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Death

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Posts posted by Death

  1. Worf Roshenko is back for another interview on TheMMAssault, MMA Tycoon's Best 24-hr News Channel

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXfkGM7QKFc (News Jingle)

    We're proud to once again have Worf Roshenko on our show, a heavyweight-championship class contender making his way in Rio's Ultimate Fighting Federation. I'm your host, Abe Eaton. More than that, I'm also Worf's manager. I've watched his skill set grow in leaps and bounds at our new and improving gym,http://mmatycoon.com/images/company_banners/1416364499banner2.png


    Worf Roshenko is seen on the screen doing his rigorous calisthenics routine with some intense weight training as well. We see a montage of Worf fighting elite veteran Light Diode,battling him punch for punch, grappling, and both men fighting as if their lives were on the line. Blood can be seen gushing from various cuts on both men. Sweat is so thick that it leaves a pool mixing with the blood on the floor. But there are no tears. Both men are smiling. They are fucking fighters, this is what they live for.

     

    Now Mr. Roshenko joins us live in studio. Worf, thanks for being here! I must say I'm excited. You're getting a huge title shot. What are your thoughts?

    Worf: This menace is not the greatest opponent I have faced. For a human, he is adequate. I AM a BEAST! I am the BEAST of BEASTS. Pain does not exist. Fear does not exist. There is no winning, no losing, only total domination or dishonor. When I win the title, I will stand victorious over Buddy Guy's dead body.

    Abe Eaton: Yes, I understand our lawyers have notified UFF and Buddy Guy's management to have a trauma team on site and a chopper ready to medevac him to the nearest Level 5 trauma facility. I've been told by Rio police that the military will be summoned to keep the peace. Tell me, though, what do you see as the greatest challenge with Buddy Guy?

    It comes down to this: He's got a brutal submission game. Don't believe the hype. And that's his only hope. Buddy Guy may have a lot of wins with KOs, but He WILL NOT knock me out. I've shown time and again, I can win in any way except a decision, because the Judges are dishonorable. I assure you, I will not let that happen. If it does, then it might be time for Rio to call in its Dogs, I mean, military.

    Worf, we've always been able to level with each other, right? OK man, I'm going to be real with you. Real talk. What the fuck are you talking about? You're afraid of his submissions? I've seen you train a lot of conditioning. I've seen you train striking. And I've seen you train grappling. You're well rounded, but...I need to address the elephant in the room. Buddy Guy is a brutal striker. You've shown the same capability. But the experience factor, does that play into consideration any?

    No. I respect my elders. Much can be learned from experience. I have no doubt that he will teach me some lessons. I look forward to it. Like a Borg, I will assimilate his fightological distinctiveness and add it to my own. Resistance shall be futile. As a matter of fact, I've got this new weapon. It will be unleashed. The consequence will be the end of Buddy Guy's career. He'll end up playing blues guitar again in some West Memphis chicken shack. I'll be traveling through interstellar space at several millions of times the speed of light. He does not exist on the same level as me. I'm a BEAST, he is only human.

    Right, but once again, what about his striking?

    You must be referring to his hug fighting. Clinching is for inferior weaklings. Perhaps those unsure of their sexuality. In fact, should he clinch with me, I have an answer. Another weapon I've developed thanks to Light Diode. Tell me, Abe, have you ever seen a man dismembered? Are you familiar with the concept of internal decapitation. It's where the spine separate from the head. Side effects include paralysis and death. Whether he wants to hug, or try to find his range with me, he's going to be outclassed.

    Worf, you're baffling me. I've watched a lot of Guy's fight tapes. He's more of a distance striker. Once again, no disrespect intended but I think you're wrong. I'm your manager. I'm telling you for your own good. I'll be in your corner calling it like I see it. What answer do you have for his distance striking?

    Clearly I have the reach advantage. My fists are larger than his puny fists. I recently tested at SportsLab and my punch has 1,424 g's. That is roughly the force of a Buggatti Veyron colliding head on with a fully-loaded tractor trailer. At 280 miles per hour. You've had to replace several punching bags, and sparring partners, for me. In fact, Light Diode has been the only one to hold up.

    Worf, we're running out of time. I think you are very well prepared for this fight. You've even thought of angles I couldn't even conceive. I believe in you and I'm a fucking nihlist. We look forward to seeing you fight exactly one month from today at the Redeemarena in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. I understand tickets go on sale tomorrow, so get them quick folks because all 16,000 seats are expected to be full for

    UFF 32 Guy vs. Roshenko.
    Do you have anything else to say before we go? If Buddy Guy were here right now, what would you say to him?


    I am Worf Roshenko, and I am not your Buddy Guy.<img id="lightbox-image" src="http://new1.fjcdn.com/comments/4918752+_3887d3e3550ae26ef3039577c5ac8eec.jpg" style="display: inline;">

  2. Hi,

     

    I am not a noob, per se. I've been playing a few months, finally went VIP.

     

    I had a mentor who got me off to a good start, helped me set sliders, and I did reasonably well against managers with similar experience.

     

    I now find myself taking more losses against more experienced fighters/managers, and I'm looking for a mentor for the next step of the game, someone to get me to the next level. It's clear that I'm not there yet.

     

    I finally got a hot free agent thanks to a spin and win deal, but so far I'm 0-1 with him (he's 20-3). My other free agent hasn't panned out either. I'm having more luck with my own fighters. I'd like to get another FA but it appears my hype isn't good enough to win the draw.

     

    But I digress. Anyone willing to serve as a mentor to me would be appreciated. I'm also increasingly considering joining an alliance. I want to get more into the game.

     

    I own my own gym now to train my fighters, it's a learning curve and if I didn't have a partner like I do it would not survive.

     

    My fighters have won 2 org w/c titles, but I've lost more title shot matches. I have a big one coming up against a fighter where I'm clearly outclassed. Also, I tried using the new "predict" feature - I don't get it, and since I stopped, I have had more success.

     

    One of my peeves is that the majority (or a lot) of my losses have come from a decision. Is there anyway to do better in that regard? I find that when I set my slider away from "Fight for..." decision or swing for fences I have better luck. My fighters tend to do well defending (and executing) submissions, for the most part, but I need improvement on decisions and striking defense (although I think I'm getting the hang of it).

     

    Anyway, TL/DR summary, need veteran (at least a year or two experience) mentor, possibly an alliance, for above issues and more. Thanks.

  3. The press caught up to Light Diode after his loss by TKO (Punch) Saturday night after SYN Olympics and held a scrum. Diode expressed his anger at the stoppage. "Even the commentators said it might have been too early! The fucking ref makes Steve Mazzagotti look like an expert. Yeah, Hayes hit me with a big punch - not going to deny that. But I was ready to go. There was no reason to stop that fight. As per usual, the fucking officiating sucks." Asked by the media if he wanted a rematch, Diode had this to say, "You're goddamn right I want a rematch! I beat him first by decision. Now I want to knock his ass out. I tried a different approach this time. Next time, I'm going to knock him the fuck out. I already have Chris Tucker booked to announce it...YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT." In calling for a rubber match, Light Diode stated, "We have to settle the score. I'm bringing the fucking pain. Give me that match, he gets knocked out at the end of the first round." Asked how he was going to learn from the loss, Diode had this to say, "There's nothing to learn. I already know the refs are corrupt, the judges are corrupt...how much did they ride Khalid Hayes' dick, anyway? Next time, the only decision they're going to need to make is when to pull me off his limp body."

     

    Diode skipped the locker room and press conference, much to the chagrin of media, and exited the arena to catch his flight home. He is excited to be training at a new gym, the University of Hard Knocks, and could be heard shouting, "Hard FUCKING KNOCKS!" all the way to his Uber ride.

  4. Worf Roshenko is up next on TheMMAssault, MMA Tycoon's Best 24-hr News Channel

    Cue news jingle musie

    And we are live here from the MMAssault newsroom here on the sunny Island, where we're set to talk to Worf Roshenko about who is he, what makes him tick, and his upcoming fight with Jonas Carvalho. I'm your host, and his manager, Abe Eaton. Worf will join us via subspace live from Qo'Nos in a moment. But first, I'd like to show you this training montage we put together.

    Cue Video showing Roshenko in the holodeck slaughtering grizzly bears with his bare hands, including a particularly nasty leg choke. The Dr. Pepper 10 "No Man's Land" theme plays in the background. After killing one particularly troubling bear with a brutal neck kick, Worf proceeds to rip out the bear's heart and eat it. The video then shows Roshenko in a streetfight, defeating nearly 20 enemies with his amazing striking. Next, we see Worf in Zero-G fighting against a TarZenkivitzian Chickenbeaver. The camera cuts away right before Roshenko dismembers the creature.

    And we're back! Joining us now is the incomparable, WORF ROSHENKO! Welcome to the show, Worf, and thanks for being here. First question: What's on your mind for your upcoming fight against Carvalho?

     

    Worf: Well, I do not brag, for it is most often dishonorable. However, the odds are most certainly in my favor.

     

    I see, and what do you see as your greatest challenge going into the match?

     

    The officials. Especially the Judges. That is the only possible way I can lose. Carvalho is weak and inferior. I will crush him like a puny Romulan and then dispatch him with my Ba'Tlef while he is still alive, so he can watch his remains spill out as I set them on fire and feed them to pigs.

     

    Ooookkkkkk, and tell us about that incident in the gym that got you banned from TENACITY ELITE a few months ago.

     

    I was in a sparring session and he challenged me to beat him. I went full force, and I nearly decapitated him with my spinning roundhouse kick, before sweeping him, going into ground and pound. He spent a few days in the hospital. I was banned from the gym.

     

    I see...and what are you looking forward to when you win?

     

    I want to face a top 5 Contender, and if I win, I want a title shot. I work harder than anyone that has ever lived. I am a Klingon warrior. I am worthy of being a champion.

     

    Well, Worf, our time is running out. Let me just close by wishing you the best of luck, which you won't need. I hope and pray you don't decapitate him. I've heard you've really been working on your game and I've seen you in sparring at your new gym - you're investing in elite training now, with better sparring partners. One last question, what kind of surprises should we expect?

     

    If he manages to take me down, I'm going to rip his limbs off one by one and beat him to a bloody pulp. Ka'Plah!!!

     

    Well, there you have it, folks, the enigmatic Worf Roshenko. Thanks for tuning in and check us out for our post-show show after the pay-per-view for the best analysis, commentary, and interviews. As his manager, let me just say he's got several aces up his sleeves, unleashed weapons, and you're going to see a whole new element to his game. Check out the pay-per-view on November 8.

     

     

    • Upvote 1
  5. An irate and inconsolable Worf Roshenko was released from Island Prison after posting a 10,000 bail bond. He was arrested shortly after the LFC event last night for assault after he attacked the referee, who made what Worf consider to be a poor early stoppage. Early in the first round, Worf dropped his opponent, Numero Deux, but failed to take advantage of an obviously stunned opponent on the ground. And, not to be outdone, his opponent immediately put him in the same position and pounced. Despite relentless ground and pound, Worf held up, answering all the referees questions and moving his body and blocking strikes. He was intelligently defending himself within the UMMA rules, when, abruptly, the ref stopped the match.

     

    A shocked Worf immediately got to his feet and began shouting obscenities at the ref. He could be heard, beside himself, as the official decision was announced. The TV network had to cut most of his post-fight speech, but words like mother, dishonor, coward, and kill were frequently used. Then, as the ref was exiting the cage, Worf confronted him and after the ref shoved him, Worf immediately floored him with a head kick and landed in mount to a full anaconda choke. Several security personnel and police officers as well as LFC officials and members of Worfs training camp tried vainly to get him to release the hold for nearly two minutes before bear mace was used.

     

    At the insistence of LFC management, Worf was taken into custody. After being released from jail this morning with a pending trial date, Worf made some comments on the jailhouse steps. He was noticeably calmer.

     

    We feel that we were cheated. I was intelligently defending myself, responding verbally each time he asked if I was OK. When the fight was first stopped, I thought perhaps he did not hear me correctly and thought I surrendered. Numero Deux was hitting me with some weak ground and pound, about to gas himself out. He could barely finish his post-fight speech without collapsing. I was very close to hip escaping into half guard, and from there I could have gone for a lock or choke. I was just waiting on him to Carwin out. The actions of the Referee were highly dishonorable and would be punishable by execution in the Klingon Empire. I strongly encourage the Island Athletic Commission to take swift and decisive action, including his termination and to overturn the results of the fight to a no contest. I regret my actions but not the reason I took them. I take comfort in knowing that in less than 10 days I will be off the Island, where corruption is rife, and under the purview of better officiating.

    • Upvote 1
  6. SSIA. Booked a guy from Hilo to LA on a round trip, flew in one guy from LA to Hilo for a fight, no problems there, booked another guy for the return trip, a move base from Hilo to LA. I get a message that he did not board the flight because he *wasnt in the correct departure location of Hilo* or whatever. Well, I checked, and yes, he was in Hilo and has been for sometime. WTF?

     

    This has to be a glitch, right?

     

     

  7. Manager and Fighter Abe Eaton recently flew to the Island for a nice Sunday dinner with LFCs own Worf Roshenko. As they feasted on Gagk and Blood Wine, Worf, ever the strong silent type, remarked upon life on the Island. He said that, compared to life where he grew up, life on the island is a beach. He talked about the kicks heard around the world, his recent victories by devastating head kicks, saying that they come from nowhere and he has not practiced them in the gym, but, at the insistence of his new striking coach, he is now training in tae kwon do. As the Blood Wine began to loosen him up, Worf challenged Numero Deux or whatever his name is to a fight in a couple of weeks. He said he had been waiting for a shot at him for awhile. Worf said he is going new directions in training and has a number of surprises up his sleeve.

  8. FV Superhevyweight Champ Mark Calloway was forwarded an email from his manager today from Tony Lanes manager. He laughed hysterically and agreed to take a break from his busy schedule to sit down for an interview with his manager.

     

    AE: Mark, you are going into a match with someone who submitted you a few weeks ago. What are you thinking as you train and prepare?

     

    MC: I am thinking, Ive seen this before, been there done that. I may be new to MMA but I wasnt born yesterday. Just like I did with Mark Otsy, I will adapt. He will not get the chance. He is a one trick pony. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is an overrated skill. There is no place for it in the 265+ weight class....go do that with the little men.

     

    AE: You recently walked out of contract renewal negotiations with the EFV. Tell us what you were thinking.

     

    MC: I think we are going in different directions. I see new talent coming in, grizzled veterans, and while I am up to any challenge, I think right now I need some more development time to become the worlds greatest. Also, when I defend my title, we will sit down at the table again and see if we can iron out an extension. I will fight anybody. I am grateful to Evil Forbidden Violence for giving me the opportunity to be its first 265+ World Champ, and I will remain to defend it as long as it takes

     

    AE: How are you going to turn the tables on Tony Lanes this time? What did you learn from your last match?

     

    Well, I went back and watched the tape from the last match. He has good BJJ and good knees. He probably sucks a lot of dick or spends a lot of time begging for mercy. I am coming at him with some new shit. If he goes for a submission, I am going to slam him with ground and pound. If he wants to stand and bang, I am going to take him down quick and tap him myself. If he throws a knee, I will check it or get him in a single leg takedown. He cant outmuscle me, so I am going to dictate the pace and place of the fight.

     

    Mark Calloway returned to his sparring session and brutally slammed his sparring partner to the ground with a sweep after his partner tried to knee his head during a single leg take down. Brutal ground and pound ensued with Calloways handlers having to pull him off his sparring opponent. Holy shit! I think hes dead!, somebody shouted. If he dies, he dies, said Calloway as he spit on the motionless sparring partner and left the octagon.

     

    EVIL FORBIDDEN VIOLENCE you wanted, you got it.

     

     

  9. Well thanks for the advice everyone.

     

    Guess I am going to just take my own advice as well, which is to keep experimenting with sliders, since evidently I build horrible fighters. Thing is, I was pretty sure this was MMA...not boxing, wrestling, or muay thai. It would seem logical to build a reasonably well rounded fighter with an emphasis in one thing to a small extent...I mean, if you look at any modern MMA fighter, this is basically what you have. One trick ponies do not get anywhere.

     

    I tried to build a good striking fighter, but so far it is not working out...at all. I thought I would put him in a KT org. For some reason I make decent ground fighters but striking is just something I am lacking...except for Mark Calloway. It seems like you cant have your cake and eat it too...pick one or the other (striking or grappling) is what many seem to say.

  10. Alright, so I rented an entire private jet from Tokyo to Sydney to move a fighter. I made a mistake, big time. I sent my own fighter an invite, not realizing he would book 5 seats instead of one for the move. I did not realize the invite rate I set was for 5 seats at said invite rate, which turned out to be 35,000 total (5 seats x 7,000 ea). I was only trying to recoup 7,000, which was the total cost of the flight, minus the actual rental which I am absorbing as manager. So imagine my horror when I back my fighter out of the flight and realize he is 35,000 in the negative.

     

    My question is where does this money go? To the jet owner? It sure isnt in the bank for the jet. Why cant I issue him a refund? Did the money disappear into thin air? Its an honest, relative noob mistake. HELP!

     

    I fixed it the best way I knew how, cancelled the flight, rescheduled, reset the ticket price to 1400, which is just enough to pay the jets expenses, then resissued the invite and accepted. At least now I have my guy booked.

     

    I had to offset these expenses as manager, so if there is no way to fix it, then if someone would be kind enough to send me some money, that would be great. I have been pretty wise with money but this was an honest mistake. I just did not know the system. So if someone could either tell me how to fix this, if it can, and/or help me out financially, it would be appreciated.

     

    Also ISO an unofficial mentor so shit like this does not happen in the future.

     

    Edit: One additional question...do I need to put the 7g in the jets bank as manager so the jet can leave or will the ticket sales from the fighter cover it? I just want to get him there without wasting another 7 grand when I dont need it. I put a buck in for now because it told me I could not schedule flights without it.

  11. Alright, so I rented an entire private jet from Tokyo to Sydney to move a fighter. I made a mistake, big time. I sent my own fighter an invite, not realizing he would book 5 seats instead of one for the move. I did not realize the invite rate I set was for 5 seats at said invite rate, which turned out to be 35,000 total (5 seats x 7,000 ea). I was only trying to recoup 7,000, which was the total cost of the flight, minus the actual rental which I am absorbing as manager. So imagine my horror when I back my fighter out of the flight and realize he is 35,000 in the negative.

     

    My question is where does this money go? To the jet owner? It sure isnt in the bank for the jet. Why cant I issue him a refund? Did the money disappear into thin air? Its an honest, relative noob mistake. HELP!

     

    I fixed it the best way I knew how, cancelled the flight, rescheduled, reset the ticket price to 1400, which is just enough to pay the jets expenses, then resissued the invite and accepted. At least now I have my guy booked.

     

    I had to offset these expenses as manager, so if there is no way to fix it, then if someone would be kind enough to send me some money, that would be great. I have been pretty wise with money but this was an honest mistake. I just did not know the system. So if someone could either tell me how to fix this, if it can, and/or help me out financially, it would be appreciated.

     

    Also ISO an unofficial mentor so shit like this does not happen in the future.

  12. But why is it in the red? Isnt 165 acceptable for weigh in? Dropping him to 155 was the plan...after this fight, which was booked when he was still signed at 170. After the fight was booked, I renegotiated the contract to switch from 170 to 155 w/c. I guess I am going to cut weight until otherwise advised because the system is evidentally saying he is too heavy for 155 rather than too light for 170.

     

    Maybe a glitch? Otherwise why would it be saying I am off weight when I am within an acceptable weight range for 170? Could it be that the system wants me to cut to 155 per my NEW contract, rather than 170, as the fight was booked?

  13. http://mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilemanager.php?FID=211871

     

    Abe Eaton WAS in the 170 weight class, and is currently at 164.6lbs. I renewed his contract with the same org at 155, but this fight was booked while he was still contracted at 170. The opponent is around 170. Currently, his weight is showing up in red, which to me means the system considers it a catchweight fight, which means I would need to be within the 155 range. What are the lower and upper limits of this range and where do I need him to be? I just want him to make weight, that is all.

     

    THanks.

  14. Kim Jong Un, fresh off his win of the vacant heavyweight championship belt, sat down with Ariel Helwani for an interview in Amsterdam sunday before jetting off to North Korea for a rare interview.

     

    AH: So, first of all congratulations on your win yesterday over Hush Hanson. How are you feeling today?

     

    KJU: I feel like shit because I am still in the West, but winning the belt after all this hard work is excellent.

     

    AH: So now that you have competed in two divisions in TGC, which one would you say you like best?

     

    KJU: Well, the 205 is definitely more competitive and there are plenty of BJJ specialists like myself, which makes it difficult, but I am working hard for my black belt and I plan to return and go for the title, to the light heavyweight division. The 265 has had much of its roster part ways with the organization, but I am happy to help rebuild.,

     

    AH: What are you immediate plans in the heavyweight division?

     

    KJU: Well, I am expecting to face the coward Eddie Armstrong, who couldnt even show up for his last fight, a title shot, too...because he is a pussy. Or whatever excuse. Maybe his manager is just horrible. We all forget sometimes, but not showing up for a title shot? How do you say in English, Un-fuckin-believable? When I beat Armstrong, by knocking him out cold or taping him, then we will see. There is one guy who gives me concern, but I will be ready.

     

    AH: Lets talk about Eddie Armstrong. He currently stands undefeated and has bested top notch opponents. He has a solid wrestling game and a lot of natural power. How do you plan to deal with that?

     

    KJU: I am a wildcard 11th Universe Brazilian Jiu Jitsu specialist. My base will always be that, but I am capable of much more. My striking game has improved significantly, and I am not afraid of his wrestling - in fact, let him take me down...he will regret it. I guarantee that. I am working on more than submissions. My ground and striking game are going to be far better in the future. I have already won by strikes and a TKO.

     

    AH: Critics say you are a mediocre fighter at best, with a 6-7 record. What do you say to that?

     

    KJU: I have fought mostly above or at my own level. I have not taken bums like Armstrong. I even fought one guy twice after a controversial loss by decision. Most of my losses have been by decision. They could not finish me, so the judges had to step in, corrupt as usual. They should run for American political office.

     

    AH: You have had trouble in the past with hardcore strikers. What have you done to overcome that?

     

    KJU: I get faster, quicker, more agile, more flexible, and more powerful every day. You cannot hit what you cannot touch. My conditioning regimen is top notch. Thanks to the guys at Academia Espartania, I am becoming a well rounded fighter. If someone wants to force the stand up game on me, I am either taking it down to the ground, my level, dodging them till they tire out, and then destroying them with precision striking.

     

    AH: What would be your dream match within TGC?

     

    KJU: Well, I would like to get a shot at Terry Hope again, perhaps at catchweight...but if not, I will return to the light heavyweight division as long as TGC will have me. We are both BJJ specialists. He just barely squeaked by with a decision. Next time, I will beat him...and why not make it kickboxing rules to be more interesting? I will whip his ass all day at striking.

     

    AH: Well, thank you for taking the time to discuss things with me today, Kim. Good luck. What do you have to say in conclusion?

     

    KJU: EDDIE ARMSTRONG, ME AND YOU, JANUARY 25TH OR 31ST, LIVE ON PAY PER VIEW, FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE. BE PREPARED FOR THE BITTER TASTE OF DEFEAT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR PATHETHIC LIFE. I WILL MAKE YOU TAP...OR I JUST MIGHT KNOCK YOU THE FUCK OUT. ITS ON.

  15. I feel that I end up on the bullshit end of 60% of decisions in this game, but as in real life, dont let it go to the judges, right? I am just wondering 1) if the in-game decision is based on actual umma rules (i.e. effective octagon control, striking, aggression, etc.) and 2) if there is a way, or plans to change the rules so the fight ends in any way except a decision.

     

    I am progressing but its very frustrating being on the bullshit end of a decision. Also, I am no longer eligible for a mentorship through the game, but if anyone is interested in giving in advice, message me in-game. Am I not setting my fighters aggressive enough and losing decisions because of that? I tried setting fighters aggressive...almost always, they get tapped or tko early on.

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