[EMPIRE MMA]

Just going to paste my recap for Empire:1 here. Hope you guys like it!

 

 

Tonight was the second ever Empire MMA event, which was named Empire:1 most likely because organization owner Psycho Serrano cannot count to one. This event lived up to its name: a night full of youthful energy, utter confusion, and crushing disappointment. In other words: my high school prom.

 

The first fight of the night was between Jerome Biggs, managed by the mathematically-challenged Psycho Serrano, and Karl Van Horn, managed by Don Tony. Don Tony manages 10 fighters in the Empire organization, seemingly taking the strategy that if you put enough fighters out there, at least one of them has to be a winner. Unfortunately for him, this match did not pan out his way. Biggs won the first round handily and absolutely dominated the second round, and finally knocked Van Horn out with a nasty punch combo 2:10 into the third round. Van Horn was lucky to last that long, as Biggs battered him in the second round.

The second fight saw the 170 lbs champion Michael Howardson improve to 3-0-0 by knocking out Pedro Gonclaves on strikes a mere 22 seconds into the second round. Howardson came into this fight with as much hype as a fighter in this two-bit organization can get, but he showed why he deserves all the hype he has yet to earn, and never will. After the victory, a triumphant Howardson celebrated by turning into a corporate shill, thanking Caveman clothing hoping his only fan might possibly buy their clothing. Gonclaves seemed to not care about the loss whatsoever saying, “Shit happens.” I guess he really does not care if he wins or loses.

In the third fight of the night, Micheal Turner proved that you do not need to know how to spell Michael correctly to win by beating Serbian Zivan Radosavjevic by unanimous decision. The score was 30:27 in favor of Don Tony’s man on all three scorecards in a stinker of a match. The few fans in attendance voiced their displeasure by booing the objectively awful display of fighting in front of them. The fight got better from there on out, even though the result was never in question. There are two lessons to learn from this fight. Firstly, if you have enough fighters, one of them has to win. Secondly, booing works! Although, any Philadelphia sports fan could have told you that.

The fans were treated to a small break in the action as Santiago Munez apparently did not get the memo that he was supposed to be fighting at 205 lbs and inexplicably missed weight. His would be opponent, Eddie Miles, must have been disappointed at the missed opportunity to fight, but his manager, Roger Jones, still had three other fighters that night.

Speaking of which, two of his fighters were supposed to face off, but only one of them showed up, as Ricardo (no relation to Eddie) Miles destroyed Jim Brunson. Miles won via submission on strikes just 2:25 into the first round. The Trinidadian fighter thanked his imaginary fans after the win, who showered him with imaginary applause in return. Brunson’s nickname is “The Crab” due to his home in the crab country of Maryland and his proficiency wrestling, but based off of tonight’s performance, I would have guessed he got the nickname from the way he crawls out of the cage after he loses. Jones both won and lost this match, with Miles improving to 2-0-0, while Brunson showed why he has yet to win a match in his career.

Finally in the main event, which was ironically probably the least hyped matchup of the card, Fred Beyako beat Jamaican Rico Wilson via an Anaconda choke 3:57 into the third round. Beyako’s win was the second of the evening for manager Don Tony, while Wilson’s loss was the second for Jones tonight. Also of note, in Jones’s only win of the night, he still lost. Beyako was the more aggressive of the fighters all night, but the fight was pretty even on the scorecards going into the final round. Then, just like R. Kelly with an underage girl, Beyako eventually forced Wilson into submission after trying all night. It was a fitting ending for the evening: a mediocre match with mediocre fighters for a mediocre event in a mediocre organization.

Pedro Gonclaves on his social media:

 

What the fuck did I just read? Of course I do fuckin care if I lose, but what is the point in crying over the spilled milk. Life goes on. Next time I will be better, faster, stronger. On that day, opponent was simply better. Congrats to him for the win. But you know fucking nothing about the fighting game apparently.

 

#noobstalking

#sticktofootball

[KING OF FIGHTERS: IRON WOLF SMACK TALK THREAD]

Samule Nkothjo on his social media

 

"Hey Bob of Legend, hope you are gonna enjoy your last 8 days before I destroy you. Even my grandma would kick your ass in standup. I am gonna retire you. I am giving you a free facelift, even your parents won't recongize ya, pussy. So enjoy the last week of this life, because after the cage door locks behind you, nobody will help you, there is no running away. And it will not be over until you are bloodied and unconsciously lying on the mat. Nobody will remember you after that. When I get my hands on you, it will be the end of Bob of Legend as we know him. After that there will only be legends about the possiblility someone like you existed "

 

#8daystillretirement

#yougoingdown

#legendarybeating

[EMPIRE MMA]

Pedro Goncalves posts on his social media:

 

"Michael Howardson, props to you man. You won the title and you accepted short notice fight against me few days after, while other so-called fighters in welterweight division crawled under the nearest rock and hid instead of facing me. I have nothign but respect for you man, but do not get me wrong, I am still gonna get your title eventually. Let's go out there and make a great show for people on Saturday. After that I am gonna clean the division and come for you again, for the title this time. So enjoy the belt while you can, because it will not last forever."

 

#propstoButcher

#realwaronSaturaday

#futurechampishere

[KING OF FIGHTERS: IRON WOLF SMACK TALK THREAD]

It is quite sad then that this boring fighter is still more popular than your kid, man.

 

But you still missed the point anyway. You know number of takedowns or strikes matter only when you get to the score cards for decision. But that guy did not even make it out of 3rd minute. Score three takedowns in 3 minutes and getting subbed after it seems like Magnus was just following a simple strategy letting your opponent get tired and finish him. That is quite obvious for anyone who has some knowledge of this sport.

 

You do not need million takedowns or strikes to win, you just need 1 good technique. And victories like that are sometimes much more crowd friendly man. Because a brilliantly executed americana is what people wanna see. But nobody wants to see a couple of 250 pounds kids laying on each other for so long that referee has to stand it up again.

[KING OF FIGHTERS: IRON WOLF SMACK TALK THREAD]

Probably saw a different match then, I saw a nice controlled performance with no wild exchanges in standup and dominant ground game with submission under three minutes.

 

And that is actually something your guy should learn. Maybe pay a visit to Amsterdam and Magnus can teach your kiddo how to do something on ground. Because in your kid's fights, when he got on ground, all we could see and hear was crowd booing as your guy was just sitting in guard looking like a female porn star getting ready for being pounded. Maybe he should not pull guard when he do not know what to do next. And some lucky punches and early stoppages will not stand by him forever.

[KING OF FIGHTERS: IRON WOLF SMACK TALK THREAD]

It's pretty funny everyone trying to talk smack when finishing machine Quinnen Williams is the only man on the roster with a 4-0 record including 3 first round stoppages and is only 19. Better get familiar with your future P4P champ in the org.

 

Quinnen has arrived in NYC and is just waiting for the phone call when someone decides they want to be win #5. Just send over the contract.

 

Find it hillarious how you hyping Quinnen, while dicrediting all other guys here. But the fact is that Quinnen even though going 4-0 in his 4 "fights" while being only 19 seems great, he has beaten guys who were also 18 or 19. Therefore having 4 wins against 4 kiddos somewhere on the beach on Hawaii doesn't even make you a fighter let alone a future P4P champ. When Quinnen beats someone who can legally celebrate his win with Shoey, then we can consider him being a fighter and someone interesting in the division.

 

So far he is like a Homer Simpson when he started to do boxing. When he faces a real competition, he is gonna get beaten hard. I could not care less about 265lb division but I am sure some guys there will destroy Quinnen the same way Magnus Hjarvardsson the real future P4P king is gonna clean his division.

[KING OF FIGHTERS: IRON WOLF SMACK TALK THREAD]

Rayleigh Dragon posted on social media.

 

"Oh Steve. It's on bruh big mistake calling me a no skill fighter. I'll be watching your next fight and we'll know if you really have what it takes. That's if you win your next fight. I'll be on the sidelines goona watch you get knock up close.

 

#FutureChamp

#RayleighTeam

Steve Gudmundsson on his social media

 

"Yeah bro, looking forward to see you in first row, so I can watch the fear in your eyes after I destroy Petr Yan. Maybe you can even learn somethinng watching me dominate my opponent in standup, on the ground and everywhere. Cause you are next, kid."

 

#watchandlearn

#youarenext

[KING OF FIGHTERS: IRON WOLF SMACK TALK THREAD]

Magnus Hjarvardsson posting on his social media about his upcoming fight with Johnny Hammer.

 

People ask me what do I think about my next opponent Johnny "Big" Hammer. What do I think? I do not understand why he calls himself big. Probably because he has BIG ego while being such a BIG loser. He should go back to North England fightting with securities on parties, that is where he belongs. He does not deserve being in octagon with me. When we clash it will be history over again when my ancestors came to his land and devastated it 1200 year ago. And it did not change. The Viking is gonna crush Englishman again.

 

I have one message for you Geordie. On 25th April, you're gonna be taken down to the mat and getting choked unconsicous. There is nothing you can do with it. So watch your back!

 

#Rearnakedchokeround1 #easyfight #goingforthetitle #dragonyouarenext

[KING OF FIGHTERS: IRON WOLF SMACK TALK THREAD]

Steve Gudmundsson after watching Rayleigh Dragons's interview and the watching him getting knocked out cold in finals

 

Kid, you better stay out of this MMA organisation or you might get hurt, bro. You do not belong here, after attending few BJJ classes you thinkn you are a real fighter? That so-called tournament you did not even win was more like kids playing on the playground. You do not have the skills for this big league of real man fighting. You would not last a round with me.

 

But if you still wanna get a free facelift, just watch me destroy another fool like you, some russian loser who is going to go down too. Kiddos like you will not stop me and I am more than happy to show you how bad you are and that you shouldn't even call yourself a fighter.

 

When I get my hands on you, nobody will ever want to see you again, because it will just be a slaughter and people will be afraid you could get hurt that much ever again.

 

So if you won't chicken out after watching some Russian Bomb getting defused, I am ready for you to introduce you to the world of pain, kid!