Viking Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Good morning fellas ... Im eating porridge with bananas/raisins and drinking a big cup of coffee in order to prepare for my new job ... I havent worked since 2008 ... My CV is just one big lie, but they bought it ... lets see how long I'll be able to stay Im a former chef and salesman But when I saw this add "Project Leader at the Micro Biologic institute" I knew I wanted it and did what had to be done ... Any tips? Anyone in Tycoon working with stuff like this that can teach me something? I dont want to come there and make a fool out of myself, hmm, I should have studied this abit I think When I googled Micro Biology it says that it is some kind of Research about bacteria, viruses and fungus I think im out on deep water here ... Wish me luck guys and have a nice day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 thats funny shit, but at the same time why you want to do something you know absolutely nothing about!? Or is this just a big joke..? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viking Posted October 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 thats funny shit, but at the same time why you want to do something you know absolutely nothing about!? Or is this just a big joke..? I left the Restaurant Business in 2008, had enough of it (alcohol problems etc) It sounded like a fun job, a project leader at a place like this, wow, I thought I can do this but now im not so sure anymore ... I have butterflies now Alright fellas Im going to work now see you later Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 (edited) First use some complex terms from biology. I would help ya with it, but I never was good in that subject. If you're going to be a leader, when someone will ask you about something related to micro biology, just tell him: "You should learnd that in school, if you do not know this we should consider to release you from work". And when someone will tells you about result say: "yhmm... It's fascinating...". But to be honest I don't really believe that you got that job... I left the Restaurant Business in 2008, had enough of it (alcohol problems etc) It sounded like a fun job, a project leader at a place like this, wow, I thought I can do this but now im not so sure anymore ... I have butterflies now Alright fellas Im going to work now see you later You ate all the profits ? But if that's true I can only wish you good luck... You'll need this. EDIT: yay, brown belt! Edited October 10, 2013 by zatochi725 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazzypants Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Ha! I really hope this is true because its funny as fuck. I picture you doing much the same job as Homer Simpson in the episode with Hank Scorpio. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3Nis656bJo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlesLeeRay Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 You, sir, will absolutely be in a world of trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darksoul Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Surely if you're as clueless as you claim then something in the interview would have tipped them off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Im thinking this is a joke,but if it isnt... ur screwed lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Castor, as one micro biologist to another all I can say is that ebola tastes like candy corn, if you see any, get in quick before someone else eats it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Castor, as one micro biologist to another all I can say is that ebola tastes like candy corn, if you see any, get in quick before someone else eats it. Nothing tastes so good like ebola, it's just too bloody good. It's No. 1! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viking Posted October 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Alright fellas I just came home from work It started off pretty good (I put some glasses on so I would look smarter and get more credability) but after 10 minutes I realized that I had to introduce myself to the team, I didnt see that one coming to be honest, was talking abit about what I have done in the past and stuff like that, told them that I had been working as a Scientist in the Kings College of London (same as I said in the CV) and that my special area there was Oral bacterial metagenomics and genomics and also Cellular Microbiology -bacterial toxins and host targets ... They seemed pretty impressed considering how young I am (26) ... I Swerved/ducked the questions very good and I sat in the Office all day pretending to work ... I think I will get fired within 2 weeks, but they still have to pay me for the hours when they find out ... Feels good to be working again guys I must say Make peace, not war / Castor 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kole Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 I hope that this isn't a joke because it's funny as hell I'll be waiting to hear more about how you're doing in your new job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 I hope that this isn't a joke because it's funny as hell I'll be waiting to hear more about how you're doing in your new job! Not only you. I wonder how many days it will take before they find out. Maybe tomorrow you will have to participate at an experiment, or something like that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Did you ride a donkey to work in a blizzard towing a car with no wheels whilst Palhares is leg locking you? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
762x39 Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 I don't know if this is real, but it could be. We have a new supervisor trainee at work that claims to have went to West Point. This guy is DUMB, I think he lied but no one knows. Good luck, hope you can pull it off for a couple good days of stories. Main difference is I work in a soy bean mill, not a LAB like that, so nothing my guy can mess up unless he starts a fire, and he is to lazy for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markyosullivan Posted October 10, 2013 Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Do most employers not ask for qualification evidence once you're approached for the job? Also could you not be took up to court if this is actually true? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 11, 2013 Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 Yous dudes are such suckers 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLP Posted October 11, 2013 Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 Yous dudes are such suckers really, i cant believe anyone thinks this is legit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markyosullivan Posted October 11, 2013 Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 Yous dudes are such suckers I know he's probably lieing but then again it's Castor so anything is possible... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
762x39 Posted October 11, 2013 Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 Even if it is a lie, it is still funny. Cant wait to hear the rest of the story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CusDamato Posted October 11, 2013 Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 This guy would be given a plastic knife and fork when he eats, do you really think someone would give him a job sweeping the place let alone "Project Leader at the Micro Biologic institute". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazzypants Posted October 11, 2013 Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 Sure its probably a bullshit story but at least its entertaining. My hope is it ends in a cloud of sexual harassment claims and missing lab equipment. Either that or he gets a promotion. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 11, 2013 Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 I hope the sexual harrassment claims are a result of that missing lab equipment... 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viking Posted October 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 i just came back from work ... Today I sat in the Office playing Chess against the computer for 5 hours, trying my best to look like I know what Im doing (I dont want to surf the web because I suspect that they check what websites I visit) This is my plan ... Obviously I want to be as little involved in this as possible, so on monday Im gonna arrange a meeting and tell the crew (16 people plus me) that each of them will have a personal meeting with me on tuesday (to get 1 day extra time, its not like im busy on monday anyway (lmao)) for 15 minutes each where we will discuss there area of expertise etc etc ... Then I will put 4 teams together with 1 Captain in each team and every friday afternoon these Captains will be meeting me for updates so I can have the weekend to think about what to do depending on what they are saying ... This project is 6 months long and we will see how far I will be involved ... And by the way, in the Lunch Room today, I was sitting there talking in the phone (because I didnt want them to ask me any questions) and I started to think about the movie "Catch Me if You Can" and realized how similiar this is to what this guy in the movie did and felt the laugh coming, tried to stop it but I couldnt so I burst in to laughter and got some odd looks but I dont care to much about that, felt a bit weird tho ... This weekend Im gonna read the entire Wikipedia page about Microbiology (zZZzZ) and come (at least a bit) prepared on Monday ... Alright fellas ... Have a nice weekend and dont drink any alcohol it is very dangerous / Castor 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 11, 2013 Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 After a couple of sentences of reading that I also thought about 'catch me if you can', weeeeird... this is fuckin funny though.... you're alright Castor.... you're aaaalllright.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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