imfromhoiland

I'm definitely looking forward to Destiny, and oddly enough, from what I've heard the South Park game was the surprise of the show in terms of how good the demo was.

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/38/38w20.jpg Elmer Goulfinhans: Two more days. Two more days until ze Jacoby Jamison gets ze shiza kicked out of him-yah? I can't vait to sit on his face and pound it hard-yah! Vhat? Vhat are you all laughing about? Zis is not funny! Zis is serious! I will vin and show all of you how great I am-yah!

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/38/38w22.jpg DBDA: This guy! THIS GUY! HAIRFACE! Talking about me, Diogooooo Bortolazzoooooooo De Almeeeeeeeeeeeidaaaaaa. Talking about Magic Johnson like I know nothing. I know about Magic. He retired, but was named to the All-Star Team and was the MVP of that All-Star game. THAT'S LIKE ME! I haven't even fought yet, and I'm already an All-Star. After my first fight, I WILL BE THE MVP OF THIS ORGANIZATION! I might as well not even fight! Screw you Rory Daly, I'm going to take my money and run! Diogo's manager, Fox Jacobson leans over and whispers in Diogo's ear. DBDA: I retract that statement. Apparently Rory has some incriminating evidence against me blackmailing me to fight. SCREW YOU RORY! I DID NOT KNOW THAT SHE WAS A MAN UNTIL AFTERWARDS! Fox pulls Diogo away from the microphone and steps up: Fox: There will be no further questions for my client until after he has signed his first fight offer. Thank you.

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/38/38w22.jpg DBDA: HELL NO HAIRFACE! I'm gonna Magic Johnson THE SHIT out of this org! You should be glad you're a lightweight because I'd destroy you, and anyone in your division. I came to conquer, and I WILL!

Awesome Rhyno, I literally was laughing out loud.

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/38/38w22.jpg Diogo Bortolazzo De Almeida: All of you, FUCK YOU! Who the hell am I? I'll tell you who the FUCK I AM. I am "YOURRRRRRRR POPE", DIOOOOOOOOOOGO BORTOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZO DEEEEEEEEEEEEE ALMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I have come here to snort the coca. I have come here to win the title. Most importantly, I have come here to screw your wives and give them all three of my STDs! You wanna fuck with me? Screw you! You fuck with me in the cage, I'll give you my STDs too! To you Mr. Daly for signing me, I would thank you, but SCREW YOU! Before the end of my contract you will be kissing my ring, begging me to come back because I AM YOUR POPE!

Contention Power Rankings 155 Division 1. Robb Stark (3-0) - Faces off against Steven Simms next. The winner is likely to get a title shot. 2. Steven Simms (2-0) - Another unbeaten in the division, faces Stark next. 3. Zhang Chunqiao (3-1) - Lone loss was to Robb Stark. If he wins, he'll look to face the winner of Simms/Stark, and potentially get revenge on Stark. 170 Division 1. Tony Pigskin (2-0) - Potential fight for Pigskin against another unbeaten in Jasquelle. The division is small but is shaping up nicely. 2. Jethro Jasquelel (1-0-1) - Fought to a draw with Yagami then won the rematch to remain unbeaten. Faces Pigskin next. 3. Kevin Chambers (2-1) - Lone loss is to Pigskin, currently idle. Honorable Mention: Nate Diaz - How can a 0-0 fighter be an honorable mention? He has looked great in training and is looking to move past Longfinger. 185 Division This division has a lot of talent in it. It is easily one of the toughest divisions in the org. 1. Zane Greigh (5-0) - Won a QFC tournament then beat Hieron. Currently sitting idle but is in title contention. 2. Diego Aragon (2-0) - Partially because of his record, but more so because of his camp. He may fall after his next fight versus Steele, but he is the future of the division. 3. Byrom Steele (4-1) - Lone loss was to Greigh in the QFC. He is undefeated in Contention and looks to top Aragon and revenge a loss versus Greigh. Honorable Mention: Preston Pruitt (2-0), Ryan Walsh (2-0) - These two are scheduled to fight if they both accept, a win would thrust either into the top 3. 205 Division Another one of the top divisions in Contention. 1. Ron Burgundy (2-0) - Has arguably faced the toughest competition in the division. He's awaiting his next opponent. 2. Thomas Clawnes (2-0) - Another unblemished record in the division. He looks to keep it that way against Rokk Thompson. 3. Juliano Villar (2-0) - Another great young talent in the 205 division. He is awaiting his next fight once Saturday's card finishes. 265 Division I would say this is arguably the toughest division in Contention. You can't really argue for any other division, though. With 5 2-0 or better fighters at the top, it's hard to separate the good from the best. 1. Laks Damn (2-0) - His fights have lasted a combined 14 seconds. Fight is currently under offer. 2. Osiris Loveladdy (3-0) - The only 3-0 man in the division. He has faced stiff competition and faces an untested Swahoo next. 3. Barry Robertson (2-0) - Has faced some tough competition including a very tough Jigga Higga. Fight is under offer versus Damn. Honorable Mention: Elmer Goulfinhans (2-0), Bubba Benton (2-0)

Due to people not signing in for a while because of the approaching summer, Contention is looking for new signees for its 155-265 divisions. Send me a PM in game if interested. All divisions are 210k+

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/24/24w9.jpg Dontae Sheldon steps up to the podium after his decision victory over Kikovic. Dontae: HEY EVERYONE! REMEMBER ME! IT'S ME! DONTAE! I won today and it was so much fun. Thank you Kockovock for coming to play with me. I had so much fun! I hope we can play again in the future. I saw what you tried to do, which wasn't very nice, you kept slapping my leg with your foot. That wasn't nice, so I slapped your face with my hand! At the end the judges thought I did a better job playing than you did, so I got the PLAY TIME BELT! Dontae holds up his championship. Reporter 1: Dontae! Dontae! Over here. Who's next for you? You've beaten everyone in the division of note. Dontae: I really like Marku Parasca. He won a couple times now since we last played. He was really good at playing until he decided to take a nap. I didn't hit him that hard! I swear! Everyone else has a last play-time-session versus me and they lost, so I think Marku should be next! I can't wait! Reporter 2: In your recent fights, Marku was the only one able to take you down multiple times. Since then, you have earned a purple belt on the ground. Will this help you if Peel does offer the rematch? Dontae: Purple belt? Dontae looks at his title belt. This isn't purple silly it's blaaack, and yellooooow, and, HEY! There something in the middle! It's a fat man with a stick up his butt! Dontae starts cracking up. Reporter 2: No, that's a Spartan with his shield and weapon, Christ, you're in IMMORTALS! How do you not know this? Dontae: Blankly stares at the reporter. Reporter 3: Peel Steel recently said that you may be playing up the "dumb" card, that you and Fox Jacobson have actually been plotting this all along to throw off your opponents. How do you respond? Dontae: That is a ludicrous statem--. Fox Jacobson quickly pulls Dontae away from the microphone and steps in. Fox: I will not have you all question the mental ability of my client. No further questions. Dontae and Fox walk off together whispering back and forth.

No problem. Once the events start to turn out a profit I'll hire a writer. I don't have the time to pour out something high quality, so they'll get better in time!

All your posts are the same to me humours. Whenever I see that you've posted, I try to read the words, but all I can think of is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0

http://mmatycoon.com/images/posters/1363382786ConflictVegas.jpg Contention 2: The Next Step Review Ozzie: Contention doubled their total number events this evening with Contention 2: The Next Step. It was a big step up for the organization, nearly selling out Paddy's Bar. Title pictures are starting to take place, and who knows what will happen? HPV: What will Contention owner Fox Jacobson do? Will he decide to hold a title tournament or give a title fight out soon? Ozzie: Time will tell. I imagine if two fighters really separate themselves he may go with just a title fight, and if there are many distinguished fighters he may go with a tournament. What division will he go with first though? 265? 205? 185? Who knows? HPV: Enough talk of the future, let's go with the here and now. The line between the lions and the gazelles became a little more clear today at Contention 2. Three of the ten fights ended via decision, and again, there was a draw on the card. A lot of these matches really are even! Ozzie: Let's not waste anymore time and get to the fights. Fight 1 Steven Simms Stewart Heath Heath and Simms started the night off. This was a very quick fight. Simms showed some great takedown defense from the beginning. Heath tried to get several takedowns but failed to land any of them, giving Simms the opportunity to pick apart Heath rather quickly for a first round knockout victory. Fight 2 Tony Pigskin Charles McClure Pigskin and McClure continued the night with another big fight. McClure tried to get Pigskin to the ground but was unable to. This allowed Pigskin to pepper McClure with shots. Pigskin landed 95 head punches and 29 body punches in clinch. No typo there! McClure's face looked like it just went through the deli on the way to the TKO win for Pigskin. Pigskin was very impressive on this evening is looking to go on the up and up! Fight 3 Jethro Jasquelle Heero Yagami Two evenly matched fighters here, and it showed. The fight was ruled a 29:29 draw by all three judges. Both fighters were quickly offered an opportunity at Contention 5 to settle the score. We all hope they both accept, because everyone wants to know who's actually better! Fight 4 Preston Pruitt Jora Buhovsky Buhovsky was hoping his better wrestling would be able to keep this on the feet to take at Pruitt. It couldn't. Pruitt pulled guard and quickly maneuvered his way to a dominant position. It only took one submission attempt to end this fight with a quick victory for Pruitt. Fight 5 Milos Dragan Tony Martinez 42 standing takedown attempts from Dragan. None of those stand up takedowns landed which really hurt Dragan. Martinez was able to keep it at a distance and cruise to an easy 30:27 decision victory. Fight 6 Cain Adam Ronald Burgandy Adam and Burgandy clashed for the second decision fight of the night. This was a real stand up battle that Adam was able to get the better of for two rounds. Despite landing more shots, Burgandy threw some real power to steal one round. If these two fight again, Burgandy could find himself the victor, but Adam got the better of him tonight. Fight 7 Osiris Loveladdy Hey Zues Loveladdy and Zues had a classic MT versus traditional boxer match up. Well, the match up wasn't quite that classic. Zues was able to get a couple leg kicks, but Loveladdy was able to land every one of his shots and cruise to a KO victory. Fight 8 Jacoby Jamison Frank Mir Mir tried to take his balanced fight style against Jamison's primarily boxing style. Jamison was able to stop all four of Mir's takedown attempts. He then pounced on the opportunity to take out Mir with a swift combo for a very quick knockout and victory. Fight 9 Diego Aragon Jake Crixus Aragon and Crixus again battled to a decision finish in the co-main event of the evening. Aragon worked his way to that decision victory showing the better of the standup, the clinch and the ground. He was more aggressive in the stand up, landed takedowns in the clinch and controlled position on the ground. Fight 10 Jigga Higga Kim Jung Johnson The maaaaaain event of the eeeeeeevening! Higga squared off against a very confident Johnson. Johnson took the fight to the clinch and was getting the better of the fight there. Higga desperately wanted the fight to go to the ground, and was able to get it there after his third takedown attempt. Once the fight was on the ground, it was essentially over. Higga worked over Johnson and worked over an Americana for the submission victory. It's on the up and up for Higga from here. HPV: We're looking forward to seeing you for Contention 3!

http://mmatycoon.com/images/posters/1363382786ConflictVegas.jpg Contention 1: The Beginning Review Ozzie: It's come, it's gone, Contention 1: The Beginning. Ozzie Bravo here with you to review the first event for the new, the up and coming MMA organization Contention. Joining me once again, Harry Parkinson the Fifth also known as HPV. Harry? HPV: Ozzie, what just happened? WHAT JUST HAPPENED? I'm not entirely sure what just happened as yesterday was 4/20, and, well, you know. A little memory loss for me! Luckily I caught the event on tape this morning and was able to rewatch what went down. Ozzie: A lot went down HPV. We saw a brief glimpse of the fighters that may be the future of the company. Scores were settled. Some scores weren't settled. You know that the matchmaking is even when the first event has TWO draws! HPV: These fighters gave their all and showed a lot of heart. A couple of draws means we'll definitely see some fighters squaring off again down the line. There were a few that really impressed me and are standouts from last night. Chris Hieron looks to be a star in the making. He main evented and got a submission in the first round! Ozzie: He wasn't the only one that impressed. Kevin Chambers had a vicious knockout early in the first round, and loud mouth Elmer Goulfinhans backed up his trash talk and ground and pounded his way to the shortest fight of the night! I can't wait, let's go over the fights. HPV's Review Michael Chambers v Owen Longfinger Chambers showed up last night and showed up big. He both fighters wantd the fight on the ground, but Chambers was the one able to get the takedown. He dominated on the ground with 54 ground strikes landing. One has to question for the future though, is Chambers a little weak? We'll see if his camp works on his strength so he can end his next fight sooner. 1-0 on the picks so far! Grant Hall v Billy Bob Baker We went with the experience from Baker's manager Jimmy da Jet and he did not disappoint! The crowd apparently felt like Hall had the first round which I disagreed with. Baker controlled most of the round on the ground looking for a submission. The second was clearly won by Baker with some great work in the ground and the clinch. On my card, it was tied, but others had Hall winning the first two. In the third Hall took down Baker and was looking to cruise to a win, but Baker got the submission off of his back! This was a great fight, and these two will definitely lock up again. 2-0 for picks! Nelly Haynes v Jethro Tully I went with Tully here simply because Haynes was uglier and I had to make a pick. I thought these two were very evenly matched, and the were, as it went down to a majority draw. The first round was evenly split, with Tully winning the second and Haynes winning the third. Hopefully these two get to match up again in the future to truly settle the fight! I still sit at 2-0. Barry Robertson v Ryan Mosley I saw this one as being a slugfest that Robertson would end up winning. He probably took the fact that I called him a slugger to heart as he focused on get a submission victory. Robertson did get this victory in the second despite losing the first due to more damage by Mosley despite Robertson's frequent sub attempts. Mosley has to be disheartened by this loss. 3-0 for picks. David Pesina v Sheamus McHoolihan I bet against the Jacobson camp here as McHoolihan didn't seem to have any offense. This was my first incorrect pick of the night as McHoolihan controlled most of what was a borefest with very few punches being landed by either fighter. 3-1 for the event. Mateusz Ciechanek v Tabbrani Hassan Another fight were I saw two very similar fighters. I took the pick of Hassan because I could actually pronounce his name and saw no real distinction between the two fighters. They proved me right as this fight ended up in the second draw of the evening. The first judge ruled in favor of Ciechanek, the second ruled it a draw, and the third ruled it in favor of Hassan. All judges agreed Ciechanek won the first and Hassan the third, but they were hesitant on who to pick in the second. These two also should see themselves facing off again in the future. Still sitting at 3-1. Todd Duffee v Elmer Goulfinhans I thought Duffee could keep this standing against Goulfinhans. He couldn't, and I was proven a fool again. Goulfinhans looked dominant with some vicious ground and pound. He only needed five strikes to cut Duffee twice and force the ref to pull Goulfinhans off Duffee. 3-2 for me. Eli Devlin v Kevin Chambers I liked Chambers here and thought he would be a real threat at 170. He proved me a smart man landing all of his strikes, capped off with a counter into a monstrous hook to send Devlin tumbling to the canvas. What is next for both of these two warriors? 4-2. Thomas Clawnes v Jimmy Beam I picked Clawnes and was right here in a decision victory. This fight was one that wasn't about striking. It was about control. Clawnes showed that he could control the fight GSP style and keep it where he wanted it. Beam tried to get the fight to the ground with 15 takedown attempts, and this really tired him out allowing Clawnes to control. 5-2. Chris Hieron v Shang Tsung If you fail, try and try again. That's what Hieron did. 14 submission attempts in 2:50 seconds. That 14th submission attempt proved to be the charm with a major victory for Hieron. He now sits at 2-0, looking to continue to improve his resume and become one of the first champions in Contention history. 6-2. Ozzie: What a card, and to think, we have another in just six days. You even went 6-2, good for you HPV! HPV: It was fun, I can't want for Contention 2: The Next Step! Ozzie: The groundwork for this organization will be laid out in that time, and we may start to see some true separation. HPV: I can't wait, we'll see you then.

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/38/38w20.jpg Elmer Goulfinhans: I told you all zat I vould destroy Duffee. Poor man haz ze 16 day cut I hurt him so bad! Hah! Now ze question is, who is next at 265? Who dares to challenge the great Elmer Goulfinhans? I dare anyvone to try.

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/24/24w9.jpg Dontae Sheldon: Colt! It was so fun to play with you! I'm so glad we got to play with each other a lot longer than last time. 5 rounds instead of 3 rounds, whatever that means. I was told it was because have this here belt. It's like having a magical wand that let's me play longer! I never want to let this belt go! I'll be... Ball Pit Man, because I love to play in ball pits! Thanks for playing Colt, i hope to do it again soon! Later backstage Dontae and his manager Fox were seen speaking in hushed tones. Dontae noticed the door was open, had a look of big surprise, then slammed the door shut.

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/38/38w20.jpg Elmer Goulfinhans: In ze 7 days time haz come. In ze 7 days I fight ze Duffee. In ze 7 days I do vhat I vant. I destroy ze Duffee, and continue my path to ze title. All need to tremble in my wake.

Also on the card: Andrews vs. Quinlan Samman vs. Casey McDaniel vs. Smith Barnatt vs. Hart Hester vs. Marunde (a non TUF 17 fighter) I loved watching both Quinlan and Andrews. I think Andrews's determination with net him that victory. I see Samman destroying Casey in another cupcake match for him. Why the hell do they want Casey fighting anyways? Bubba is going to destroy Gilbert. That's another cupcake match. Barnatt vs. Hart should be a really good fight, I think it's a toss up, but I'd have to go with Hart.

Since the end of the show they've had what, 3 months or so? Hall is definitely the favorite. No questions there. I think that Gastelum has definitely proved that he's been the most coachable fighter this season. He's absorbed everything they've said and improved dramatically since he was picked last for Sonnen. I've got to think that he's going to improve quite a bit more. I think he can win. My concern is that we haven't seen him fight a really heavy handed opponent. I'm not sure how he can take shots. I'm sure I'd take Kelvin with Vegas odds, but Hall straight up.

@MarcoCavalcante: Eh, how you say, how you fuck my sister when you have your dick stuck so far up Sakara's ass? No?

I think you have to put Ed Norton as an honorable mention: -Fight Club -American History X -The Illusionist -Moonrise Kingdom He doesn't have the quantity of the others, but he's the star in two of the best flicks of all time (Fight Club and AHX)

I'd like to see Humour's negative rep posts next week. I'm pretty sure people will be looking to troll the troll.

Mine was in RP as well, as I'm sure they'll clash down the road.

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/15/15w20.jpg Marco Cavalcante: Mr. Donovan-ay. I-ah see that you are-ah pissed off-ay. You-ah callin me out, for having-ah one loss, no? Only one-ah loss to the only 4-0 fighter in the division and the third-ah ranked fighter in the org, no? You-ah hearing me complain that I need to face the same fighter in two weeks? No? While you-ah only have one fight in AFP, and it was-ah against a guy without any wins? I'ma not saying that I'ma better than-ah anyone. I'ma not complaining about who I-ah face and when I-ah face them. All-ah I'ma gonna do, is tell you, how you say in America, "Shut the fuck up and prove yourself before making demands. You'll get your chance if you keep winning." No?

http://mmatycoon.com/images/posters/1363382786ConflictVegas.jpg Contention 1: The Beginning Preview Ozzie: I've got six words for ya: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. We have been waiting. We have been looking to the sky and praying for the day to come. It hasn't come just yet but we can smell it. You go outside, you smell a change in the air as winter leaves and you know spring is coming, and that means only one thing: Contention 1: The Beginning. It all begins here. I am Ozzie Bravo, and joining me to preview the event is my good friend Harold Parkinson the Fifth, or as I like to call him, HPV. How are you doing today Harry? HPV: Ozzie, great to be here my man. The lights are flashin', the stars are aligning, and the hookers are shakin' their stuff. We're in Vegas baby! Ozzie: We gotta great card to shoo in this here organization into a new direction. It's a full card which means 20 fighters, and only 10 of whom can walk out with the victory. HPV: These fighters are going to roll the dice. Let's see who ends out on top and who ends up as unlucky as the lady I bedded last night who did the dirty dance with the Five Pump Chump Champ! Ozzie: Since we don't got a lot of previous experience from these fighters, we'll roll right through the fights with 0-0 records. HPV's Lucky Picks Michael Chambers v Owen Longfinger Chambers has it in the bag here if he can close the distance quickly and use his wrestling skills to win. Grant Hall v Billy Bob Baker Two very similar fighters, I'll go with the experience of Baker's manager Jimmy da Jet. Nelly Haynes v Jethro Tully Two similar fighters, in fact, they look the same. Haynes is slightly uglier, so I'll go with Tully here. Barry Robertson v Ryan Mosley A slugfest that I see Robertson getting the better of. David Pesina v Sheamus McHoolihan Pesina seems to have the better offensive set, I'll go with him here. Mateusz Ciechanek v Tabbrani Hassan I can't pronounce either of these dude's names, so since they're very similar I'll with the one I'm least likely to mess up saying, Hassan. Todd Duffee v Elmer Goulfinhans If Duffee can keep this standing it's all over for Goulfinhans. I'm going with Duffee here. Eli Devlin v Kevin Chambers We know what we're getting out of Chambers. He has an impressive decision win. Devlin, is a wild card here. I like Chambers in this one, he seems to have picked up some new tricks fairly quickly and I expect him to be a real threat at 170. Thomas Clawnes v Jimmy Beam Beam has a first round win. If you look at it though, his opponent decided to take him down and got submitted. Clawnes won't be looking to go to the ground here where Beam has the advantage. I'd pick Clawnes here to pick up the W. Chris Hieron v Shang Tsung Hieron and Tsung both have fight experience. Hieron picked up an easy submission victory. Tsung picked up an L. I expect Hieron to double his wins and and Tsung to double his losses and put Hieron at 2-0 in his young career. Ozzie: Harold! That wasn't so bad, eh? You didn't even give away that you soiled yourself before this preview because you were so nervous with your picks! HPV: That, that's not true. Not true at all. Ozzie: And then you had to change, and you soiled those pants too! HPV: Stop, stop lying. Ozzie: It was hilarious! HPV: Don't spread these false allegations. Ozzie: We got it on tape, let's roll the clip! HPV: Well that's all for tonight, it looks like we have to cut our program short. Happy fighting everyone!

In perhaps the most shocking finish in recent INY memory, Dontae Sheldon upsets Pablo Escobar with a vicious first round knockout to secure the first ever Immortals title belt for the Jacobson camp. http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/24/24w9.jpg Sheldon: Hey guys! I just won a 135 pound belt! It's weird, because it doesn't feel that heavy, it's gotta be a lot closer to 100 than 135. False advertising! Pablo, it was a lot of fun to play with you today. I wish we could have played longer, but you took a nap halfway through the first part of recess! You must have been really tired because you went to sleep fast! I can't wait to see who wants to play with me next. I wanted to play with Colt McLaren again, but I guess he got kicked out of school! (In all seriousness, I did not think I had a prayer in the fight.)