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Things Heat Up Between Martel and Lunar


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It's no secret that things are heating up between former SYN, Ascension, SFO Montreal, EFC, and Eminence Champion Charles Martel and future opponent Lucas "Porks Pigs" Lunar. The two camps have gone back and forth with one another in the media, which you can see here, here, and here, and seem to be doing their very best to ensure the other camp knows exactly how they feel about each other.

 

TNZ.com recently bumped in to a very intoxicated Charles Martel and the resulting conversation was something a promoter dreams of. Here's the highlights...

 

When asked about Lunar's current status as a free agent.

 

"Listen guy, can I call you guy?, fuck you I'll call you whatever I fucking want cock knuckle. HA! That's not even a thing, you're not real. What the fuck? You're not real?? That shit kicked in fast..."

 

After being reminded of the initial questions about free agency.

 

"Oh. Yea. Right. Listen guy, Lunar is a little sissy pants bitch boy. Same as all those lady boys you fucks accuse me of spending time with in Thailand. I'm signed for SYN. Period. He knows where I'm at, and he said he was coming to get me. I mean this dude called ME out. Which is pretty fucked up considering he's a fucking welterweight and all but whatever man I'll fight anyone."

 

When asked which division the fight would likely take place in.

 

"Like I give a fuck."

 

When we inquired about the child endangerment issues raised by Groovemonkey.

 

"I'm not supposed to talk about that due to the investigation."

 

Talking about his last fight, against Mr. Bronze a training partner of Lunar's who shares the same manager.

 

"That creepy fucker kept backing his bootyhole up on my fingers. Shit was weird man."

 

On why he has a fight booked now and what that means for this potential Lunar fight.

 

"Hang on one second, I've gotta take a piss."

 

Martel walks down an alley and starts pissing beside a dumpster.

 

"Of course I took a fight. Does anyone actually think Lunar is gonna get signed to SYN? And secondly what are the chances he accepts the fight contract to fight me?... Oh yea. Just like that."

 

This is where things took a turn from the weird to the flat out bizarre. Our reporter peered around the side of the dumpster to see who Mr. Martel was talking to and from his vantage point it appeared that Charles was receiving fellatio from an old homeless lady who must live beside this particular trash bin.

 

His response when we asked.

 

"What? This old broad? She's always here. Why the fuck do you think I came here to piss? Quick leak and a BJ. No better way to end a night in my opinion."

 

At this point our reporter decided it was time to make his exit. His final question was with regards to Martel's seeming dip into the "gutter" if you will and how he was able to keep his away from the cage antics quiet for so long.

 

"Torres. It all started coming to light during the build up to, and after the first Skid Torres fight. I figured, fuck it man, this is me. Love me or hate me I'm gonna be me. I booze, I bang, and I fight in a cage for money. I never claimed to be a fucking role model."

 

And with that our reporter slowly backed away down the alley as Martel turned his attention back to his "date."

 

 

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Louie DePalma To Testify Before US Senate

http://img.deseretnews.com/images/article/midres/1294191/1294191.jpg

By Walter Sobchak

2/19/2014

WASHINGTON DC - It came as a shock to the MMA world when famed Syncronicity owner Louie DePalma abruptly stepped down from the biggest org in MMA history to run a supplement company in Sydney. A man, seemingly on top of the world stepped down without notice after rebuilding the brand back to international prominence. We have now learned that the seemingly invincible fortress of DePalma was nothing more than a house of cards.

 

Louie DePalma got his start as the nice guy in Sydney and today is it's most beloved son. After taking AXF as far as it could go he decided to leave the island and swim with the sharks. He quickly became chummy with a group known equally for their prowess in the cage and the bedroom, The International Cocksmen. It was through this alliance that DePalma discovered the true price of success and fame, fighters with addictions as large as their egos and managers who will do anything to stay on top. It one of these managers, Chuck Grace, who almost brought down the empire completely.

 

The large living of Chuck Grace's fighter Charles Martel is the stuff of legends. But all of that hard living came with a price, and that price was massive debts to various cartels the world over. When you live the way Martel does you don't think anything can knock you from your perch, but Russian mobsters tend to view things a bit differently. Due to the massive debt he acquired gambling and buying underage hookers, the mod decided to make a statement. Chuck Grace was kidnapped in St. Pete's and raped before being told that Martel had better come up with the cash.

 

Now both scared for their lives, Grace and Martel worked out a deal to throw fight in Syn so that the Russians could make the debts back through gambling in Syn's bookie. The first fight was the Gary Bunn fight, in which those who picked the underdog Bunn to win made a fortune. Everything was going well and Martel even made sure to win a fight to dispel any suspicion as to his sudden drop off. The amount of money everyone was making was staggering, so much so that DePalma wanted in and had one of his own fighters, Frank Rizzo Jr, get in on the work. What they didn't realize was how bad a fixed fight looks when both fighters are in on it and the jig was up. Caught with their pants down both managers instantly went into panic mode.

 

Grace decided it would be best to pin everything on Louie Depalma, saying he was coerced into taking countless dives. Left with no other options Louie DePalma sold Syn as fast as possible and fled back to Sydney, bruised and battered from what the sharks had did to him. With all of the athletic commissions and casino's involved, as well as the massive fraud charges facing him, Louie DePalma will testify before the United States Senate before the rest of his fate is decided. The rest now is all speculation as we try and figure out what all of this means for MMA. Will Depalma stay silent and take his time, or will he take a deal and bring others down with him. This journalist is guessing the latter with the outing of org owners who have been illegally poaching fighters at the very top of the sport, but for now we just have to wait and see how the rest of the cards fall.

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Please allow me to make a statement on these outrageous accusations...

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdanw2habe1rn1mvio1_500.jpg

And I would then like to follow that up with this...

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b137/chasc5/liar-liar-pants-on-fire.jpg

Now I would like to close things out with this...Mr CGrace you can...

http://th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2011/167/9/6/kiss_my_ass___cartman_by_belal_b3-d3j3lxv.png

Thank you all for your time...

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No, he'll learn all about then soon enough.

 

Haha I see what you did there.

 

The only one who has any splainin to do it would be you Mr Chuck "Liar Liar" Grace

 

I'm rubber you're glue...

 

Whose side are you on??

Groove and I are boys yo, better check yoself bro.

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I happen to have a fighter in that division. You may be hearing from Mr. Bronze

I am not afraid of a manager who dosen't even know in which division his fighter is fighting.

 

http://i57.tinypic.com/r7szlk.png

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  • 2 weeks later...

http://simitator.com/images/2014-03-08/s7ibl.jpg


http://i1010.photobucket.com/albums/af224/ProudFC/Screenshot2014-03-08at112142AM_zps7efe1c23.png


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