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If you were an MMATycoon fighter


PSUMike

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5'9" 143

29

Boxing: Feeble

Muay Thai: Feeble

Wrestling: Useless

Jiu Jitsu: Blue Belt (Woeful++) just got my Blue Belt a couple of weeks back after 3 years++ of training

 

Punches: Competent

Kicks: Feeble

Elbows: Mediocre

Knees: Feeble

Clinchwork: Mediocre

Striking Defense: Abyssmal

Ground and Pound: Mediocre

Takedown Offense: Mediocre

Takedown Defense: Feeble

Submissions: Respectable

Submission Defense: Competent

 

Agility: Mediocre

Flex: Proficient (foot in ear can be done easily)

Speed: Mediocre

Strength: Feeble

Conditioning: Proficient

Balance: Competent

 

3 Hidden

Big Heart

Solid Chin

Experienced (well with BJJ Gi competetions... i tend to not join no-Gi events)

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6'1" 185

 

Boxing: Non-existent

Muay Thai: Where?

Wrestling: Totally useless (I've seen some WWE in TV tho)

Jiu Jitsu: Black belt (I have never trained BJJ in my life. I bought a bjj black belt to impress the girls. I might go for the cauliflower ears too.)

 

Punches: Tbh, if I yell out loud it hurst more than if I punch you.

Kicks: Only kicks I have done in my life was in the swimming pool. I survived!

Elbows: Two

Knees: Bad

Clinchwork: Useless against male opponents. Pretty good with girls tho.

Striking Defense: Hit me in the ears. I wanna have cauliflowers!

Ground and Pound: If you're a girl: Yes please.

Takedown Offense: None.

Takedown Defense: Feeble. I run pretty fast I kid you not.

Submissions: Not good. I once kimura'd myself.

Submission Defense: Read above.

 

Agility: Huh?

Flex: Abysmal (I once pulled my groin when I tried to tie my shoes.)

Speed: Light-speed.

Strength: I have the keyboard warriors strength: I got exhausted typing this nonsense.

Conditioning: Read above.

Balance: Suprisingly gets better when Im drunk.

 

3 Hidden

-Massive hangovers

-I can read minds

-I haz a cheeseburger.

 

Sorry about this post. Im suffering from the first hidden attribute I possess and Im tired as hell. Hope someone even smiled a bit. ;D

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186 cm, 81 kg

 

Boxing: Useless

Muay Thai: Useless

Wrestling: Feeble (Wrestled for 3 years, I lacked skill but still won bronze medal from major national competion - Got good CV, but bad on practice)

Jiu-jitsu: Abysmal (I have done submission wrestling 100% freestyle for two summers)

 

Punches: Useless

Kicks: Abysmal

Elbows: Useless

Knees: Abysmal

Clinchwork: Abysmal (I wrestle poorly standing up)

Striking Defense: Useless

Ground and Pound: Useless

Takedown Offense: Feeble

Takedown Defense: Feeble

Submissions: Woeful

Defensive grappling: Feeble

 

Agility: Useless

Flex: Useless

Speed: Useless

Strength: Abysmal

Conditioning: Proficient

Balance: Useless

 

3 hidden:

Sporting

Tries tricks

Slow learner

 

Also:

Injured for 6+something months (osteolysis in right shoulder).

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I know this was a joke, but no you don't. It hurts like a bitch when you first get it.

Yeah I know. I actually practice BJJ and Muay Thai irl. I was just bored out of my mind at the work when I typed that sucky post of mine. :baaasmiley:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Uhm..okay, here's the sad part:

 

195 cm, 100 kg

 

Boxing: Abysmal

Muay Thai: Abysmal

Wrestling: Abysmal

Jiu-jitsu: Useless

 

Punches: Feeble

Kicks: Feeble

Elbows: Abysmal

Knees: Woeful

Clinchwork: Woeful

Striking Defense: Abysmal

Ground and Pound: Woeful

Takedown Offense: Woeful

Takedown Defense: Mediocre

Submissions: Useless

Defensive grappling: Abysmal

 

Agility: Abysmal

Flexibility: Mediocre

Speed: Abysmal

Strength: Feeble

Conditioning: Woeful

Balance: Woeful

 

Hidden:

Inexperienced

Basic striking

Plays chess

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5'11 155lbs 16 years old

Boxing: woeful

Muay Thai: woeful

Wrestling: feeble

Jiu Jitsu: respectable

Punches:useless

Kicks: if i get you in the groin there wonderful anywhere else useless

Elbows: never thrown one

Knees: can never remember to use them

Clinchwork: competent

Striking Defense: i protect my face ok but my body always gets killed

Ground and Pound: i know how to punch ppl in the face when i'm on top of them

Takedown Offense: respectable

Takedown Defense: feeble

Submissions: strong

Submission Defense: respectable

 

Agility: pretty good

Flex: mediocre

Speed: remarkable

Strength: respectable

Conditioning: strong

Balance: horrible

 

3 Hidden

learn fast

cut easily especially in the mouth i have braces

i fight dirty lol

 

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5'11 155lbs 16 years old

Boxing: woeful

Muay Thai: woeful

Wrestling: feeble

Jiu Jitsu: respectable

Punches:useless

Kicks: if i get you in the groin there wonderful anywhere else useless

Elbows: never thrown one

Knees: can never remember to use them

Clinchwork: competent

Striking Defense: i protect my face ok but my body always gets killed

Ground and Pound: i know how to punch ppl in the face when i'm on top of them

Takedown Offense: respectable

Takedown Defense: feeble

Submissions: strong

Submission Defense: respectable

 

Agility: pretty good

Flex: mediocre

Speed: remarkable

Strength: respectable

Conditioning: strong

Balance: horrible

 

3 Hidden

learn fast

cut easily especially in the mouth i have braces

i fight dirty lol

 

One more hidden: Picks very original names

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6'1'' 195(can cut to 185 or 170) 22 yrs old

Boxing: woeful

Muay Thai: competent

Wrestling: competent

Jiu Jitsu: blue belt

Punches:mediocre

Kicks: respectable

Elbows: competent

Knees: respectable

Clinchwork: competent

Striking Defense: woeful

Ground and Pound: woeful

Takedown Offense: woeful

Takedown Defense: competent

Submissions: mediocre

Submission Defense: respectable

 

Agility: competent

Flex: useless

Speed: mediocre

Strength: competent

Conditioning: respectable

Balance: competent

 

3 Hidden:

Fast learner

Strong chin

Lots of heart

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  • 6 months later...

5'5" 145 lbs

24 years old

 

Boxing - Feeble

Muay Thai - Feeble

Wrestling - Feeble

BJJ - White Belt

 

Punches - Respectable

Kicks - Competent

Elbows - Feeble

Knees - Mediocre

Clinchwork - Feeble

Striking Defense - Feeble

Ground and Pound - Competent

Takedown Offense - Woeful

Takedown Defense - Feeble

Submissions - Abysmal

Defensive Grappling - Abysmal

 

Agility - Proficient

Flexibility - Competent

Speed - Respectable

Strength - Mediocre

Conditioning - Mediocre

Balance - Competent

 

3 Hiddens

Big Heart

Fast Learner

Knows how to adapt to gameplan

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5'9"

165lbs (cut to 155lbs)

 

Boxing: Wonderful (Trained for years, but no amateur fights)

Muay Thai: Abysmal (Got swept onto my ass by a Muay Thai guy, what a valuable lesson)

Wrestling: Respectable (Fucked around for years)

Jiu Jitsu: White Belt (Rolled with some fucks)

 

Punches:Sensational

Kicks: Abysmal

Elbows: Abysmal

Knees: Abysmal

Clinchwork: Abysmal

Striking Defense: Sensational (Hardly ever get hit...had a whole fight where the dude was only able to land a punch on my shoulder.)

Ground and Pound: Strong

Takedown Offense: Respectable

Takedown Defense: Remarkable (Always wrestled trained wrestlers or non trained wrestlers that were heavier than me, they could never get me down.)

Submissions: Mediocre (Guillotine and RNC on several motherfuckers)

Submission Defense: Mediocre

 

Agility: Exceptional (Great at most sports; i can throw a combo of 3 punches while the fucker throws a single punch.)

Flex: Competent (I can scratch all parts of my back)

Speed: Exceptional (Fast as fuck)

Strength: Wonderful (for my weight 80 push-ups non-stop)

Conditioning: Woeful (Smoker; Camel Crush)

Balance: Exceptional (Great at most sports)

 

3 Hidden:

Fast learner (IQ 140+)

KO Power (Knocked a guy unconscious with 2 hits...left hook, straight right...then another straight right as he was falling down the wall.)

Lots of heart (Most recent incident got hit on a head with a bottle...see above)

 

Special hidden: Is a Popular Fighter (Made out with 7 chicks in one night)

 

maybe i'm a narcissist.

 

BTW i never started any of these fights...I'm a hero. I am a bully's worst nightmare.

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Fun idea.

Look at my fighters and look at "me." Notice anything?

 

68"

156lbs (Avatar is of me after weighing in at 143.5 earlier that night)

26 years old

 

Boxing - Useless

Muay Thai - Useless

Wrestling - Mediocre

BJJ - Blue Belt

 

Punches - Useless

Kicks - Mediocre

Elbows - Useless

Knees - Useless

Clinchwork - Mediocre

Striking Defense - Useless

Ground and Pound - Feeble

Takedown Offense - Competent

Takedown Defense - Feeble

Submissions - Proficient

Defensive Grappling - Wonderful

 

Agility - Respectable

Flexibility - Mediocre

Speed - Proficient

Strength - Strong

Conditioning - Superb

Balance - Respectable

 

3 Hiddens:

Is a fast learner

Is very self confident

Is a popular fighter

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5'8" 205

29

Boxing: Useless

Muay Thai: Useless

Wrestling: Woeful

Jiu Jitsu: Purple Belt

 

Punches: Useless

Kicks: Feeble

Elbows: Useless

Knees: Useless

Clinchwork: Useless

Striking Defense: Woeful

Ground and Pound: Feeble

Takedown Offense: Woeful

Takedown Defense: Useless

Submissions: Competent

Submission Defense: Competent

 

Agility: Feeble

Flex: Woeful

Speed: Feeble

Strength: Competent

Conditioning: Below Useless

Balance: Respectable

 

Good Chin

Heavy Hands

Experienced

 

 

I'm the least legit purple belt you will ever meet. First off I trained in a strip mall, it was litterally the most shittiest dojo you have ever seen in your life and my trainer had probably never been out of the country let alone to brazil. I was pretty much handed my purple belt because I had been training for like five years and I think they just kind of felt bad for me.

I pretty much left after my purple because I was never going to make it to brown.

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this is fun

 

5'7" 190lbs

24 years old

 

Boxing - feeble

Muay Thai - abysmal

Wrestling - feeble

BJJ - White Belt

krav maga - competent

 

 

Punches - competent

Kicks - useles

Elbows - Woeful

Knees - useles

Clinchwork - competent

Striking Defense - absymal(bad reflexes)

Ground and Pound - feeble

Takedown Offense - feeble

Takedown Defense - feeble

Submissions - feeble

Defensive Grappling - competent

 

Agility - absymal

Flexibility - absymal

Speed - absymal

Strength - respectable

Conditioning - Useless

Balance - absymal

 

hiddens

dirty fighter

fast learner

unpredictable (like gilbert yvel)

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5'10" 196lbs

30 years old

 

Boxing - Adequate

Muay Thai - Woeful

Wrestling - Mediocre

BJJ - White Belt (probably woeful)

 

Punches - Strong

Kicks - Woeful

Elbows - Mediocre

Knees - Mediocre

Clinchwork - Mediocre

Striking Defense - Strong (presuming curl up in a ball counts)

Ground and Pound - Abysmal

Takedown Offense - Decent

Takedown Defense - Woeful

Submissions - Woeful

Defensive Grappling - Mediocre

 

Agility - Competent

Flexibility - Abysmal

Speed - Decent

Strength - Decent

Conditioning - Strong

Balance - Woeful

 

3 Hiddens:

Fast Learner

Good In Bed

Plays Chess

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Me

6'5'" 240lbs

22 years old

 

Boxing - Competent

Muay Thai - Woeful

Wrestling - Mediocre

BJJ - White Belt

 

Punches - Respectable

Kicks - Competent

Elbows - Competent

Knees - Feeble

Clinchwork - Feeble

Striking Defense - Mediocre

Ground and Pound - Feeble

Takedown Offense - Competent

Takedown Defense - Mediocre

Submissions - Useless

Defensive Grappling - Feeble

 

Agility - Mediocre

Flexibility - Feeble

Speed - Woeful

Strength - Mediocre

Conditioning - Feeble

Balance - Mediocre

 

3 Hiddens:

Granite Chin

Big Heart

Self confidence

 

I started training kick boxing about a year ago now and did a little judo in the past. I wrestled and played football in highschool and played Rugby in Highschool, College and County (inner city)

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I may as well get into this too :P

 

Me

6' 215lbs

20 years old

 

Boxing - Woeful

Muay Thai - Competent

Wrestling - Mediocre

BJJ - Blue Belt (Where I train it was exclusively no-gi and tailored to MMA so we didn't actually have belts, but the one time a blue belt came through - about the same size as me, a little smaller - we were fairly even)

 

Punches - Mediocre

Kicks - Competent (so long as they are low kicks!)

Elbows - Proficient

Knees - Strong

Clinchwork - Respectable

Striking Defense - Feeble (I have horrible depth perception so I don't always avoid strikes that well ha)

Ground and Pound - Respectable

Takedown Offense - Mediocre (Good double leg and trips, but my judo sucks)

Takedown Defense - Competent (Great sprawl but once again, my judo sucks :P)

Submissions - Proficient

Defensive Grappling - Respectable

 

Agility - Feeble

Flexibility - Competent (Great flexibility as it pertains to BJJ, but I throw horrible high kicks)

Speed - Woeful

Strength - Strong

Conditioning - Mediocre

Balance - Feeble

 

3 Hiddens:

Intelligent

Big Heart

Fast Learner

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