Guest Posted October 28, 2013 Report Share Posted October 28, 2013 http://i1.cpcache.com/product/857023210/winner_winner_chicken_dinner_design_sticker.jpg?height=225&width=225 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igorbyhenikov Posted October 31, 2013 Report Share Posted October 31, 2013 Latest updates from castor: [23:45] <DanielTUPPKAM> i might get fired from work tomorrow igor[23:45] <igorbyhenikov-> why[23:46] <DanielTUPPKAM> because i have a meeting with the boss[23:47] <DanielTUPPKAM> and im gonna show him our work and how far we come and what we have done and stuff[23:47] <DanielTUPPKAM> what shall i do igor[23:47] <DanielTUPPKAM> im a little worried[23:48] <DanielTUPPKAM> talk about how ive planned this project and shit like that[23:48] <DanielTUPPKAM> what we can do to improve the current situation[23:48] <DanielTUPPKAM> etc[23:48] <igorbyhenikov-> i think you should bail and not to go there[23:48] <igorbyhenikov-> and get fired[23:50] <DanielTUPPKAM> lol but what if im not gonna get fired[23:50] <DanielTUPPKAM> im worried that they are getting suspicious[23:50] <igorbyhenikov-> yeah[23:51] <igorbyhenikov-> you should just bail and they fire you after you havent been there[23:51] <DanielTUPPKAM> i always avoid people, tell them im busy, locked in my office, talking in the phone, when they ask me something i always have to tell them "im busy now ill get back to you on that"[23:51] <igorbyhenikov-> ok[23:51] <DanielTUPPKAM> no im gonna go there[23:52] <DanielTUPPKAM> i get good salary i need the money 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igorbyhenikov Posted October 31, 2013 Report Share Posted October 31, 2013 [00:03] <DanielTUPPKAM> i have a little plan[00:04] <DanielTUPPKAM> if anyone founds out that the MicroBiological Institute has hired some idiot without education who only got the job because of a bunch of lies, these guys would look like clowns[00:05] <DanielTUPPKAM> so my plan is to call a newspaper and offer them this story "hey i know a guy who got a job in the microbiological institute without education, his entire application was a lie, do you want to buy this story from me?" and they will probably ask me "who is this guy?" and i will say "its me" (lmao)[00:06] <DanielTUPPKAM> so i can prove to the newspaper that im working there and get very good money for this story (but thats not my plan) listen to this[00:07] <DanielTUPPKAM> and then i will go to my boss and tell him the truth and tell him that i have a journalist waiting to write this story (and i will blackmail him and go with the highest bidder) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazzypants Posted November 2, 2013 Report Share Posted November 2, 2013 Fucking awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igorbyhenikov Posted November 2, 2013 Report Share Posted November 2, 2013 Alright fellas this is what happened yesterday November 1st 2013 All had gone pretty good at work (a lot *(I mean a lot)* better than I first expected) I swerved everything good, postponing questions, pretending to work, really giving myself in to the role that I was playing ... I felt involved in the project and at a certain point I really felt like a true scientist, perhaps this should have been a warning sign that I took my little scheme a bit too far - It started to be a problem for me, because I got to know these people and I knew one day that they would find out what I had been doing ... I started to feel bad and I knew I had to do something, but what? I got a message from my boss that me and him was gonna have a meeting Friday (1st Nov) around lunchtime (And what he wanted to talk about was how the project was running and if everything was ok and what we were gonna do in the future and how the planned looked and if we were following the schedule as planned etc etc) and I was talking to Vladimirputin in the chat about what to do about this ... The following Scenario happened yesterday (1st November) in my office I was sitting in my office, anxious about what was gonna happen, would this be the day that I would get caught? I started to lose my cool, got nervous, I had a little plan about what to say about work and how it went on and hopefully swerve any questions, I put my glasses on (Too look smarter and to get more credability, I dont use glasses except for this case) and took some deep breaths, looked at my clock and shaked my head knowing that any second now my boss is gonna come and knock at my office door ... 17 minutes later ... *KNOCK KNOCK* Castor - Come in! Boss - Hey Castor, how are you doing? Castor - Im good boss, weve had a lot of work to do this week but we have done a good job but lets be honest, Im really looking forward to the weekend *said that with a little glimpse in the eye and smiled* Boss - Me too! Im going golfing, have to value the last time to do things like this before the winter comes he he ... Castor - I agree ... Alright lets get down to business, whats on your mind today? Boss - I would like to get updates on Everything and if we have met any problems, everything running smoothly? Castor - Its going very well, however this is quite a bad timing for this meeting considering I will get the complete updates later this afternoon, perhaps it would be better for us to have this meeting on monday really but I'll do my best to answer your questions (I tried to indirectly excuse myself with this comment) Boss - Alright I understand, however I need to talk to my boss as well and I have promised him to talk to him this afternoon so I would appreciate if we could get started Castor - (This was one of my lifelines and it did not go so well so now I started to sweat and I lost my words, didnt know what to say, I started to panic) Ehhrrmmm ehrrmm ... Well, any particular questions that you want to have answers to? Boss - You cant start with telling me about the research about Bacteriology ... Tell me what you had to start with and how far we have come in this subject so far ... Castor - (Alright now I was literally frozen, I panicked and I sat there for 10 seconds thinking about what I was gonna answer and what I came up with was) I'll go get Eva and she'll explain this to you this is her department and she has more knowledge about this than I do ... Boss - No ... Surely this is no problem for a person that has specialized in Cellular Microbiology ... Lets get on with it Castor - (I sat there thinking for 10-15 seconds, I cracked, I decided to come clean, and just tell the truth about what I had been doing) I really cant answer that question ... Literally, I cant Boss - Do you have any idea whatsoever about what we are doing here? Castor - No, im fake, I used to work as a chef, I asked my friends why I couldnt get any jobs and they told me to lie in the application, so thats what I did but I guess that I took it one step too far ... Boss - (Now he shakes his head, stared in my eyes with the most disappointed look I have ever seen, he put his hands to his forehead he just look very surprised) You have disgraced our proffession, you have insulted what we do here, you are the most disrespectful person I have ever met, what have you been doing here all that time youve been at work? (He raised his voice a lot *(I mean a lot)* without screaming when he said this) Castor - Playing chess and avoiding people Boss - Im stunned, you owe us a huge apology I demand you to bring the team together and explain this to them and look them in the eyes when you do it ... Castor - OK ... I guess I do, Im sorry, I really am Boss - Sure you are ... Sure ... Alright go get the Team together in the lunchroom, apologize and get out of here, I never want to see you again ever Castor - Alright, but im still gonna get my paycheck right? We have a contract ... I still want to get paid for the hours that I have worked Boss - (Looked even angrier but said) Yes you will still get your paycheck for the hours you have been "working" (And he did the " sign with his hands) Castor - I'll get on with the apologies now Alright, at this point they had caught me but I was pretty happy that this was finally over, I guess I went swimming on to deep water and I messed up, a huge rock fell from my chest now all I had to do was apologize and get out of there, I hanged my head in shame and walked out the office and gathered the group together ... Castor - Alright listen, I have got something very important to tell you, I will not be working here anymore in the future, I am a fake, I have never set my foot in a lab before I came here. I used to work as a chef, im a liar, I have let you down, disgraced your proffession and I deserve every single bad comment that you have got for me ... Im sorry, but I guess my words doesnt count for much now, I dont know what else to say (They look shocked, because I had been very friendly and a nice guy there and I got some good contact with several of them, joking around and stuff like that, they liked me) Nobody said a thing, they were either looking at each other or me, everyone was lost for words, they couldnt believe that this was true, some of them just walked out the room others sat there scratching their heads and I got some bad comments (That I really deserved) about what a bad person I am and about how important their work is and I have just totally disrespected them and their proffession ... My head hanged in shame as I took my belongings out from the office and walked out of there ... But still, it felt good, I drowned my sorrows in some Baklawa (Middle Eastern Dessert with sugar, nuts, flour, butter) and went home ... I guess life goes on and I wish that they do succeed with whatever theyre doing there in the lab and in the future Im not gonna lie as much in my job applications, so I guess I have learned something from this as well ... Have a nice weekend guys / Castor 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 2, 2013 Report Share Posted November 2, 2013 Funny story. We should write a scenario of it and sell it to Hollywood. I can take care of it, I'll give ya 15% of profit from selling a scenario, deal Castor? Bragi~ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 I find this amusing yet sad at the same time. For a guy to make up multiple lies and constantly believe them is just a sad thing to see. Poor guy. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 Man you are hilarious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FatBoy Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 I'm late to the party, but just sat and read all of this. Absolutely hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 I have been thoroughly entertained by this tale. Thanks for sharing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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