Haraksha

Gary Kaigax: That's a lot of MDC talk for a guy living in an SDC world. You're still playing with source book 1 and I'm all the way through the Megaverse. You certainly have spent a lot of time bantering. I've spent that same time winning. Come this clash of titans, my AC is going to be way too high for you to penetrate, but my crit range is about as wide as your ass is going to be when I'm done ramming my dice case up it.

Gary Kaigax: I weighed 280 pounds at fight time, the same I weighed in my superheavy wins, which I remind you knocked a heavily favored opponent straight out of the division. I'm saying that I don't need to change my game. It's already perfect.

Gary Kaigax: I'd like to dedicate this win to Andrew Trill. He felt the need to mock my lack of submissions so I decided to slap on a kimura tonight. I've got something special waiting for when I finally get on top of you.

Gary Kaigax, coming off a brutal first round knockout of Masaaki Shikuk, is preparing for a challenge from up-and-comer Jatoshi "Toshi" Kazukaba. We at Best of the Middle[/i] magazine sat down with Gary during one of his legendary training sessions.[/i] Best of the Middle: Tell us Mr. Kaigax, what has your training been like for this fight? Gary Kaigax: Well, it's been intense. For a brief period, I thought I would be jumping weight to take on Andrew Trill in a true battle of honor, but DIFO put an end to that. Anyway, I'll be coming in pretty big for this fight because of that. I'll probably just barely make weight, but it's nothing to be concerned about. BOTM: Tell us about the feud with Andrew Trill and why DIFO put an end to that fight. GK: Well, they didn't put an end to that fight. They just put it on hold. They want us to focus on our respective weight classes for the time being, and assuming we keep relevant, we'll get a super fight down the road. BOTM: It seems a little ridiculous to be throwing around words like super fight this early, don't you think? GK: Every fight with me is a super fight. Sometimes the competition just doesn't realize it. BOTM: And this fight with Toshi, this is a super fight? GK: I guarantee it will be on every highlight real for the next decade. This will go down as the fight where everyone knew that I was the future of this division. BOTM: But this is only your first fight at this division. GK: Legends have to start somewhere. Unfortunately for Toshi, my legend starts with him waking up in a hospital. He's just lucky I can't bring my +9 boots of Newb Kicking into the cage. I'll have to make do with my natural strength bonus. BOTM: Well, I look forward to seeing fireworks this weekend. GK: Wizards make fireworks. The Dungeon Master makes corpses.

I have always felt that Mickey was a cherry poptart because he is pink and gooey. And don't even get me started on the frosting.

Alright, Kaigax respects the promotion's wishes and will stay at Heavyweight for the time being. I am going to mess some guys up there for sure.

The last thing I pulled out of was your mom.

I haven't confirmed this with Gary, but I'm pretty sure we'll take the fight. He's busy with a Battletech campaign and hates to be disturbed. Kaigax likes to keep people guessing. How do you gameplan for a guy that has deadly fists and an unknown ground game? If you get lucky, you'll crit fail right into a double KO.

There's only post or don't post. You don't get a trial run in my dungeon.

From Gary Kaigax's Blog "Forgutten Realms: Tales of the Super Heavy" Andrew Trill thinks he can step into my cage. They call me the Dungeon Master for a reason. I set the DC. It doesn't matter how high you roll, I am going to modify your rolls all over your face. Heavyweight, Super Heavy, Lightweight, it doesn't matter. My trunks give me a +1 to balls, and my gloves a +2 to beating your ass. I am Kaigax. I am God.

From Gary Kaigax's Twitter: -Ain't no one at 265 wants to get into the ring with the Dungeon Master -Seriously, guys, I need a fight -I will honestly fight a hobo if it means I get a fight at 265 soon

He's a good fighter. I am proud to be ranked against him. Mr. Kaigax accepted your challenge, but I advised against taking that fight because I would like him to continue winning, plus he dropped down to 265.

In our weekly feature Big Men, Small Cage, James Oliver Rigney, Jr. sits down with "The Dungeon Master" Gary Kaigax following his spectacular knockout of rival Masaaki Shikuk. James Oliver Rigney, Jr: First, congratulations on the win. You'd just dropped three in a row, and your future with the company was doubtful. Gary Kaigax: I want to say that DIFO has been great to me, and I am very thankful for all the opportunities they have given me. They asked me to prove myself on this last card, they wanted to make sure I had something to offer the organization, and I did, and I do. JORJR: Have they extended your contract? GK: After that knockout, how could they not? JORJR: Alright, how about you walk us through the fight. GK: It's actually really interesting, you know? I'm in a six way tie for the fastest knockout in DIFO history. You've got Andrew Till over Bob Forest at Thrasher, Andrew Till again over Tubby Potbelly at Comfortably Numb where I also got my KO, George Hagler over Kevin Suzuki at Highwayman, and on the Spreading the Disease card Benjamin Foster knocked the hell out of Tommy John. I made my debut at Spreading the Disease, and right after that win I wanted to do something as spectacular as Foster did. JORJR: That was only four other knockouts. You said it was a six way tie. GK: I did, but I wanted to make sure to rub this in. The last knockout was at Coma, of all cards, where Cool McCold dropped Masaaki like a bag of mulch. Yeah, Masaaki now accounts for one third of the receiving end of the fastest knockouts in DIFO history. That's what I based my gameplan on. I knew he didn't have much of a chin, and his boxing is lousy regardless of what he says, so I came out less technical and more flashy than he trains for. Masaaki's chin is worse than Arlovski's. If you want to see a double KO, maybe DIFO can schedule that fight next. JORJR: Come on now, have a little respect for the guy. His record is still better than yours. GK: And what's that mean exactly? He admitted to taking the fight knowing that a win over me wouldn't do much for him other than give his record a slight boost. Did you see the odds for this fight? No one thought I was going to win. The guy's record is obviously more padded than an Asian girl's bra. JORJR: I don't know Gary, you're acting as if the grudge between you guys wasn't motivating factor enough. You two have been hyping this fight for awhile. Masaaki really had nothing to gain from this fight, but for you it was really do or die. I mean, his honor was on the line, what do you say about that? GK: Look at it this way James. Had the fight happened when I first called him out and we were both coming off of wins, then it would have been about honor. Had it happened after my first loss, it still would have been legit because he was losing too. But after that, I kept losing, and he kept winning. He wanted a quick win over a scrub, had a storyline to justify it, and jumped at the chance to raise his own star. Only, it backfired on him. The guy's in the hospital, and he should seriously rethink his career. JORJR: You talk quite candidly about the condition your career was in going into this fight. Why do you think you've been doing so poorly? GK: First, I was at a rather lousy gym. I've always mostly trained myself, so I didn't know how important a good training camp was. I've since joined up with The Dragon's Lair, and I'm improving every day with those guys. Besides that, I guess I really was obsessed with this fight. Masaaki needed to be shutup. That's all I've been able to think about going into every fight. Now that I've accomplished that, I've got nothing else holding me back. No mental barriers, you know? It's full steam ahead, and I'm going for the belt. JORJR: What would you have done had you lost this fight? GK: Well, I like to think of myself as less of a fighter and more of an entertainer, you know? I make things interesting. I keep things exciting. I think DIFO will always have a place for a guy like that. JORJR: Well, I can't disagree with that. Thanks for talking with us Gary. GK: Not a problem. And remember, if you step into my dungeon, you're going to get schooled.

Gary Kaigax: Never, ever doubt the Dungeon Master. You tried to play my game, and you lost.

Gary Kaigax: That is the one thing you should never say to your Dungeon Master.

Gary "The Dungon Master" Kaigax: My master plan is finally in place. Masaaki's career will be finished when he's toasted by a 1-3 guy.

Gary Kaigax: Now I am torn because on the one hand I want my friend and lover to win but on the other he never tells me sweet things anymore.

Gary Kaigax: If I win my next four fights, and you manage to beat Mickie, and you then go onto a losing streak, I may have to lay on you for a few rounds.

I am sorry but our love cannot be contained.

Gary Gaigax: I would just like to add that Mickey is a very tender lover despite the bluster in his previous comments. Though, officially in our relationship, he is the "girlfriend", but he's right in that I do love doing shots and lines. We have taken home other "women", if you know what I mean.

Excerpts from Gary Kaigax's Twitter updates -I'm in gret shape comign off that lss. Back at the gym alredy. Twit you later -Tlking to DIFO about upcoming fight, i need a win, lololol -ima boot to fight Dave Aboott. Title shot confirmed if I win (JK, LMAO) -Masaaki talking shiiiiiate. rofl 3-2 vs 1-2, I gots this Oneee -I love Twinkies.

Gary "The Dungeon Master Kaigax provided a brief interview on the "We Think MMA is Pretty Cool Podcast" with Robert Eval. Robert Eval: Talk us through your last fight. Gary Kaigax: A guy with better wrestling than me dove for a double leg. He then arm triangled me. RE: Is this how you envisioned the fight taking place? GK: No. I thought for sure that he was going to knock me out. My whole game plan was focused around leaving my chin exposed. RE: Hey, no need to get sarcastic. GK: How the hell did you expect me to respond? 'No, Mr. Eval. Losing by a rather difficult submission to finish in the first minute of the fight isn't quite how I thought things would go.' RE: Alright, then. What could you have done differently? GK: I could have won. That would have been a better way to go about things. RE: Yes, I suppose that's true. How will you go about that in your next fight? GK: I am going to sneak my dice case into the cage and I am going to shove D20s down my next opponent's throat while shouting, "Stop critting yourself! Stop critting yourself!" over and over. RE: I take it you aren't dealing with this loss well.... GK: What would give you that impression? No, I'm perfectly cheery. I'm back at the gym training my dice chucking skills full time. I am up to a 60% hit rate on any dice with more than 6 sides. Those little pyramid ones give me a hard time, but I think their shape will allow them to get lodged in the throat much easier. Yeah, that's basically all I'm working on these days. RE: That's, um, interesting Mr. Kaigax... ...No, I will not turn your mic back on. Thank you.

Gary Kaigax: A Legend in His Own Eyes Writers with Fight Style magazine caught up with the Dungeon Master during his training for his upcoming bout against fellow heavyweight Ryoto Mishima. With an almost pained look, Kaigax throws back the heavy bag he's been working combinations on. As it swings back to him, he stops it with his hands and face. He clings to it for a minute, while breathing heavily and muttering to himself. A clenched fist gives it a few half-hearted strikes before he breaks away. He grabs a nearby towel and dries his hair and face. "I just want this so bad," he says. It's hard to tell if he's trying to convince us or himself. "Losing is never easy. I felt like my star was rising and nothing could stop me. I guess it burned to bright, know what I mean?" We're not sure, but he doesn't give us time to comment on it. He's now on the stationary bike talking himself through a cardio routine. "You can do this. You are a warrior. You are the Dungeon Master. He's playing your game, now. He's in your world." He's referring to 1-1 heavyweight Ryoto Mishima, a 22 year old from Tokyo also looking to rebound after a devastating first round loss. Kaigax sees redemption in a win over "The Mountain". "He's just a guy, and I'll break him. I don't think this guy wants to be a fighter. I don't think this guy can go all the way. I'm pushing myself, do you hear me?" he shouts. "I'm pushing myself!" He punches a wall to punctuate his point. The force knocks the lid off a trashcan leaning against it. Kaigax quickly replaces the lid to hide the pile of Mountain Dew cans and empty Cheeto bags. "After this fight? I don't even care. I just need to win. That's what undid me before. I was running for the belt before I had earned my place in this organization. The way I plan on winning this, no one will forget my name." He smiles and we see that fire from after his win over Bo Robertson for the first time. "But I haven't forgotten you Masaaki. The Dungeon Master never forgets."