HFC Smack talk

[Guest]

Sorry i didnt see this before guys, but now you can talk all your shit about our upcoming events

[Mannerheim]

Just talked to my guy, Torsti Monivamma, and he had this to say 'bout the upcoming fight against John Mclane.

 

"I'm prepared. I've watched a lot of tapes from John's amateur fights and I have to say I'm not impressed, not impressed at all. He has no ground game.

I am currently 3-0, but I'm confident that after the fight it's gonna be 4-0."

 

As a manager I trust my guy, and I'm willing to bet 50$ for Torsti's victory. That's right, Janakoff 50$ in the table....

[oksentaja]

Now that the first HFC event is getting closer here's what Manager Sergei Janakoff's fighters are saying:

 

John "Die Hard" McClane's comment's on Mr. Monivamma's jibber-jabber

 

"The reason why Torsti Monivamma (what a sad name for fighter) has won three fights in a row is simple: He has never fought with a REAL mannish man. You know the kind with hair on his chest and even on places where a REAL man keeps his guns. What comes to BJJ and other groundworking abilities, i must say that those abilities i only use with ladies. Since i consider big-mouth-Torsti a lady, i'm more than happy to show my skills anywhere this fight should go: standing up or down on the ground. My prediction anyway is that Torsti will get to ground though it's a shame i won't be joining her. Yippee-ki-yay, motherf*cker"

 

Sergei jr. Janakoff comment's

 

"I'm still pretty tired from my last fight. I haven't even checked what my opponent is all about. I guess he tries to make me tap or go to sleep. Either way, i guess that's what i'm trying to do to him. Although i said im tired it doesn't mean anything when i get to the cage. I'm ready and i hope he is too."

 

and last, but not least:

And for Mr. Ryti: I'll take your bet for sure. 50$ for McClane to drop your guy. For the organizer and other managers: Lets have a rockin' event at the Helsinki Fight Club!

[Mannerheim]

Countdown to HFC 1: The Beginnig

 

An interview with Torsti Monivamma.

 

"Hello everyone, I'm Brian McDonald and your watching MMA- Report. Torsti Monivamma has agreed to answer some questions from his upcoming fight and personal life."

 

Brian: "Hello Torsti and welcome to our show."

Torsti: "Thanks, it's a pleasure to be here."

 

B: "So, tell us something 'bout yourself, where did you grow up and when did you start fighting?"

 

T: "I was born in Kokkola, Finland in 1987, but moved to Helsinki when I was around 5. I begun fighting at the age of 11, mostly Judo and Karate, but all my friends were training BJJ, so when I turned 15, I went to watch a training session in a local gym. The transition to BJJ was easy because my friends were there.

I still train with some of those guys, from time to time, but mainly with Johannes Tikkanen, who is from Kokkola also. And we have the same manager, so it's possible."

 

B: "You said that you have trained both Judo and BJJ, what 'bout your standup? You said something 'bout Karate?"

 

T: "My standup is great! I try to write new material evere day. (laughs) No, seriously, I trained Karate few years, but my focus were in the groundgame. When I fought my first amateur match, I got my ass handed to me. I quikly realised, that if I'm gonna make it in MMA, I have to develop some standup technique. So I started to take Boxing and Muay Thai lessons and I think I have improved in those areas. I'm no K-1 fighter, but then again this isn't K-1..."

 

B: "Your next opponent, John Mclane said that the groundgame is for ladys and considers you a one. What you have to say 'bout that?"

 

T: "Did he really say that?"

 

B: "Yes."

T: "..........."

 

B: "And he said that you have not been tested against a solid standup-fighter. And made indications, that you dont have any pubic hair."

 

T: "..........."

 

B: "Any comments?"

 

T: "You know what? That's just the kinda talk, that a man, who hasn't tapped out yet, talks. When I get him in an omoplata, I'm not gonna make him tap. I'll just keep him there and pound his face in! And when the ref is about to step in, I stop. Just to take another submission. Heelhoock, RNC, kimura, juji, you name it, I'll do it to him!

And just when he is about to tap, I'll release him. Just to make sure he gives groundgame the respect, that it deserves!"

 

B: "Okay things are getting a bit heated here, let's join Larry at the studio, where he gives his predictions-----"

T: "You know what I hate!? I hate you reporters, who think they know something about fighting! Look at you, you look like 2 gallons of milk in a shoppingbag! I sould just-----"

 

We interrupt this program due technical problems, we will be right back after the words from our sponsors.

[Mannerheim]

Countdown to HFC 1: The Beginning

 

Last minute interview with Torsti Monivamma

 

"Hello, my name is Larry Mullet and your watching MMA- report."

 

Larry: "I'm with Torsti Monivamma, here in the locker room of Paddy O'Malleys Bar, where he is getting ready to fight John Mclane. So, Torsti, how are you?"

 

Torsti: "I'm good. First off I have to apologize my behavior. The last interview didn't go too well..."

Larry: "Yes. It took seven surgerys to remove the microphone from Brian's, umm... let's just say rear- area...."

 

Torsti:"Heh, well.....I have a little anger management problem... but that's water under the bridge now, and I'm focused in the match ahead of me."

 

Larry:"Can you share something about your gameplan?"

 

Torsti: "Well obviously I will take the fight to the ground. That's no brainer, but what happens there.... well, you just have to wait and see."

 

Larry: "You haven't lost yet in your career, is there a lot of pressure? I mean, has that affected your training?"

 

Torsti: "No. Not at all. I don't think about losing. It's not an option to me, I came here to win."

Larry: "Pretty predictable answers.."

 

Torsti:"Well, if you would ask some interesting questions, I might have some interesting answers! Same lame questions night after night, I'm getting sick of it! I'm sta---"

 

 

We interrupt this program due technical problems, we will be right back after the words from our sponsors.

 

 

[Mannerheim]

HFC 1: The Beginnig - aftermath

"Hi, this is Larry Mullet, I'm here with Torsti Monivamma, who just won his fight, making his record 4-0. Any toughts about the fight?"

 

Torsti: "Yeah, the fight went I predicted. Only thing I was supprised, was that John was the one taking me to the ground. It worked well for me, so I can't complain."

Larry: "What now? You made a leap in the rankings."

 

T: "Well, we have to see. I want more fights, thats for sure, but maybe I'll take some time and train for a while. Anyway, it's not up to me. I fight anyone, anytime!"

 

L: "Congratulations for your victory and good luck to your future"

 

T: "Thanks."

[oksentaja]

HFC 1: The Beginnig - aftermath

 

"Hi, this is Larry Mullet, I'm here with John McClane, who just lost his fight against Torsti Monivamma. Any toughts about the fight?"

 

John: "Well... öö.. Torsti is a tough guy ... on the ground...öö.. I don't know what went through my head when i took him down... Maybe i was too eager to pound his face.. well.. öö.. It didn't happen, so the guy made me pay for my mistake.."

 

Larry: "That was your first loss, what now?"

 

J: " I go drink some beer and get drunk. Monday morning i guess i have some boxing sparring to do. You know.. My manager is already trying to get me another fight. You know.... ööö... you know... I'm not that kind of motherf*cker who starts to think my fight's too much.. you know..

 

L: "That was a really exciting and good match. Thank you John"

 

T: "I guess... Die hard - live free... öö... and get drunk!"

[Mannerheim]

"And we are here again! This is Larry Mullet and you are watching MMA- Report. It has been a busy weekend with UFC 101 and WEC 42. But we will focus on them later on in this program. Now we have Torsti with us here in the studio and we will discuss about last fight and plans for the future. Welcome Torsti."

 

Torsti: "Thank you, it's a pleasure."

 

Larry: "So, you won your last fight, as the viewers might already know, tell us about it."

 

T: "Well as I said in the post-fight interview, I was suprised that John was the one taking the fight to the ground. He got me with couple of punches, but the groundgame is my bread and butter. I won that fight with my BJJ and will win my next fight with it, plain and simple."

 

L: "About your next fight, when is it?"

 

T: "I'm hoping that it would be 27.8, but it's still under offer. I was approached by the organisations owner, well my manager was approached, and he offered a fight.

Of course I agreed, what would you expect me to do? I'm in weight and shape, so I might as well fight."

 

L: "Will we see you fighting for the title? I mean that 27.8 is the HFC IV: Night Of Champions after all..."

 

T: "Nothing is certain, at least for now. I'm ready to fight that night, no matter who I'm facing. It has been difficult to get fighters to sign fight offers against me, but I'm certain someone will step up to the plate. I look at it this way, if a fighter is avoiding difficult fights and just picking up easy ones, he'll become a 'paper tiger'. Sure he has a decent record, but he hasn't fought against anyone serious, just with guys, who have 0-3-0 records."

 

L: "What about your record? You only have 3 QFC fights and just one fight in an organisation."

 

T: "Yes, thats true. But they are all wins. My first fight with Mike Gonzaga went to distance, but after that we developed a game plan for each fight. As my fighting experience grew, I become more calm in the cage. And the calmer I came, the clearer I saw the openings. The ability to adapt my gameplan is my biggest strenght."

 

L: "What would you say is your weak point then?"

 

T: "My tennis, I suck at tennis.(laughs) No, my weak point is my standup. But I'm working on that, and some progres has been made..."

L: "Well that's all the time we have for now. We will talk to you again, when some official announcements has been made. Thank you again, for joining us and good luck"

 

T: "Thanks."

[oksentaja]

Here's what Sergei Janakoff's fighters in the HFC have to say about their upcoming fights:

 

Riku Rauta interview during a hard practice on treadmill:

" I must admit that i'm not in good condition. Somehow it seems that after my head injury my training has been more difficult. I Think this fight against Rupunen is going to be really hard for me, both physical and mental. I'm not saying i'm afraid, just saying that i'll try my best and see where that takes me."

 

Sergei jr Janakoff about he's rematch with Pedro Pedofiili in HFC III

" Last time we fought i wasn't prepared. Did't know Pedro had so much power in he's right. This time it will be different, i refuse to go down even if he'd punch my face to my neck. I want to see what he can do laying on his back. And i want to show my manager, coaches, gym buddies and all the fans that im not that bad as he made me look the last time. I guess Pedro is feeling confident and that's where i'll strike him. Put his cockiness into his...hmm... well you'll see where."

 

John McClane and his toughts about the title fight with Torsti Monivamma in HFC V

" I have heard that Torsti had a hard time finding an opponent for this fight. I dont get it, HFC title and guys are backing down an offer to be the champion. Even tought i just got my ass whipped by Monivamma, and it seems a little strange to offer me this fight, I'm willing to go for it. If i lose, thats it for me in this business.."

[Mannerheim]

"Hello and welcome back. I'm Larry Mullet and sitting, or should I say hovering over the chair, next to me, is Brian McDonald. Brian, it's good to have you with us."

Brian: "Thank you, These few weeks have been difficult to me. I've been laying on my stomach for a month now and I have the bedsores to prove it."

 

Larry: "Ok, let's not go into detail here. Instead we focus on HFC's upcoming events. HFC IV: Night Of Champions is just around the corner. Our first guest is

scheduled to fight in that event. Welcome, Turo Naulakallo."

Turo: "Thank you."

Larry: "You have been known to avoid interviews, is something changed? I mean you being here and all."

 

Turo: "No. Manager tell me, 'Go interview'. I go."

Brian: "Eh...okay. Well it's an honour that you desited to come here. Your career has been a rollercoaster ride so far, win, loss, win, loss. Has it affected you somehow?

Is it difficult to stay focused?"

 

Turo: "Yes. I win, happy. I lose, sad. Manager buy me new clothes. New clothes make me happy again."

 

Larry: "Your next fight is for the title. What do you think about your opponent, Taavi Liisteri?"

 

Turo: "Manager tell me, 'Go fight'. I go."

 

Larry: "Ok, I think that's all we are gonna get out of Turo. It was great to see you, Turo and best of luck to your fight."

 

Turo: "Good."

 

Larry: "Er...yeah.... we'll take a short break and after that, Torsti Monivamma!"

 

Brian: "Great...."

[Mannerheim]

"And were back. I'm Larry Mullet."

 

"And I'm Brian McDonald."

Larry: "Joining us via phone is Torsti Monivamma. Torsti, are you with us?"

 

Torsti: "I'm here. Hello Brian."

 

Brian: "........"

Larry: "And moving on... Torsti, we've heard that you had some difficulties to find an opponent?

 

Torsti: "Yes, that is correct. Luckily Kamiyashi Suzuki, who owns HFC, didn't give up. I am very grateful of that."

Larry: "I'm looking at my papers, and it says that your opponent will be John Mclane. Dare we say, that this is a grudge-match?"

 

Torsti: "On my part, no. How could it be? I won last time, so I have no bad feelings."

 

Brian: "Oh, so we're taking the moral highground..."

 

Torsti: "Excuse me?"

Larry: "Heh, nothing, just some backround noise. Have you been focusing in boxing, you said in our previous interview, that there has been some improvements?"

Torsti: "Well, yeah. Some, but I'm working on my groundwork too, so I try to mix them a litle bit more next time. As you know, my last fight was against John.

He knows my game and I know his. And we all know who's game works better. I'm going to retire him."

Brian: "Cocky bastard..."

 

Torsti: "What? You have something to say to me?! It's easy to talk shi---beeb, beeb, beeb."

Larry: "It seems we've lost Torsti, but join us next time, this is MMA-Report and I'm Larry Mullet."

 

Brian: "And I'm Brian McDonald, good night."

[Mannerheim]

"Welcome to our show, this is MMA-report and I'm Larry Mullet. I'm reporting live from Titty Twister Casino, where HFC afterparty is held. I managed to locate HFC's newest champ, Torsti Monivamma. Congratulations, it must been a huge relief for you?"

 

Torsti: "Heeeeyyy!! It's Laaarryyyy!!! How are you man? *hiccup* I won the belt!! *hiccup* I'm the champ! The C-A-H-M-P! No, that's not right.... c-h-i-m-p?? C-h-...."

 

Larry: "Heh, obviously you are having a good time, can you tell us anything about the fight?"

 

T: "Yeah! He came straight at me *hiccup* and I.... what did I do.... oh, yeah, I took him down and now I'm the champ!! You want a drink? It's free!!"

L: "Yes, that much I figured my self.... Well, it was good to see you and looking forward to your future."

 

T: "Laaarrryyyy!!! *hiccup* Come join us, were in the VIP-room *hiccup* Let's go!"

 

L: "Maybe some other time."

 

"That was Torsti Monivamma, a little intoxicated but happy middleweight champion. Wait... let me see, if I can get mr.Ryti to join us. Mr. Ryti? A few words?"

Ryti: "Of course."

Larry: "Your fighter won the middleweight belt, what was the preparation for this match like?"

R: "Well, I think the pressure was on Torsti. He won the first match against John Mclane and John was something of an underdog in this fight. I think everyone was expecting Torsti to win, so he had to deal with those toughts when training. As you can see, his letting some steam out. (laughs)

As for the preparation, we did some boxing, mostly striking defence and a lot of cardio and weight lifting. We had the priviledge of training specially for an opponent, so we tailored the training schedule to improve the things most likely to be used in the match. And it paid of."

L: "What now? Have you negotiated a new deal with HFC?"

 

R: "Yes, Torsti made a new deal and will be defending his belt in HFC."

 

L: "What about your other fighters? Turo Naulakallo is also fighting in HFC, will we see him also in the future?"

 

R: "Turo has made a deal with HFC. The thing is, Turo is having some problems back home and it's affecting his ability to fight. I wont go to detail here, but when he has them sorted out, we are going to see a new Turo in the cage.

I have couple guys training, real gems, that will make a name for themselves when it's time for them to step in the big league."

L: "Really? Any names?"

 

R: "Well Niilo Tykyraato had some fights and I must say it's looking good. The other is Matti Raivorinta, but his not going to fight for now. Patience is the key."

 

L: "Well looking forward to hear from them, I will now let you join your fighters. This is Larry Mullet, join us next time. Good night!"

[oksentaja]

Sergei Janakoff's weekly press release:

 

"John McClane lost his title match but won't give up fighting. He made a new deal with HFC and is looking forward to his next match against Oovompi Laari at HFC VIII: The Main Event. Training BJJ skills is the main thing he needs to improve and Tigerland gym is a perfect place to do so. Lots of sparring is scheduled and everything looks bright in the future. Also he said that, if he still keeps knocking guys out and nobody is willing to challenge the current champion, he is up for the task. After all, Third time's the charm..."

 

"Sergei jr Janakoff and Hans Gruber have made a new deal with HFC. These contracts are a positive sign from HFC to both of these young fighters to rather stay in a excellent organization than quit too early in the game. A lot of improvement on their skills are showing and as their manager i must say that i expect great things for them in the future."

 

"The word on the street says that Akseli Hammar is joining the impressive roster of Helsinki Fight Club. As of this moment there have been some early negotiations with the organization owners but nothing is certain."

[Mannerheim]

"I'm Larry Mullet and I'm here with Risto Ryti, Torsti Monivamma's manager. Mr. Ryti, Torsti has a fight in HFC IX: Fire in Helsinki and the opponent is going to be Jr Torres. Any toughts?"

Ryti: "Well, it's going to be a classical 'wrestler vs boxer'-match. Torres has some heavy hands, that's for sure. But we are confident that Torsti is capable of avoiding those bombs. We've watched some tapes of Torres fight, and he seems to be a very agressive fighter. I think counterstriking may be the key."

Larry: "Yes, Torres has ko'd 3 of his opponents so far. How do you prepare for a guy like that?"

 

Ryti: "It's all in the weight. You dont' want to drop your weight too low, because you'll get knocked out easier, when you drain all the fat from your body. Sure, you'll lose it from your waist, but you lose it also from your brain."

Larry: "Brain? Does this mean that fighters lose their IQ, when they cut weight?"

 

Ryti: "*laughs* I don't know about that, but it's proven that when you cut weight, the tissue around your brain becomes more thinner and you increase the risk of getting ko'd. That's why we try to keep our fighters just under the weight limit."

Larry: "Interesting... We'll take a short break now, join us after the break when we'll talk more wihth Mr.Ryti."

[Guest]

thes posts are all ways fun to read..thanks guys

[Mannerheim]

"And we're back. During our commercial break Mr.Ryti got a call from one of his fighters and stormed out of the studio. Our sources tell us that it was Turo Naulakallo.

What was the emergency, we don't know yet.

Because of Mr.Ryti's early departure, we have some extra time to use with our next guest, Torsti Monivamma. Welcome Torsti."

 

Torsti: "Thank you for having me. It has become a ritual to come here to talk before my fights. It would be strange not to appear in MMA-report."

 

Larry: "We are honoured. So tell us how your life has changes since you won the title?"

 

T: "First of all, I never leave my house without it. I wear it to the grocery store, to the bank and I walk around my house wearing it."

 

L: "You certainly do, we have a photo of you."

 

Torsti

 

T: "Heh... you don't believe the amount of tail I get with that thing..."

 

L: "I can imagine... About that, I've heard rumours that you have been spending some time with a certain young lady. A talented singer...?"

 

T: "Yes, I've spend some time with a certain _blonde_ Lady, if that's what you mean..."

 

L: "Any comments of her being a hermaphrodite?"

 

T: "Herma-what?"

 

L: "Hermaphrodite."

 

T: "What the f*ck is that?"

 

L: "Krhm.. you know an individual, that haves both male and female genitalia..."

 

T: "......."

 

L: "Are you alright? You're looking a bit pale."

 

T: "Oh my god.....oh my god.....oh my god...."

L: "Okay, looks like it's best to go to a commercial break... join us next time!"

 

[Guest]

S.Heilimö just signed with HFC

[Guest]

Wonderful tactics from my opponent: http://www.mmatycoon.com/fightcommentary.php?FTID=60475

 

Tikki is my fighter. I bet the audience booed their lungs off. IM SO GLAD that takedown and sub spam got fixed! And that was a title fight duh... Im waiting for the rematch. Gonna KTFO this fool.

[Mannerheim]

"Hello, this is MMA-report. I'm Larry Mullet and here with me is ex-middleweight champion, Torsti Monivamma. Welcome Torsti."

 

Torsti: "Thank you, good to be here."

 

Larry: "We haven't heard from you in a long time, what have you been doing?"

 

T: "Well, as you mentioned, I am the ex-champion. That has forced me to evaluate some aspects of my life. No more long nights in the club for me..."

 

L: "Any changes in your training? I recall you talking about improving your boxing many times."

 

T: "Actually, no. My training schedule hasn't changed. I'm happy in the areas I'm developing, so there's no need to make those changes. The game has

changed, and you must evolve, if you don't you'll start losing fights."

L: "Yes, there has been some, in my opinion, improvements. How are you going to take advantage in those changes?"

 

T: "Well, I'm getting to the point, where I'm confident enough to let my hands go. But when the fight goes to the ground, you can bet your b*lls, that I'm

going to swarm my opponent with sub attempts. There's a lot of money involved, and I'm not going to risk it by trying to do something flashy."

L: "Torsti, are you a subspammer?"

 

T "....."

 

L: "Well?"

 

T: "Yes and no. Do I want to take the fight to the ground, when I know I'm going to win there, yes. Do I try to mix it up, to get better fight ratings and hype, yes.

I'ts a double-edged sword, you want to win your fights and in the other hand, you try to please the audience."

L: "What about your next opponent, Antti Tuisku?"

 

T: "Well, I know that he has some TKO's under his belt and likes to g'n'p. Keeping that in mind, if the fight goes to the ground, I better not be under him."

 

L: "And he is undefeated..."

 

T: "So was I..."

L: "Good point. Well good luck with the fight, it was good to see you again."

 

T: "Thank you, I must say, that part of me thinks I lost my last fight because I didn't do an interview with you guys. Now that's covered and I'm ready to get back to

winning streak. Oh, and one other thing, please visit my sponsor Takomo clothing, the owner is trying to get some award, I think there's more info in the comppany's

page."

[oksentaja]

Wonderful tactics from my opponent: http://www.mmatycoon.com/fightcommentary.php?FTID=60475

 

Tikki is my fighter. I bet the audience booed their lungs off. IM SO GLAD that takedown and sub spam got fixed! And that was a title fight duh... Im waiting for the rematch. Gonna KTFO this fool.

 

Dear god!

I hoped that Tatu Tikki would win the rematch but look what happened, more of that beautiful sub spamming. I hope my guys don't have to face Marcus Hansen. It seems he doesn't know when to pass out and get KO'd.

John McClane and Antti Tuisku are taking a fight in HFC XX and i guess the winner will face Mr. Hansen for the title. Somebody must knock him out.