Search the Community

It is no secret that the meteoric rise and dominance of the mighty Musketeers alliance has unleashed extreme feelings of insecurity among certain members of the Tycoon community. As the new gold standard of Tycoon closes in on its 4th straight alliance pyramid victory, the most insecure among them are quick to compare the achievements of an alliance half a year old to the oldest and most burned out alliance barely clinging to existence. Clearly there are plans being put into place to see that this domination, which is frankly embarrassing and bad for the game, is ended. How do you think they are trying to bring us down? http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/1482792032image.jpg

http://www.icrewz.com/wp-content/files/Multi-Media-News-Reporter.jpg Trent McReporterson interviews GWad of the legendary, world-famous Musketeers TM: A certain subset of Tycoon has been scathing in their initial reaction to the Musketeers, what is your reaction to that feedback? GW: The Musketeers is the peoples’ alliance. Each and every one of our managers is the peoples’ champion. With that amount of fame and prestige, you are bound to attract some jealousy. TM: One Belgian pre-pubescent was particularly specific in his criticism. GW: [chuckling] That was especially amusing. He posts some crap about how he lost his respect, for whatever that’s worth, for those of us who didn’t stick with Vendetta. Considering that he SENT ME A PM practically begging me join his alliance not one hour after I had left, I thought this to be a tad hypocritical. TM: Did you consider joining his alliance, the Dogs of War? GW: I believe he left that one. TM: Oh yea, now I remember. My apologies. Broken Halo Pride? GW: Where have been Trent? He’s not there anymore either. TM: Shit! Where is he? GW: Does it matter? TM: Good point. What are your thoughts on this Belgian? GW: Look, I know you are trying to get me to attack this guy but there is literally nothing I can say about him that hasn’t already been said. Basically it’s like this; he sees a couple posts that aren’t about his irrelevant alliance and he gets upset. I would encourage him to post something himself but we all know what happened last time he started posting things.. TM: God help us all. http://resources0.news.com.au/images/2014/02/21/1226833/304064-a4c35cb6-9a41-11e3-a5ad-5f99c6c437b4.jpg The Belgians are not fans of the Musketeers TM: What happened to your imminent move to Convicted? Your crayon-signed pre-approved application form guaranteed you entry did it not? GW: Thank you for the question Trent. After the highly publicized ‘incident’ following Kim Jong Un’s annihilation of convicted fighter Georgy Fokin, I received news that the application had been rejected on technical grounds. The Incident: Karter refuses to shake GWAD's hand post-fight TM: Can you be more specific? GW: Well the thing is I thought the whole incident was a bit of a laugh. You know, media hype and all. I assumed it would all blow over in a couple days. What I forgot is that Karter does not forgive or forget. TM: Yea he is a bit of an anus isn’t he? GW: Anyway, I got a call to come down to his office the next day and I assumed we would talk it over like men. When I got there it became quickly evident that he still had a grudge. TM: So on what exact grounds did he reject your application? GW: He told me I violated the instructions by not strictly following the part where it warned against using big words. According to him “herculean” and “heterosexuality” were much too sophisticated for the likes of convicted. When I tried to point out that “heterosexuality” was actually part of a question and not one of my answers, he started screaming about how he had never heard of the concept before. It was all very surreal. GWad's full application form TM: That is really something. I guess you’ll just have to be content with being on the number 1 most famous alliance in all of Tycoon then. GW: Your words Trent, your words. TL/DR? Musketeers: 3 Convicted: 0

"December 7, 2016, a date which will live in infamy." The first battle* [Ed. massacre] between the Tycoon World’s most famous alliances occurred. http://i346.photobucket.com/albums/p405/gwad12345/hehe2_LI_zpsnf3hm3lh.jpg *OK, so I while I was writing I found out that there has actually already been one fight (sorry Stu) but I don’t feel like completely changing the premise so just accept this as the first fight for now. With that out of the way, allow me to proceed… In what was the first ever battle between the Musketeers and Convicted, the big Cs took a thorough ‘Fokin’ as chinless wonder and part time dictator Kim Jong Un dismantled some bum. The victory, while shocking to many in the MMA world, came as no surprise to Kim’s legion of devotees in the Peoples’ Republic, who, watching a live [Ed. delayed by 5 hours] feed back in Pyongyang, erupted into a standing ovation. http://media2.giphy.com/media/H2L0gd8Tq9v6o/giphy.gif The real story of the evening, however, came after the fight as the young North Korean’s manager, GWAD, who was understandably pleased to see the result, approached Convicted leader Chris Karter, the QFC King, to wish him better luck next time. Some sources claim GWAD may have inserted a comment which could be interpreted as smack talk but GWAD vigorously denied those allegations. In any case, Karter, was visibly upset to see GWAD and reacted regrettably, refusing to speak in polite conversation. http://i346.photobucket.com/albums/p405/gwad12345/GWad_zps8gcigmfq.gif GWAD walks over to shake Karter’s hand post-fight and gets rejected As news of the faux pas between GWAD and CK broke, the MMA world became abuzz with speculation regarding CK’s valiant attempt to woo GWAD into Convicted. GWAD has already submitted his pre-approved application and signed his name in crayon as required and there are those that say Convicted is therefore legally bound to let him in. Betting markets have been thrown into turmoil as everyone tries to make sense of how this will affect the move. We believe there will be more news on this later. It must be stated that Karter has been uncharacteristically tight-lipped on the issue. For now, the only concrete takeaway from the evening is the bottom line. Let the record show, the score between the Musketeers and Convicted is: Musketeers: 2 Convicted: 0

A spectre is haunting MMATycoon – the spectre of The [insert number here] Musketeers. The following harrowing interview was conducted by our brave journalist, Trent McReporterson. http://www.icrewz.com/wp-content/files/Multi-Media-News-Reporter.jpg The first emotion I felt as I entered the den of the fearsome Musketeers was, naturally, one of intimidation. These swashbuckling rapscallions decreed from on high their intentions in no uncertain terms. As I entered Ryan Epicity was on the tail end of a clearly rousing speech “The Iron is hot! The time to strike is nigh! The game is ours!” he bellowed. I had anticipated that my reporting from Beirut and Fallujah would prepare me for the most frightening this world had to offer. I was wrong. I made my way up to the most handsome of the Musketeers, one G Wad. Already on edge by the sheer magnitude of his presence, I fumbled out the following question in a manner unbecoming of a professional journalist. "Ehh Sir Wad. Your new alliance is really something isn’t it?" Raising his eyebrows in a subtle yet telling fashion, he surveyed me from head to toe as a shiver ran down my spine. At long length he replied, in a calm but firm voice, “The name is Sir G Wad and I would ask you kindly to avert your gaze when you address me, peasant.” Not a good start but if my extensive interviews with the Mujahideen has taught me anything, it is that you must press on. He mercifully turned his head for a moment to order another flagon of ale which allowed me to collect myself. “Quite right,” I said, as he turned around. I hurriedly reached into my bag to grab a notebook into which I buried my head for the rest of the interview so as not to further antagonize this spectacle of a man. “Tell me about your new alliance then, good sir.” “And what an alliance it is!” he said, now quite animated, and took a huge gulp out of his flagon. “This is not an alliance that will compete for the top. We are the top. People are already flocking from hither and thither to pay tribute to our magnificence.” I could not argue with the man but I had come here for a story, not PR. I wanted to judge his reaction to other esteemed voices in the Tycoon community. “What do you make of all this business between Ryan, yourself and CK? I have seen him post in increased frequency these last few days,” I asked. “Who?” Replied G Wad? “Chris Karter?”, I said, slightly taken aback. G Wad then beckoned to the barmaid who promptly brought him a few papers which he quickly began perusing. He was searching for a good 2 minutes before a quick query with the barmaid elucidated that this document was a list of full manager rankings. Finally, he said, “I can’t find him.” “Maybe try the second page” I said, reassuringly. G Wad let out a vocal grunt and said “I never knew there was a second page.” Finally, down near the bottom, at rank 108, G Wad found him. “Oh that guy, yea sure. Truly remarkable knowledge of statistics, if I recall correctly. What of him?” “Do you have any comments on some of his recent posts?” “I try not to pay too much attention to rabble rousers,” he replied, dismissively. “But you have to admit he carries a large reputation. Most in the community would be proud to be compared to the man,” I said, hoping this would stoke a reaction. G Wad calmly flicked a speck of dust from his tunic and said, “So CK is the standard of excellence in men now? I would argue that that is an overly generous barometer for a street cretin let alone our elite troupe. If you take CK’s unenviable characteristics as a sort of average, you would have to conclude that 90% of the population is ‘tall’ and 99% of the population is ‘well-endowed’.” Stealing another glance at G Wad’s face I added, “You didn’t mention anything about the hair.” G Wad recoiled slightly before replying, “I try not to dwell on things that make me nauseous. Next question please.” Pressing on, as this was the story I had been tasked to uncover, I said “There have been other trolls who have said…” Cutting me off before I could finish, G Wad, back to his more dismissive tone, said, “If you are referring to Shiftas, you must be having a laugh to even consider him as such. In fairness to him I heard that Wolf and Aaron lowered his IQ attribute to 10. The lowest it’s supposed to go is 75. Some say that that was how they got caught.” “Hmm, that explains the rumors I heard about him and his best friend Rain Thunder. I heard that their favorite thing to do is sit together for hours and count each other brain cells,” I replied. An astonished G Wad, retorted, “I am surprised that they can count to 6.” “That’s why it takes them hours”, I answered, nodding. All this talk of lesser members of the Tycoon community had clearly caused G Wad to lose interest. “Anyway, I think that will be all for today,” he said, turning his back. With nothing left to do, I slunk out… [update: At the moment this interview was conducted Christopher Karter had, what we call in the industry, a shit rank. We would like to congratulate him on his remarkable overachievement to get within 50 ranks of the lowest ranked Musketeer]