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Contention (210k+)


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Elmer: I am Elmer Goulfinhans. I am from ze great nation of ze Germany! Vhat is he doing? Vhy is he translating me? I am speaking ze english pervectly fine! Zat is vhat I hate about you damn Americans. You ruinz ze everything! I am come to this org, I am come to ze America to crush all of you, and show you my big fatz German schnitzels! Haha! I can not waitz for ze Fox to set up my first fightz so I can take over this org, and take over ze America. Az you say here in this countryz, Screw All of Ze You!

 

Translator: I am Elmer Goulfinhans. I am from the great nation of Germany! What is he doing? Why is he translating me? I am speaking English perfectly fine! That is what I hate about you *expletive* Americans. You ruin everything! I have come to this org, I have come to America to crush all of you, and show you my big fat German *expletive*! Haha! I can not wait for Fox to set up my first fight so I can take over this org and take over America. As you say here in this country, screw all of you!

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265 pound fighter, Elmer Goulfinhans approaches the podium after the card for Contention 1: The Beginning has been made official. Elmer is set to square off against Todd Duffee.

 

Elmer: Finally, ze time for ze first event has come. Nobody else here vants to talk-yah? It is vecause you are all scared of the best fighter in this organization. Who are you all scared of? ME. ELMER GOULFINHANS-YAH. Vonce April 20th comes, I vill prove it all to you. Todd Duffee, I vill destroy you. I vill take you to the ground, and I vill beat your head in. This organization vill rise on my shoulders! So the rest of you can go VUCK YOURSELVES. I AM HERE TO VIN. I AM HERE TO STAY.

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Sheamus McHoolihan: David Pesina, listen up laddy. In less than a month, you and I are gonna collide. In less than a month, you and I are gonna fight. In less than a month, I'm gonna kick your arse. I may be only 18. I may be a young fighter here, but I don't care. I've already taken the job, and on the 20th of April, I'm gonna get the job done.

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Contention 1: The Beginning Preview

 

Ozzie: I've got six words for ya: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. We have been waiting. We have been looking to the sky and praying for the day to come. It hasn't come just yet but we can smell it. You go outside, you smell a change in the air as winter leaves and you know spring is coming, and that means only one thing: Contention 1: The Beginning. It all begins here. I am Ozzie Bravo, and joining me to preview the event is my good friend Harold Parkinson the Fifth, or as I like to call him, HPV. How are you doing today Harry?

 

HPV: Ozzie, great to be here my man. The lights are flashin', the stars are aligning, and the hookers are shakin' their stuff. We're in Vegas baby!

 

Ozzie: We gotta great card to shoo in this here organization into a new direction. It's a full card which means 20 fighters, and only 10 of whom can walk out with the victory.

 

HPV: These fighters are going to roll the dice. Let's see who ends out on top and who ends up as unlucky as the lady I bedded last night who did the dirty dance with the Five Pump Chump Champ!

 

Ozzie: Since we don't got a lot of previous experience from these fighters, we'll roll right through the fights with 0-0 records.

 

HPV's Lucky Picks

Chambers has it in the bag here if he can close the distance quickly and use his wrestling skills to win.

 

Two very similar fighters, I'll go with the experience of Baker's manager Jimmy da Jet.

 

Two similar fighters, in fact, they look the same. Haynes is slightly uglier, so I'll go with Tully here.

 

A slugfest that I see Robertson getting the better of.

 

Pesina seems to have the better offensive set, I'll go with him here.

 

I can't pronounce either of these dude's names, so since they're very similar I'll with the one I'm least likely to mess up saying, Hassan.

 

If Duffee can keep this standing it's all over for Goulfinhans. I'm going with Duffee here.

 

We know what we're getting out of Chambers. He has an impressive decision win. Devlin, is a wild card here. I like Chambers in this one, he seems to have picked up some new tricks fairly quickly and I expect him to be a real threat at 170.

 

Beam has a first round win. If you look at it though, his opponent decided to take him down and got submitted. Clawnes won't be looking to go to the ground here where Beam has the advantage. I'd pick Clawnes here to pick up the W.

 

Hieron and Tsung both have fight experience. Hieron picked up an easy submission victory. Tsung picked up an L. I expect Hieron to double his wins and and Tsung to double his losses and put Hieron at 2-0 in his young career.

 

Ozzie: Harold! That wasn't so bad, eh? You didn't even give away that you soiled yourself before this preview because you were so nervous with your picks!

 

HPV: That, that's not true. Not true at all.

 

Ozzie: And then you had to change, and you soiled those pants too!

 

HPV: Stop, stop lying.

 

Ozzie: It was hilarious!

 

HPV: Don't spread these false allegations.

 

Ozzie: We got it on tape, let's roll the clip!

 

HPV: Well that's all for tonight, it looks like we have to cut our program short. Happy fighting everyone!

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Sean "The Irish Car Bomb" Conlon: I am still training right now and I have been told that I have a long way ta go, but let me tell ya... I am doing great. I feel great, and I am chomping at the bit ta get in there and mix it up. I'm Irish.... fightin' is in me blood. It ain't ne're been nothin' ta me. I'm goin' ta talk with Brunno and he tells me that Mr. Jackobson will send me a contract as soon as I'm ready... well, that time is a' fast approachin'. I'm puttin' all the light-weight division on notice over there in Contention.... I'm drivin' on out there and I'm gonna blow up right in yer faces. Ye have been warned!

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Diego Aragon

 

"Im fighting a guy called Crixus later this month, my first pro fight. While I have respect for this guy I will demolish him. I will break him inside 2 rounds. He might be older, he hits hard, is a great boxer, but this wont matter. When I have won this fight Mr Jacobsson will know he has signed a true talent. Remember my name I am ARAGON."

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Cain Adam! Let me keep it simple for you. "On April 27th, I'm going to show Las Vegas and the World that your boxing skills are overrated. The gameplan is no secret, I'm going to beat your head in like a pinata on the 5th Day of May". End Quote! Stay Trashy Las Vegas!

 

Yours truly,

 

Ronald Burgandy

http://www.mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilemanager.php?FID=210765

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Contention 1: The Beginning Review

 

Ozzie: It's come, it's gone, Contention 1: The Beginning. Ozzie Bravo here with you to review the first event for the new, the up and coming MMA organization Contention. Joining me once again, Harry Parkinson the Fifth also known as HPV. Harry?

 

HPV: Ozzie, what just happened? WHAT JUST HAPPENED? I'm not entirely sure what just happened as yesterday was 4/20, and, well, you know. A little memory loss for me! Luckily I caught the event on tape this morning and was able to rewatch what went down.

 

Ozzie: A lot went down HPV. We saw a brief glimpse of the fighters that may be the future of the company. Scores were settled. Some scores weren't settled. You know that the matchmaking is even when the first event has TWO draws!

 

HPV: These fighters gave their all and showed a lot of heart. A couple of draws means we'll definitely see some fighters squaring off again down the line. There were a few that really impressed me and are standouts from last night. Chris Hieron looks to be a star in the making. He main evented and got a submission in the first round!

 

Ozzie: He wasn't the only one that impressed. Kevin Chambers had a vicious knockout early in the first round, and loud mouth Elmer Goulfinhans backed up his trash talk and ground and pounded his way to the shortest fight of the night! I can't wait, let's go over the fights.

 

HPV's Review

Chambers showed up last night and showed up big. He both fighters wantd the fight on the ground, but Chambers was the one able to get the takedown. He dominated on the ground with 54 ground strikes landing. One has to question for the future though, is Chambers a little weak? We'll see if his camp works on his strength so he can end his next fight sooner. 1-0 on the picks so far!

 

We went with the experience from Baker's manager Jimmy da Jet and he did not disappoint! The crowd apparently felt like Hall had the first round which I disagreed with. Baker controlled most of the round on the ground looking for a submission. The second was clearly won by Baker with some great work in the ground and the clinch. On my card, it was tied, but others had Hall winning the first two. In the third Hall took down Baker and was looking to cruise to a win, but Baker got the submission off of his back! This was a great fight, and these two will definitely lock up again. 2-0 for picks!

 

I went with Tully here simply because Haynes was uglier and I had to make a pick. I thought these two were very evenly matched, and the were, as it went down to a majority draw. The first round was evenly split, with Tully winning the second and Haynes winning the third. Hopefully these two get to match up again in the future to truly settle the fight! I still sit at 2-0.

 

I saw this one as being a slugfest that Robertson would end up winning. He probably took the fact that I called him a slugger to heart as he focused on get a submission victory. Robertson did get this victory in the second despite losing the first due to more damage by Mosley despite Robertson's frequent sub attempts. Mosley has to be disheartened by this loss. 3-0 for picks.

 

I bet against the Jacobson camp here as McHoolihan didn't seem to have any offense. This was my first incorrect pick of the night as McHoolihan controlled most of what was a borefest with very few punches being landed by either fighter. 3-1 for the event.

 

Another fight were I saw two very similar fighters. I took the pick of Hassan because I could actually pronounce his name and saw no real distinction between the two fighters. They proved me right as this fight ended up in the second draw of the evening. The first judge ruled in favor of Ciechanek, the second ruled it a draw, and the third ruled it in favor of Hassan. All judges agreed Ciechanek won the first and Hassan the third, but they were hesitant on who to pick in the second. These two also should see themselves facing off again in the future. Still sitting at 3-1.

 

I thought Duffee could keep this standing against Goulfinhans. He couldn't, and I was proven a fool again. Goulfinhans looked dominant with some vicious ground and pound. He only needed five strikes to cut Duffee twice and force the ref to pull Goulfinhans off Duffee. 3-2 for me.

 

I liked Chambers here and thought he would be a real threat at 170. He proved me a smart man landing all of his strikes, capped off with a counter into a monstrous hook to send Devlin tumbling to the canvas. What is next for both of these two warriors? 4-2.

 

I picked Clawnes and was right here in a decision victory. This fight was one that wasn't about striking. It was about control. Clawnes showed that he could control the fight GSP style and keep it where he wanted it. Beam tried to get the fight to the ground with 15 takedown attempts, and this really tired him out allowing Clawnes to control. 5-2.

 

If you fail, try and try again. That's what Hieron did. 14 submission attempts in 2:50 seconds. That 14th submission attempt proved to be the charm with a major victory for Hieron. He now sits at 2-0, looking to continue to improve his resume and become one of the first champions in Contention history. 6-2.

 

Ozzie: What a card, and to think, we have another in just six days. You even went 6-2, good for you HPV!

 

HPV: It was fun, I can't want for Contention 2: The Next Step!

 

Ozzie: The groundwork for this organization will be laid out in that time, and we may start to see some true separation.

 

HPV: I can't wait, we'll see you then.

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Contention 2: The Next Step Review

 

Ozzie: Contention doubled their total number events this evening with Contention 2: The Next Step. It was a big step up for the organization, nearly selling out Paddy's Bar. Title pictures are starting to take place, and who knows what will happen?

 

HPV: What will Contention owner Fox Jacobson do? Will he decide to hold a title tournament or give a title fight out soon?

 

Ozzie: Time will tell. I imagine if two fighters really separate themselves he may go with just a title fight, and if there are many distinguished fighters he may go with a tournament. What division will he go with first though? 265? 205? 185? Who knows?

 

HPV: Enough talk of the future, let's go with the here and now. The line between the lions and the gazelles became a little more clear today at Contention 2. Three of the ten fights ended via decision, and again, there was a draw on the card. A lot of these matches really are even!

 

Ozzie: Let's not waste anymore time and get to the fights.

 

 

 

Fight 1

Steven Simms Stewart Heath

Heath and Simms started the night off. This was a very quick fight. Simms showed some great takedown defense from the beginning. Heath tried to get several takedowns but failed to land any of them, giving Simms the opportunity to pick apart Heath rather quickly for a first round knockout victory.

 

Fight 2

Tony Pigskin Charles McClure

Pigskin and McClure continued the night with another big fight. McClure tried to get Pigskin to the ground but was unable to. This allowed Pigskin to pepper McClure with shots. Pigskin landed 95 head punches and 29 body punches in clinch. No typo there! McClure's face looked like it just went through the deli on the way to the TKO win for Pigskin. Pigskin was very impressive on this evening is looking to go on the up and up!

 

Fight 3

Jethro Jasquelle Heero Yagami

Two evenly matched fighters here, and it showed. The fight was ruled a 29:29 draw by all three judges. Both fighters were quickly offered an opportunity at Contention 5 to settle the score. We all hope they both accept, because everyone wants to know who's actually better!

 

Fight 4

Preston Pruitt Jora Buhovsky

Buhovsky was hoping his better wrestling would be able to keep this on the feet to take at Pruitt. It couldn't. Pruitt pulled guard and quickly maneuvered his way to a dominant position. It only took one submission attempt to end this fight with a quick victory for Pruitt.

 

Fight 5

Milos Dragan Tony Martinez

42 standing takedown attempts from Dragan. None of those stand up takedowns landed which really hurt Dragan. Martinez was able to keep it at a distance and cruise to an easy 30:27 decision victory.

 

Fight 6

Cain Adam Ronald Burgandy

Adam and Burgandy clashed for the second decision fight of the night. This was a real stand up battle that Adam was able to get the better of for two rounds. Despite landing more shots, Burgandy threw some real power to steal one round. If these two fight again, Burgandy could find himself the victor, but Adam got the better of him tonight.

 

Fight 7

Osiris Loveladdy Hey Zues

Loveladdy and Zues had a classic MT versus traditional boxer match up. Well, the match up wasn't quite that classic. Zues was able to get a couple leg kicks, but Loveladdy was able to land every one of his shots and cruise to a KO victory.

 

Fight 8

Jacoby Jamison Frank Mir

Mir tried to take his balanced fight style against Jamison's primarily boxing style. Jamison was able to stop all four of Mir's takedown attempts. He then pounced on the opportunity to take out Mir with a swift combo for a very quick knockout and victory.

 

Fight 9

Diego Aragon Jake Crixus

Aragon and Crixus again battled to a decision finish in the co-main event of the evening. Aragon worked his way to that decision victory showing the better of the standup, the clinch and the ground. He was more aggressive in the stand up, landed takedowns in the clinch and controlled position on the ground.

 

Fight 10

Jigga Higga Kim Jung Johnson

The maaaaaain event of the eeeeeeevening! Higga squared off against a very confident Johnson. Johnson took the fight to the clinch and was getting the better of the fight there. Higga desperately wanted the fight to go to the ground, and was able to get it there after his third takedown attempt. Once the fight was on the ground, it was essentially over. Higga worked over Johnson and worked over an Americana for the submission victory. It's on the up and up for Higga from here.

 

HPV: We're looking forward to seeing you for Contention 3!

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Contention Power Rankings

 

155 Division

 

1. Robb Stark (3-0) - Faces off against Steven Simms next. The winner is likely to get a title shot.

2. Steven Simms (2-0) - Another unbeaten in the division, faces Stark next.

3. Zhang Chunqiao (3-1) - Lone loss was to Robb Stark. If he wins, he'll look to face the winner of Simms/Stark, and potentially get revenge on Stark.

 

170 Division

 

1. Tony Pigskin (2-0) - Potential fight for Pigskin against another unbeaten in Jasquelle. The division is small but is shaping up nicely.

2. Jethro Jasquelel (1-0-1) - Fought to a draw with Yagami then won the rematch to remain unbeaten. Faces Pigskin next.

3. Kevin Chambers (2-1) - Lone loss is to Pigskin, currently idle.

Honorable Mention: Nate Diaz - How can a 0-0 fighter be an honorable mention? He has looked great in training and is looking to move past Longfinger.

 

185 Division

This division has a lot of talent in it. It is easily one of the toughest divisions in the org.

 

1. Zane Greigh (5-0) - Won a QFC tournament then beat Hieron. Currently sitting idle but is in title contention.

2. Diego Aragon (2-0) - Partially because of his record, but more so because of his camp. He may fall after his next fight versus Steele, but he is the future of the division.

3. Byrom Steele (4-1) - Lone loss was to Greigh in the QFC. He is undefeated in Contention and looks to top Aragon and revenge a loss versus Greigh.

Honorable Mention: Preston Pruitt (2-0), Ryan Walsh (2-0) - These two are scheduled to fight if they both accept, a win would thrust either into the top 3.

 

205 Division

Another one of the top divisions in Contention.

 

1. Ron Burgundy (2-0) - Has arguably faced the toughest competition in the division. He's awaiting his next opponent.

2. Thomas Clawnes (2-0) - Another unblemished record in the division. He looks to keep it that way against Rokk Thompson.

3. Juliano Villar (2-0) - Another great young talent in the 205 division. He is awaiting his next fight once Saturday's card finishes.

 

265 Division

I would say this is arguably the toughest division in Contention. You can't really argue for any other division, though. With 5 2-0 or better fighters at the top, it's hard to separate the good from the best.

 

1. Laks Damn (2-0) - His fights have lasted a combined 14 seconds. Fight is currently under offer.

2. Osiris Loveladdy (3-0) - The only 3-0 man in the division. He has faced stiff competition and faces an untested Swahoo next.

3. Barry Robertson (2-0) - Has faced some tough competition including a very tough Jigga Higga. Fight is under offer versus Damn.

Honorable Mention: Elmer Goulfinhans (2-0), Bubba Benton (2-0)

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Diego Aragon: "I have a very tough fight against Steele this weekend who I know is older and has great BJJ. It looks a bad match for me but the performance is more important than the result as a 100% rated fight is my aim. I have to avoid this guys takedown attempts, which will be tough because he tries 2000 a round, so I may have a problem. I have a plan, I come to win and win in style. If I get submitted I will be back. Steele has to win this fight, he is 24, if he can't beat me now, he will never beat me. "

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Ryan Walsh: "I just want to let the org know that I'm here to dominate and do it for long time. I won't stop until my name is well-known around the fighters. I can fight in 170lbs or 185lbs, I don't mind, I just want to be the Champion. But of course I have to go step by step and climb carefully. Respect to all my opponents and respect to the competition. That's the way to the glory."

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Bubba-Well hot damn I done gone and got me honorable mentions here in Contention Las Vegas. Yes sir me bob dats sum great news I tell ya. Who da thunk that I would be amongst the best in the big boy division.Ol foxy must think very highly of me. All this and I haven’t even had to fight yet. Ya gat to giv it to ol foxy though he is one hell of a business man. He is da first guy to put on a true hillbilly/ red neck battle at da contentention 8 show it’s me and Barnyard Billy Bob Baker. First dey tell me Bubba you got to fight Billy Bob. I said I aint fightin Family plain and simple. Then I hear it aint my cousin it’s a totally different Billy Bob. I said Hot Damn. There is a Billy Bob in Texas!!. Any way get your tickets now I hear dat Paddies Bar is going to have Ice cold bush beer and will be serving Beans and corn bread during dat der fight. Cant Wait.

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Elmer Goulfinhans: Two more days. Two more days until ze Jacoby Jamison gets ze shiza kicked out of him-yah? I can't vait to sit on his face and pound it hard-yah! Vhat? Vhat are you all laughing about? Zis is not funny! Zis is serious! I will vin and show all of you how great I am-yah!

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