sgtlee33b

Good Afternoon Fight Fans, Hashmatulla Hotek coming at you with a Post VFC Wild Wednesday breakdown. For this fight looks like we upgraded to Paddy O’Malleys Bar for our 10-fight card. Let’s talk about these fights. Undercard Heavyweight Fight William Silverado (0-0) vs Mason Island (0-1) The experts said, this fight wasn’t going to the judges, which between me and you is smart because they have been pounding Jack & Cokes all night. Mason Island tried to clinch up to use his superior Muay Thai, but William Silverado didn’t want none of that, using some good fakes William Silverado sent Mason Island to sleep in .15 seconds. Great start to Silverado’s pro career, Mason Island (0-2) needs to work on his game plan a get back in there. It’s a rough sport, I won’t say keep your head up that is how he got knocked out, but keep your chin tucked. Winner William Silverado (1-0) by TKO Middleweight Fight Frank Castle (0-1) vs Pacific Android (1-0) All the experts were anticipating another stand up war and they were not disappointed. What basically turned into a high level Muay Thai fight ended up with Frank Castle turning Pacific Android into a blood sausage. You could basically see Pacific’s skull through the cut above his eye. Frank Castle looked much stronger than his last fight, came out aggressive and calibrated, throwing more than 30 power shots connecting with a ridiculous 83%, its like Pacific was moving into them. Pacific seemed off on his game tonight hitting for only 4% of his shots, 4% shit Steven Wonder could have landed more. Winner Frank Castle (1-1) by TKO Bantamweight Fight Yuunji Hoshino (1-0) vs Sextus Lentulus (0-1) What was bound to be a stand up Muay Thai fight between to excellent Muay Thai practitioners. And that is what we got a very technical fight between two evenly matched fighters. Yuunji who came into the fight in better shape as the much more aggressive fighter, throwing 82 strikes to 14 strikes by Sextus. Not sure what Sextu’s camp had planned but 34 takedown attempts from a high school level wrestler wasn’t the answer. Sextus can bang leave that fight on its feet. It’s possible that the first hard shot that Sextus took from Yuunji made him not want to stand and bang. But Sextus has a chin man, he took more than 50 hits and didn’t go down. Winner Yuuji Hoshino (2-0) by Unanimous Decision Welterweight Fight Theador Cruse (0-0) vs Daniel Doober (1-0) This was an excellent fight that had some good back and forth. Early on Doober was beating Cruse like a stepchild. But as wrestlers often do, that muscle memory kicked in and half out on his feet Cruse got Doober to the ground where he stood a better chance or though he thought. Doober didn’t care where the fight was he was going to win regardless at least that is what he was screaming from inside the cage. While not known for his BJJ that armbar by Doober was smooth. Winner Daniel Doober (2-0) by Submission (Armbar) Light Heavyweight Logan Howlett (1-0) vs Rick Ross (0-0) What can we say, it looked like Ross would have the wrestling and strength to take down Theador Cruse, but Cruse wasn’t willing to wait for that to happen. Logan threw 8 solid head shots and dropped Rick Ross like he was Tyron Woodley. Winner Logan Howlett (2-0) by TKO Heavyweight Fight Kiki Eketone (1-0) vs Bill Nye (0-0) Honestly Nye showed some heart, Kiki threw an overhand right less than a minute in that put Nye down hard. But he managed to get up and keep fighting. Kiki continued to conduct science experiments on Bill Nye’s face for a few minutes before hitting him with a superman punch that put him to sleep. Winner Kiki Eketone (2-0) by KO (superman punch) Welterweight Fight Turk Barrett (1-0) vs Tong Sagat (0-0) This was a great banger of a fight. Good back and forth until Turk hit Sagat with a Mike Tyson uppercut. Tong Sagat never recovered and took a few more shots before the referee was forced to give him mercy. Winner Turk Barrett (2-0) by TKO (Strikes) Light Heavyweight Aaron Walls (0-0) vs Ray Bradbury (2-0) Okay, I know I am not suppost to say this but DAMMNNNN Ray Bradbury is for real. He beat Aaron Walls into submission. That moves Ray to (3-0), the boss needs to look at getting this guy a title shot. Winner Ray Bradbury (3-0) by Submission (Strikes) Co-main Event Lightweight Fight Guillermo Diaz (1-0) vs Hirata Hitoshi (1-0) Two fighters walked in with unblemished records only one was going to leave that way. Not going to lie to you folks, given that both fighters are known for their wrestling, I thought we were going to have a boring dry humping display. And for a minute it looked that way, no real shots taken on the feet. But once it got to the ground Hirata” Hit His Ass so Hardshi” beat the snot out of Diaz with some effective and powerful ground and pound. Winner Hirata Hitoshi (2-0) by TKO (Strikes) Main Event Xon HiChi (1-0) vs Aldo Nova (1-0) It was anticipated that HiChi would clinch and then smash Aldo. With both fighters having deep Maui Thai skills that was going to be over quickly and be 15 minutes of banging which is what we got. Both fighters threw more than 100 punches in the clinch, the difference being that HiChi was more accurate with 58% of his shots finding pay dirt to 27% by Aldo Nova. A takeaway is even though Aldo Nova has thrown the most strikes with 138 strikes thrown in a VFC event, he wasn’t able to get the win because he didn’t land them. Maybe focus on contact in his next camp. While both fighters fought hard and it wasn’t by any means a landslide victory, the judges got it right giving Xon HiChi the unanimous decision. Winner Xon HiChi (2-0) by Unanimous decision Announcements The boss man just came by and announced that he has officially lost his mind. He has decided that on the 1st of January he will be holding not just one stacked fight card but two stacked fight cards. That is 20 fights on one day, how you ask he booked both Paddy O’Malley’s Bar and Wild Bob’s Bar, holy crap. I don’t know if it is genius or if he is just being greedy because he knows I am paid by the day not the event and this way he gets two fight cards for one out of me. I am excited, drunk, confussed, and hungry right now. But man, 20 fights from one org in one night, hell yeah.

Hashmutallah Hotek, here for the post-fight presser for VFC 1 at Micro Arena. First of all I wanted to say thank you to all the fighters, not a single decision on the night, hell yeah. We held 10 fights scheduled for 3 hours and finished in 30 minutes and 15 seconds. Only 1 fight made it out of the first round. Honestly I hope the boss Thomas “Tommy” Forrester gets a prorated rebate on this joint for us giving them 2 and half hours back. Do you know how much wasted research I had to do to cover that scheduled dead air between fights and rounds? I mean I was digging into where these guys went to high school, who they train with, their dreams and how sad their childhood was to make them sound interesting. Damn, I was forced to do a 15-minute interview with a very drunk David Arquette on the new Scream movie and his “career” as a professional wrestler, that never aired. I think I would rather go on a double date with Bill Cosby and Kevin Spacey that have to do that again, but I digress back to the fights. First hats off to our four new Champions, our new Heavyweight Champion Jack Spade, Light Heavyweight Champion Leon McClane, Middleweight Champion Baysangur Usamov and Bantamweight Champion Demetrious Johnson. I understand that new strap on your waist feels good boys, but we want to see you defend it before we start calling you real champions.Let’s break these fights down The Main Event Kernritsu Katsuyamakuroda verse Gera GOI at light heavyweight. This fight didn’t last long, a little feeling each other out, no take down attempts and a scrap. Just a good old face smashing by Katsuyamakuroda. I know a few people thought the ref jumped in to soon, but Gera was out on his feet. His eyes did that Undertaker thing where they rolled back in his head. He was done. The Co-main event for Light Heavyweight Belt Leon “The Brain” McClane verse Conan The Bavarian for the light heavyweight belt. We knew that McClane packed some dynamite in his right hand but we didn’t expect him to turn Conan into a Bavarian Cream Puff in 2 minutes and 30 seconds. I know that The Bavarian has some scar tissue on his eyes, looks like a Diaz brother when it comes to getting cut. But there was a spot about 30 seconds into the fight where he took McClane down that looked like he could have the Brain in trouble. But McClane recovered quick and then beat him like he stole something. After the fight the Boss Tommy Forrester came in and announced that The Brain will be fighting Kyree Suder in the near future for his first title defense. I just want to put out there that Tommy Forrester is looking good, I heard he was out there working out at Headlock Holiday Gym he is looking buff, that and it looked like he got his Highland Clothing shirt at Baby Gap. Undercard Bouts We had Ned Bouillon verse Oliver Smith; this one was a speed verse power fight. Not going to lie to you Smith looks like a NFL Lineman swinging sledgehammers for hands. I was barely able to open my Whitelaw before he took 10 years off of Bouillon’s life. 5 seconds….now I tell my girlfriends that’s a long time but it’s not, that is possibly the fastest knockout in MMA history. It’s not like Bouillon has a glass jaw, but if you ever want to see what it looks like when someone gets CTE, just watch the 5 seconds that was that whole fight. I thought we were going to have to charge Smith with murder. But Bouillon got up, he did try to do an interview and raise his hand in victory, but we are not sure if he knew what decade he was in. He is being sent to the local vet's office for an MRI. In the future when we are more established the VFC does plan on getting some sort of medical coverage for its fighters. Undercard bout Old Leg Tartakov and Yovko Yovkov at heavyweight. Both of them looked confused when they were called out of the back after 5 seconds, but they are professionals and got to business. This was going to be a fight of styles and Old Leg executed his plan perfectly, take Yovko down and beat the Yoko Ono out of him. In less than a minute he rag dolled Yovko to the ground and introduced his elbows and fist to his face, brutal to watch. But future opponents better not sleep on Yovko, Old Leg is an expectational wrestler, had he not put Yovko on his back this fight could have gone a completely different direction. Undercard bout for Middleweight championship Baysangur Usamov vs Daniel Submission for the middleweight championship. This was brute strength verse technique. Usamov was calibrated and just hit Submission right in the temple and that was it. The extra 6 punches after his soul left his body weren’t really necessary but Usamov was sending a message to his next victim. As he was tenderizing Submissions face on the ground, Usamov looked into the crowd at Christiaan Huygens and yelled, “You don’t want this.” We will see if that is who VFC calls for his next fight. We hope that Submission gets back on the horse, it was just one of those fights we know Daniel knows how to recover even if he is drinking the rest of his meals through a straw for a while. Undercard bout Steven Seagull vs Rafael Soto at bantamweight. There were some concerns early because Seagull has KO power but El Diablo has one of those Roy Nelson chins, or should I say Roy Nelson pre–Mark Hunt fight chins. This fight went exactly how Seagull’s corner said they didn’t want it to go. El Diablo clinched, dragged him down and tapped him out quick. This is a message for the division there is only one other brown belt in the bantamweight division. If they want to stand a chance, they better find a way to keep the fight on its feet. From talking to Tommy Forrester looks like Soto’s next fight will be for the belt against Mighty Mouse, looking forward to it. Undercard bout Kyree Suder vs Jonny Bar at light heavyweight. Neither fighter is technical strikers but that didn’t matter because this fight quickly went to the mat, At first, we thought Bar was going to do a Jon Fitch and dry hump Suder for a decision, but Kyree was having none of it and submitted him out. And for putting an end to a rather technical fight, which is causal MMA fan for boring Kyree Suder is being rewarded with a shot at the belt. But honestly after seeing McClane fight earlier not sure if it is a reward or a punishment. But it will be a good fight when it goes down. Undercard bout for Heavyweight Championship A heavyweight scrap between the Spade brothers for the Heavyweight Championship: I knew this was going to be an awesome fight. I spent about 10 minutes talking to Jack and Ace’s mom and dad, and holy crap I am hoping to get invited over for Thanksgiving that house has to be a hoot. Mr. Spade, who was more than buzzed off what looked like his 24th Natty Ice was on a roll. Something about putting up whoever loses for adoption and that Jack is playing the “Ace of Spades” as his walk on music to prevent his brother Ace Spade from using it. The fight lasted longer than most of my relationship on tender with Jack taking his brother’s man card and the belt in 1 minute and 37 seconds. Undercard bout The heavyweight fight between Mac Anudo and Adracio Zalasat. Mac Anudo was telling us that he was going to beat the fat off Adracio. And that is pretty much what he did. He went out there took Adracio down fairly easily and then kneaded his face like dough until he tapped. I am not going to question Adracio’s toughness mainly because he would eat me. But I thought that it was a unwritten rule that you don’t tap out to strikes unless your Bob Sap. Undercard bout for the Bantamweight Championship Demetrious “Mighty Mouse” Johnson faced off against Kenton “The Kid” Tracks at 135lbs for the belt. This was out most competitive fight making it out of the first round and almost the full 15 minutes. The fight was pretty boring until the 3rd round when Mighty Mouse decided crack The Kid with a liver shot that he never recovered from. But there was a good minute after that were Mighty Mouse seemed afraid to commit to going for the kill and instead proceeded to dance with The Kid like this was dancing with the stars, seriously how do you clinch and break clinch 34 times when you have them stunned. This guy has more commitment issues than JLo. That is Jennifer Lopez for you non-boomers out there. But I can confidently say that 107 clinch attempts in 9 minutes has to be a MMA record. Despite that the belt looks good on Might Mouse let’s hope he keeps it because Rafael Soto said, “El Diablo don’t dance.” All in all great fight, I had a blast, I am hoping that at the next VFC fight the ring girls don’t look like it’s a twenty-year reunion girl that used to be hot in high school. I know, it’s about the fighters but damn. We look forward to bringing you more entertaining fights and separating the strong from the weak, that’s what we do here at VFC. Please note that I am an independent contractor and the beliefs and statements above do not reflect on the management of Vandal Fight Club.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Vandal Fight Club 1 It Has Begun at the Mirco Arena on the Island, I am the VFC fight commentator Hashmutallah Hotek.Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and Festivus for the Rest of Us heathens. Our inaugural fight is tomorrow for a Christmas Day bloodletting. We have four belts up for grabs in our first fight on the island and we are hoping for a handful of C and B list celebrities tonight in the front row, possible David Arquette, Jeff Lowe from the Tiger King and some YouTube stars that will be canceled in a week are two. But back to the important stuff, the fights.Heavyweight Championship:Keeping with the family affair that Christmas is, in our heavyweight match we got a brother against brother. Ace the younger of the Spade brothers plans to gain some respect from his older brother Jack. Something about always eating last when they were growing up and Jack hogging the PS2 when they were kids. Jack said, “I love Ace we’re family but everyone know he is a momma’s boy and there is a reason he eats at the kids table during the holidays, he is not ready for the big dogs.” Its rumored that Mom and Dad will be at the fight and they will be cheering on Ace, but that is some messed up family dynamics we don’t got time to dig into.Light Heavyweight Championship:We got Conan the Bavarian taking on Leon McClane. Both fighters have similar fighting style, but Leon seems to be the larger fighter which maybe an advantage in what looks to be a slug fest. Conan seemed pretty hyped on weight in day, we will see if that translates to any success in the cage tomorrow.Middleweight Championship:Daniel Submission is hoping to take the fight with Baysangur Usamov to the ground for a quick lesson in BJJ. Baysangur Usamov plans to put Daniel to sleep on his feet before it gets to the ground. Baysangur was heard in the prefight build up saying “He was here to fight not lay on the ground and hug each other, if Daniel wants to do that he can go to grinder not a MMA fight.”Bantamweight ChampionshipDemetrious “Mighty Mouse” Johnson faces of against Kenton “The Kid” Tracks at 135lbs for the belt. The Kid will look to keep this on his feet where he is known for his sharp boxing while Mighty Mouse says he feels comfortable no matter where the fight goes. Not going to lie, both of these kids look like they could use a sandwich, I know I know, the Bantamweight fights are supposed be entertaining but they looked crack thin at the weight-ins, hopefully that doesn’t impact them in the cage.Light Heavyweight FightGero GOI vs Kenritsu Katsuyamakuroda at 205, these are two fighters with a lot of hype behind them for not having competed at the pro level yet. Gera is a well-rounded mix martial artist that seems to be part of the new hybrid fighters coming up that do not specialize in any particular fighting style but gear all their training towards MMA. Kenritsu has a strong wrestling base that he uses to keep the fight on its feet so he can put you to sleep. This will be an interesting fight that can put one of these young fighters in contention for a title shot.Heavyweight Fight:Oliver “OTown” Smith who hopes to keep this one on its feet vs Ned Bouillon, who is a dangerous BJJ brown belt. OTown said, “A lot of these pansies come in here trying to nickel and dime each other with slap boxing, I am going to cash a 50 on his ass, put him to sleep and then take his girl home.” Ned Bouillion seemed to laugh that off stating, “You can’t throw punches when you’re getting choked out….And.jokes on him…I don’t have a girlfriend.” Not going to lie that last part sounded kind of sad but maybe a win tomorrow can get him some luck with the ladies.Heavyweight Fight:Old Leg Tartakov vs Yovko Yovkov not only will give the ring announcers fits trying to pronounce those names but looks to be an interesting fight. Tartakov who was rumored to be on the Slovakia Juniors National team in Jujitsu looks to use his brown belt skills to tap out Yovko. Yovko who is a more rounded MMA fighter says, “I am not impressed with Slovakians BJJ skills and that in Bulgaria they train fighters to win on their feet or on the mat.” And hinted that Tartakov’s one dimensional fighting style will be his downfall, something about its hard to tap someone out when your getting punched in the face. It is hard to say his translator didn’t speak the best English.Bantamweight Fight:At 135lb you have Steven Seagull, not to be confused with the bloated actor Steven Seagal from the 80s and 90s, fighting “El Diablo” Rafael Soto. El Diablo looks to take this fight to the ground and use his superior BJJ skills to end send Seagull back to Detroit with a loss.Light Heavyweight Fight:At 205 we have another BJJ expert, brown belt Jonny “Arm” Bar taking on Kyree Suder. Should be an interesting fight with Kyree being a much stronger wrestler with a Greco Roman and high school wrestling base, but not sure how that will translate into MMA. The old adage that wrestlers don’t like fighting off their backs may come into play here. Kyree joked that Jonny got his brown belt via an online program, but there are numerous tapes of the Arm tapping out dozens of fighters in the Swedish national BJJ tourneys.Heavyweight Fight:We also have Mac Anudo facing off against Adracio Zalasat. Mac is a BJJ expert who stated, “his only real fear is having that tubby shit Zalasat land on him and crush him with his beer gut when he takes him down to choke him out.” Adracio stated that he isn’t fat, that it is fluid muscle on his waist and Mac will know the difference when he feels that power.Looks like a good fight card lined up. We also would like to our sponsors Highland Clothing, the only quality fight apparel provider on the island that 100% guarantees that less than 60% of his merchandize is made in sweat shops, unlike his competitors that average around 90%. We also want to put a shout out to Micro Arena and crackhead Freddy who you will meet outside trying to scalp some overpriced tickets on the second floor of the Micro Arena, which only has one floor.Please note that I am an independent contractor and the beliefs and statements above do not reflect on the management of Vandal Fight Club. That being said, I wanted to put a shout out to Thibodeaux’s Rogues for holding the first official fights of the Island season. I watched the fights and they were pretty good, so good here at Vandal Fight Club we are just going to play our copy of the fights for the audience as our prelim fights.

Welcome to the Smack Talk Central. Since some of you throw punches like Jon Fitch or CM Punk, your words may hit harder. This is the place to call out victims, have fighter interviews, and to basically have real talk and thick skin

Could it be that a bunch of managers made test fighters for the new tourney? And then dropped builds they didn't like. It would explain the 0-1s and 1-0s if they didn't like the hiddens. But there are a lot of 0-0. Just spit balling.

I am in