addressed separately following the conclusion of the first and depending on its outcome. 
 
Captain Lodi, you are accused of disregarding the sound initial advice of field commander Winterbottom despite many agreeing that it was the correct course of action – namely, to press the clear advantage gained during the first round of the TUF tournament by using his human blanket against their most dangerous fighter and taking him out of commission. Instead, you conspired to stick your big vegemite covered fingers into the pie of harmonious coordination and insisted, with the stubbornness of a disgruntled gassy wombat, on pursuing your own, self serving strategy – which directly caused Team Ramirez unspeakable losses, including, but not limited to, the elimination of both Field Commander Winterbottom and High Chief Thibodeaux 

You may ruminate on this whilst we resume our examination of Charge 1. 

[ToshLodi]

My defence team and I call for Mr. Frosty bum to be removed from the prosecution effective immediately. It is clear Alfredo’s judgement is clouded by his severe under performing in the KOHT, which he somehow is attributing and deflecting blame towards myself. 

The defendant is not liable for the poor decision by Alfie boy to use a ‘human blanket’ strategy with his fighter. This certainly isn’t a strategy I, nor anyone with a remotely sane mind, would ever employ.

The situation is a clear conflict of interest and we call for this whole fiasco of a case to be thrown out and demand an official apology from Mr. Alfredo Winter(cold like his soul)bottom.

I would also recommend the community considers evaluating Mr. “Human Blanket’s” psychological well being - something isn’t right with this fellow - and it is our duty to help.