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gwad12345

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Posts posted by gwad12345

  5. League of Madness 3 "Midgets and Monsters"

    in Tournaments

    Posted

    ALFRED'S KAMPF

    Chapter 4: Indoctrination

    Based on shocking testimony from a inside source, we delve into the origin and innerworkings of Alfredmacht.

    As soon as his conscription was complete, Alfred, hand in hand (literally), with top Commandant Christopher Karter, systematically set about brainwashing his recruits (henceforth referred to as victims) to fit his reprehensible worldview.

    Our source tells us that the harrowing ordeal began with listening to several hours of Kanye West over a loudspeaker followed by a three-hour lecture by Commandant Karter exploring in minute detail Herr Nick Fuentes’ opinion that sex with women is gay, before concluding largely sympathetic to Fuentes' view (or, as Karter put it, at least in the case of biological women). Afterward commenced a series of menial mental and physical tasks designed to break the spirit of even the most resolute among them.

    Upon completion of the curriculum, victims had only to clear a mandatory prostate exam (two in the case of Mannetosen who insisted not to have been confident in the results of the first) before goosestepping into full membership of the perfidious organization.

    Rumors of sexual improprieties against the victims during the indoctrination process could not be corroborated but leaked images of the Fuhrer and Commandant Karter salivating as victims are seen practicing the downward dog have done little to dampen suspicions. One also wonders if ‘thou doth protest too much’ as members of Alfred’s camp hurl baseless accusations against Team GWad and inexplicably denigrate the good name of the greatest president in American history, Joseph Robinette Biden.

    The end result is clear as day. Their scientifically developed curriculum has, for reasons not yet fully understood, successfully erased victims’ command of English and transformed previously sound minds into mush.

    The world waits with bated breath to see if, once GWad has secured the unconditional surrender of Alfred and his top Commandant, there’s any chance at rehabilitation for the victims.

    • Upvote 5

  8. League of Madness 3 "Midgets and Monsters"

    in Tournaments

    Posted

    1 hour ago, Alfred said:

    ALFRED'S KAMPF

    Chapter 3: Die Dezimierung der Liebe

    Sometimes we have to do things that are not nice in order for things to be better.

    I received intelligence early on that the far left communist pig Gwad had been observed to be rather close with another from his camp. Further reconnaissance revealed that not only was this other person shockingly of adult age but that it was none other than his second in command Billy Arseworth. On my orders, my scouts remained in place for many days and observed from safe distance. After they had collected enough info they returned back with all the deep and dirty doings of this unholy coupling. One thing was immediately apparent; this was no mere fleeting fling, no sir! This was love. The real thing.

    smiling-male-gay-couple-drinking-wine-wh

    As soon as I had finished reading all the details of this touching, tender love affair, my stomach knotted in anticipating of what must be done. How could I be so callous though? Could I really stoop so low as to destroy the deep love of these two men? Was this proof that communists were able to form actual consensual relationships? I shook the thoughts out of my mind. It didn’t matter. The path ahead was clear. I called for my hired assassin known as the Red Shinobi.

    My meeting with the Red Shinobi was brief. He brought along his young charge Dante McGinley who just stood there menacingly whilst staring daggers into nothing much at all. The Red Shinobi smiled widely as I told him my plans to demoralise camp Gwad by taking out their leaders lover. He told me to consider it done. And it was.

    On the day, McGinley punished the poor heavily oiled and scantily clad young Asian boy that the degenerate Billy Arseworth had put forward for battle. And I’m here to tell you that it was no fight, indeed it was a massacre. One that Arseworth and Gwad seemed to be enjoying rather too much if you ask me. Shrieks of joy sounded from their direction as the sickening thuds of McGinley’s shins connecting with Namkhai’s thighs shook the building. Giggles of delight as McGinley gigantic iron fist made odd shapes of Namkhai’s skull. In the end, Arseworth could even be seen squirming in ecstasy as Gwad pinched his nipples while a battered Namkhai fell to his knees and the traumatised referee jumped in to put an end to the barbarism.

    They were so happy. Happy, that is, until the realisation of what this meant took hold of them. Then the panic. Oh, the desperate look of panic and shock slapped across their faces as they realised they would now be parted! Their great love affair was now over for Gwad’s right hand man Billy Arseworth would be sent away from the tournament for good. Eliminated from the competition and eliminated from Gwad’s bed. A massive blow to their campaign of evil though at some great cost to love.

    Though topping this result would have been damn near impossible, our second victory was still rather exquisite. Dirty Panda hating treacherous slime Dildo the Manager and his Viking LARPer friend Adrian Karlsson were dispatched within one round by our brave and noble warrior Gaston “SHIG Heil” Juncker and his manager Verrücktes Pferd. You may recall at the start of the tournament, Dildo had the chance to save himself from the disgusting clutches of Team Gwad and be re-united with his then Panda alliance mates who had joined the forces of good. Clearly the promise of debauched sauna orgies was too much for a degenerate such as he to deny and he not only abandoned his Panda pals but declined the opportunity to join the winning team as well. A fool for sure but what can you do?

    Wer sich mit Hunden hinlegt, steht mit Flöhen auf

    Nothing will end GWad and Billy's great love affair. Not your jackboots, not your gas chambers. Nothing.

    • Like 3
    • Upvote 2

  11. Synchronicity's Face/Off - Official Smack Talk Thread

    in Fight Organizations

    Posted

    On 12/7/2022 at 5:17 PM, Rambo said:

    Joe did the unthinkable. He bested Winston Todd, not once, but twice, proving it no fluke. However, controversy be damned, GWad and Billy were spotted on a romantic evening together sharing wine and escargot before the fights, leading many to speculate that the fight had been fixed, or Billy used his Aussie charm to woo GWad away from setting sliders.

    Really should have Midnight Express'ed him when I had the chance.

    • Upvote 1

  13. League of Madness 3 "Midgets and Monsters"

    in Tournaments

    Posted

    5 hours ago, CelticStryder said:

    You know what a tourney this size is missing???? Some sweat ass gear to outfit these fighters properly......

    TEAM GWAD

    mnl6ap1.jpg

    TEAM ALFRED

    laoQby8.jpg

    Final details and designs will but released in the next day or two including a link to purchase. If you would like to reserve some stock for your fighter send me a PM in game and let me know how many you need so I can order accordingly. First come first serve. 

    Glorious. The Alf-right are gonna whine and cry but what can you do.

    • Upvote 2

  18. League of Madness 3 "Midgets and Monsters"

    in Tournaments

    Posted

    7 hours ago, Mannetosen said:

    Tosen's Home for Lost Boys in Rio de Janeiro is considered one of the greatest gyms in MMA history. It's also considered an important hub for the South American drug and human trafficking trade. Despite joint efforts by INTERPOL and several national police organizations, though, it has somehow never been closed down.

    This is largely due to its owner, Mañuel Tosen. This bizarrely named Norwegian is a long-time core member of the infamous Convicted Inc crime syndicate, and has risen up as its leader in recent years. Tosen's ascension to the top of the crime world has left a trail of dead politicians, missing mob leaders and crying Thai men in its wake.

    As I'm escorted through the dimly lit gym area, walking past rows of sweating, grunting, interchangable goons hitting heavy bags, I remind myself that I'm not here to discuss Tosen's connections to organized crime. Instead, I've been sent all the way to Rio to cover a goddamn rookie MMA tournament. Being a junior journalist sucks sometimes.

    After being lead through a large metal door that'd look more at home in a Soviet bomb shelter than an MMA gym, I find myself face to face with Tosen. He is a large, blond man of indeterminable age. Despite having managed top level MMA fighters for well over 60 years, he still appears to be in his 30s. This has spawned rumors about everything from stem cells to PED abuse to Satanic blood orgies. Regardless, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to ask him about the LOM tournament.

    "So, mr. Tosen, I--"

    "Please, call me Manny. Everyone does."

    "Okay, well. Mr. To-- I mean Manny, thanks for having me."

    Tosen absent-mindedly waves his hand in the air, as if to tell me to get the pleasantries over with.

    "Ahem, anyways. You always seem to find yourself in creation tournaments lately, don't you? This one you didn't even sign up for, haha."

    Tosen glares at me.

    "Is this a fluff piece or something?"

    "No, sir, I'm just trying to--"

    "You're gonna ask me to talk to you about my childhood, is that it? Tell you how walking in the woods gave me my life back? Pose in front of a blow-up airplane with the text 'Ready for Take-off' grafted onto it, is that it?"

    "I'm just trying to ask you about LOM, sir."

    "Oh yeah. That. Alfred had some guy flake out at the last minute and asked me to fill in alongside my boy Chris. Fortunately, the extended Cheese family were visiting Charles Eric, so I pretty much had my pick of the litter."

    "So you're saying that you're just throwing some untrained schlub into the wood chipper? That hardly seems ethical."

    "Listen, dipshit. One month of training with me is worth more than a lifetime of training with those sacks of shit on Team Gwad."

    "Hold on, Manny. Gwad is a very acco--"

    "He's literally a monkey with a typewriter. He only managed to produce a top fighter due to the sheer power of persistence. Throw enough shit at the wall and all that."

    "Doesn't he have a winning record against you?"

    "What did you say?"

    "Uh, nothing sir."

    "That's what I thought. And one more thing: There's been some young upstart chatting all sorts of shit in the lead-up to LOM. King of Consent I think he's called. That's the name of a rapist if I've ever heard one."

    "Speaking of libel and slander, give us your thoughts about the allegations about Alfred Winterbottom being a literal, goose-stepping Nazi."

    "I'm thinking I've had enough of your lip. Mr. Schaubi, take him outside and drown him please."

    A large, grotesque creature lurches out of the shadows and towards me. He's holding a glass of something that smells like terpentine in one hand, and is furiously rubbing his legs and crotch with the other. He mumbles something incomprehensible to me, but I can only make out that he seems to be calling me 'b'.

    The beast grabs me by the arm and starts dragging me out of the gym. He's very strong. Desperately, I start flailing my limbs. One of my fingers gently graze his chin, and he crumples into an unconscious heap. Equal parts perplexed and filled with adrenaline, I disappear into the night.

    Lamestream media lackey. He didn't ask the real question on everyone's mind which is of course: Kill Alfred?

  20. League of Madness 3 "Midgets and Monsters"

    in Tournaments

    Posted

    THE GWAD POST

    Covering all things GWad

     

    A hush falls over the teeming crowd as out from the convoy of limos that rolls up to the stage pops… can it really be? Yes! It’s GWad! Legendary Tycoon manager extraordinaire, philanthropist and champion of the people.

    GWad surveys the crowd. The audience draws a collective breath and a deafening silence seeps into the atmosphere. A lone infant can be heard letting out a faint cough somewhere in the massed throng.

    In a manner that can’t be described as anything less than sexual, GWad throws one clenched fist in the air and all at once the horde explodes into a frenzy of applause, hollers and bellows. Women and gay men faint.

    Coolly and calmly, GWad strides to the podium. But the crowd shows no sign of letting up, their volume only increasing. Scanning the teeming mass from side to side, front to back, GWad nods silently.

    After 5 minutes of raucous celebrations, GWad makes a quick gesture with his hand and in a few moments recomposes the crowd. Again, one can taste the tension in the air as thousands upon thousands await GWad’s first words.

    GWad opens his mouth as if to speak but pauses. 100,000 people strain to hear with bated breath. This is the greatest moment of their lives.

    He speaks softly into the mic, “You all know why I’m here."

    As the last syllable rolls off his tongue a chorus of chants spontaneously erupts from the crowd.

    “G-Wad! G-Wad! G-Wad! G-Wad!” …

    GWad grins. “That’s right!” he bellows at the top of his lungs, “we’re going to KILL ALFRED!”

    “Kill-Al-fred! Kill-Al-fred! Kill-Al-fred!” … the crowd screams back.

    A diminutive middle-aged man with glasses standing at the edge of the stage shuffles to the podium and whispers something into GWad’s ear before shuffling back. The chants continue, unabated.

    GWad clears his throat. “Metaphorically” he qualifies, switching to a lower octave.

    “Kill-Al-fred! Kill-Al-fred! Kill-Al-fred!” … the crowd continues, unperturbed.

    Mixed Martial Arts Management - G Wad

    Press Conference Mics (PSD) | Official PSDs

    “Thank you for coming to my press conference” GWad says, switching into another gear as the chants show no sign of letting up. “I’ll take a few questions from the media.”

    As awestruck as everyone else, the journalists in attendance gape in amazement at GWad, no one speaks up. Finally, as the chants slowly die down, one courageous notepad-clad professional collects himself and pipes up, “Can you really do it? Can you really defeat another team tainted by the scourge of Alfred?”

    “KIIIIILL-ALFREEEEED!” a shrill, high-pitched cry comes from one woman in the audience a few rows back, losing all control at the sound of his name.

    “Yes” says GWad, ignoring the scream. “I do what must be done.” [Frenzied applause]

    The journalist simply mouths the word “Wow” and starts furiously scribbling in his notepad.

    “GWad!” cries out another journalist.

    “Yes. You”

    “GWad, what is your team doing to prepare itself?”

    “We’ve had incredible buy in. Our chemistry is through the roof. We are all united under a common goal…”

    A few excited cries of “Kill Alfred!” can be heard in the crowd, interrupting GWad’s train of thought.

    GWad continues, “We fight for justice. We fight for light. We fight for all that is holy. That, is our strength.”

    Applause from all corners of the audience, no one as vigorous as the reporter who asked the question. A tear streams down his cheek.

    “GWad! GWad!” several reporters now shout.

    “OK, OK settle down” GWad says. “You. Go”

    “GWad, who will you be entering? Who is your champion.”

    “Weeeelll we’ll see won’t we” GWad smirks back, grinning from check to cheek. “Too early to say now, as you well know, but nice try. I can say the new recruits are just brimming with potential. I’m especially looking forward to seeing young Derfla Summertop in action. He was scientifically engineered to be the exact opposite of everything evil and wrong with the world.”

    GWad scans the audience for a moment. “OK” he says. “I can take one more question.”

    “GWad!” one intrepid reporter shouts quickly.

    “OK, young man, shoot.”

    “Kill Alfred?” the reporter asks.

    GWad simply winks and slowly starts walking back to his limo.

    As he glides to the car, GWad is bombarded by a stream of panties hurled from the crowd but he remains unphased.

    Pausing at the car door, GWad looks back one last time at the throng and again silently throws his fist in the air. The crowd lets loose a roar and the familiar chanting commences again.

    The chants remain audible to GWad until the limo puts a solid 2 miles between itself and the podium.

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