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Local Legends Pass - Channel 9000


Duxwig

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*In a local bar, the bartender hushes the patrons as he flicks on the TV and Channel 9000 news broadcaster Tom Tickleton comes on*

 

TOM: Tonight in the Tycooniverse, a local legend and his gaggle of misfits have fallen. Taken early some say, not taken soon enough say others. Either way, this tragic news comes TOO SOON after last Friday. We go to Nina Nino at the entrance to some cave in the middle of no where. Nina?

 

NINA: Thanks Tom! I'm here as you said at the entrance to some random hole in the ground where we hear things went south inside. The only known survivor currently, Wacky Chan, spoke to us about what happened.

 

WACKY: Well after Bubba recent loss to Anton he must have been hit in head to much since he start talking about magic sliders in hole. He was talk like a prophet. He put on head dress and do dance for us and of course we all love Bubba and the heart so we follow him since he so passion.

 

NINA: Who exactly was going on this "magic mission," Wacky?

 

WACKY: We all go. Pico told us humor Bubba and let him get depress out of his system after him get knocked out. I think I could use magic slider to my own. I been wanting to leave Pico camp for a long time and probably could use glitch sliders since I hear so much about them. I think any one else use glitch sliders though is cheater, but I use them for power of good. The french always good people.

 

NINA: So you actually all followed Bubba's crazy plan into a dark cavern into the earth, just because you're silly manager told you to?

 

WACKY: Like said, they all follow and thought maybe Bubba would talk stop but I want use on my own. So we all follow. Took us 14 hrs of walk but we got there! We find actually glitch magic sliders Bubba talk of! Not sure how we find them but it was not a good idea we find out. Glitch sliders were in ice tomb for being stuck so long. We try to get them but dopplegangers appear to stop us!

 

NINA: Dopplegangers?

 

WACKY: Yes! Dopplegangers! They all Sensational/Sensational/Exceptional/Brown ninja! They train too long and have no way stop them so all look same! Ice ground so cold they know ground fight no good anymore so all train and look same as everyone else. Is scary to see world come that way!

 

NINA: So you fought this army of dopplegangers inside their ice cavern?

 

WACKY: Silly woman, you know when is doppleganger you have no reason fight. We roll dice to decide who live or die. It called Are An Gee i hear. But stand for Random Number Game.

 

NINA: So people really don't fight on skills anymore since you all look the same but just roll dice to see who lives or dies?

 

WACKY: Eggxactly!

 

NINA: That sounds dumb.

 

WACKY: Not our choice, is god choice. So we all run around and roll our dice in major fight! Someone trip Machidan Lyoton and he die before my eyes! Not sure how happen but Chameleon Denton Thunder try to morph into Machidan but some how god stop him and he die too with out dice roll!'

Bubba see this RNG not good and he try to grab the gltich sliders to save us all and make dice roll win. But so many doppleganger and so many skill they boobie trap sliders. Bubba smashed him iron head into ice shattering it but it set off explosion and ice collapse on them all!

 

NINA: Everyone is dead?

 

WACKY: I do know not! I see Bubba, Momoko, and Machine were all trapped! I guess everyone else stuck too!

 

NINA: Are you a ghost? How are you here Wacky Chan?

 

WACKY: Well. Wacky sometimes coward. I like get things for self but sometimes DUCK real challenge like glitch sliders because I scared. Small penis. So I hide by entrance and I see people die I run out of hole in cower. I live to fight another day!

 

NINA: So what's going to happen to you now Wacky?

 

WACKY: Well I challenge Afro Samurai but he try to doppleganger me and duck challenge! I leavin Pico camp after next fight to try and find other glitch sliders so I win. Pico always force me fight while injure, not fair. Plus pico stuck in ice too. Him a sucker to follow Bubba so long, he deserve be stuck in ice. Like Vanilla Ice career.

 

NINA: Well there you have it Tom, tragedy and misfortunre. Dopplegangers and RNG have apparently claimed more lives in what seems to be an on going trend. What man or god can be a hero to change the tides and resurrect these fallen foes? We may never know sadly.

 

TOM: Thanks Nina, I ho..*scene fades off*

 

*In a dark lit corner of the bar, three cliched hooded men angrily slam down their drinks. One flicks on his lighter for a cigarette. These men are none other than Spotted Cow, Guywaun Lopez Lopez, and Father Frottage.*

 

Spotted: We need to *hick* finish these damn *hick* drinks and find them guys! How'd we let them go down der without us?

 

Guywaun: Yo dawg, you axked uz to get some dranks in yo cup after you finished yo farm work. Sorry all yo friends is cheesy except me.

 

Frottage: I am also here gentlemen.

 

Guywaun: Ya but yous just wanna touch us when we aint lookin' and get drunk! Why we even let yo azz in wit us? maaaaaaaaan.

 

Frottage: *evily rubs hands* Yes. Let's get going. You guys lead so I can watch your as....I mean because I don't know the way.

 

*The three slam down their beers and rush head first into the night toward the ice cavern to meet their doom like their companions.*

 

The End?

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