There's a wind blowing...a powerful wind that heralds a storm.

[Guest]

Today's the day!

 

 

Before we get started with the last batch of interviews, here's a couple more fine sponsors!

http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1253101216logo%20v1.jpg

http://mmatycoon.com/images/1242756405roughhouse.jpg,

This event wouldn't be possible without our sponsors, so check them out! Now on to the interviews.

 

Our first stop is the beachfront house of Smarky Malarkey. As the interview starts, Smarky appears bleary and out of it. He's wearing a ratty robe and winces at any noise. Domestic help scurries around us, he pays no attention to them. Despite his obvious hangover and general dissolute condition he sits with splayed legs, displaying both a high level of confidence and heart covered boxer shorts.

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/26/26w26.jpg

 

Q.: Smarkey, you are something of the Cinderella story of this tournament. You are the lightest fighter still remaining. If Hung Dong wins his match, you could be giving up as much as 61 pounds. That’s a lot of weight!

 

Bro, you think I care about 61 pounds? I lift more than that every time I take a piss. Next!

 

Q.: The other element that makes yours a Cinderella story is that you are comparatively unknown fighter. You entered the TYPHOON with no professional experience, yet here you are in the semi-final. What would you like to say to other MMA hopefuls that would like to break onto the scene?

 

Don’t bother, dudes! I’m already here. When the best has arrived, the rest stay home. It’s like when I’m out there ridin’ the waves, some townie tries to get in the surf and catch some action too, all I do is make him look bad, knowhatI’msayin’?

 

Hey, are these all going to be boring questions? I got better things to do than talk to you, paunchy.

 

Q.: Well, that’s pretty rude of you. Just because you came from a wealthy family doesn’t mean you can treat sport journalists like that. And please ask your girlfriend to remove her tongue from my ear, it’s very distracting.

 

Hahaha, I don’t have a “girlfriend”. You can’t tie a playah down like that. I’m way too much man for any one girl. She’s just the one I buy my powder from, see?

 

Q.: Be that as it may, I still have questions to ask you. A lot of other fighters get into MMA because they see no other options in life. With your family’s resources, you could do whatever you want. Why fighting?

 

I’ve always known that I was better than other people. When you get in the ring you can prove it. Sure, you can already tell that I’m better than most people – look at my car, my clothes, the bitchin’ babes I bang, but when you’re shaking some dude's blood off your gloves – that’s 100% proof, y’see?

 

Q.: This is the last question, thank god. Your opponent, Keiji Hashimoto, had a very emotional after-fight speech at Hyper Typhoon Round 2. Does his grief affect your feelings about the fight?

 

He did who and the what now? I don’t care what some crazy Japanese guy did when he lost or something. Everybody’s parents die man, I’m hoping mine do soon, I’m gonna get some fat cash. I wasn’t even watching that weepy bitch, I was busy nailing the screaming Pride announcer chick. You think she’s loud in the arena!

 

I can’t believe you would say that, I’m offended and both my parents are still alive. If you win in this round, they’re going to have to find someone else to interview you next time. Thank God the next person is the favorite - Hung Dong. I'm looking forward to meeting someone gracious after the psychopath and the surfer boy. I sit down with Hung at the nearly empty warehouse where he trains. His handlers stand nearby, ready with restraints and tasers. Maybe he trains attack dogs? Not sure what they're doing here.

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/30/30w13.jpg

 

Q.: Hung, you originally entered this tournament as something of an underdog. Your first opponent was a natural heavyweight and when you agreed to fight him he was 3-0. What was going through your mind when you stepped into the cage for that first fight?

 

PIES!

 

Q.: Well, I could see how that could motivate anyone. (What?) After defeating Atilla Leopoldo, you leapt from being an underdog to being a tournament favorite. A lot of people are saying that this thing is yours to lose. How are you bearing up under the pressure?

 

ARGG!

 

Q.: Okay, touchy subject. You’ve been putting in a lot of time at Rio Combat Grappling. How is the training going for this fight?

 

GRRR!

 

Q.: Woah, calm down! Just a few more questions. Your next fight is against Gouda Swanson. Gouda has an extensive record as an amateur boxer and excellent wrestling credentials. What is your game plan going into the fight?

 

SMASH!

 

Q.: I know this question is somewhat unprofessional, but what on earth is that smell?

 

MY MOTHER!

 

Q: Oh, well. Phew. That is strong! I just…my eyes are tearing up a bit…looks like the next question is “whatever you do, don’t ask him about his mother”, wait that isn’t right?

 

SMASH!

 

Editor's Note: This article was assembled from notes received from our reporter. He is currently on leave while he is convalescing at Mercy General Hospital. Everyone here at the RHOE sends our heartfelt wishes out to him, get better guy!

 

And that completes the interviews. The event is in less than an hour! That's the perfect time for a new poster! Click on it to see the event.

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv258/GrifterX9/posterrnd3.jpg

[Guest]

More hilarity from the guys at RHOE here. Simply an awesome org to be a part of

[Guest]

Love it. Thanks for the plug, by the way! Hopefully I can get one of my fighters into HYPER TYPHOON 2.

[Guest]

Love it. Thanks for the plug, by the way! Hopefully I can get one of my fighters into HYPER TYPHOON 2.

That probably will happen, but it's a long way off. All the RHOE's tournament energy will be going into the Middleweight Championship Tournament that will be starting immediately after the HYPER TYPHOON ends.

[Guest]

And we're back!

 

First, some music to get you in the mood.

 

 

I feel pumped...and adorable.

 

In two days, the last two competitors will throw down in a tremendous battle.

 

On this side, that titan of destruction, still searching for the ring that killed his mother HUUUUUUUUNG DONG!

 

Check out this highlight of Hung in action.

 

 

Damn, that's brutal.

 

Will anyone stop him? Can anyone stop him?

 

I know one man who thinks so. It's the cold calculating killer - Keiji HA - SHI - MATOOOOOOO!

 

 

Watch out for your tendons when this guy is around!

 

In two days time they will collide in the 6,000 seat Flamengo Arena. We're going to sell out every seat of that place, so get your tickets before you have to get them on stubhub. More info to come, watch for it!

[Guest]

It's the big day! The final is upon us.

 

HYPER TYPHOON FINAL: The Perfect Storm

 

You just need to imagine this

 

 

crossed with this. (If you haven't seen that second video, watch it now for it is amazing.)

 

 

First, a brief history of how they got here.

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/30/30w13.jpg

 

Hung "The Masticator" Dong comes to us by way of Daego, South Korea. At 211 pounds and with a record of 4-2 on entering the tournament, he was the 3rd seed. He started the tournament by destroying the first seed, 4-1 heavyweight Atila Leopoldo. He then pounded out Shark-Jitsu expert Brandon Dureon and the former amateur boxing champ Gyolda Swanson. Hung is the heavy favorite going into this bout.

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/9/9w20.jpg

 

But odds don't mean a thing to Keiji Hashimoto. Displaying the international flavor of the RHOE, Keiji comes to us from Osaka Japan. He entered the tournament coming off a loss to the RHOE's dominant lightweight champ, Alan Florian. Since then he has fought back against the odds every step of the way - in order to reach the final he has knocked off the 16th, 15th, and 5th seeds. His own seed was 13, and here is in the final! This tournament is not about size but spirit, and Keiji's is a dark flame that may burn Hung out of his path.

 

Now a review of the prizes! The awards ceremony will be after the fights.

 

• Top Winner - 3K Berserker Sponsorship, five clothing items from Blueprint Clothing, 10K cold hard cash!
• 2nd place - Free month at Rio Combat Grappling. 3 free clothing items from Blueprint Clothing.
• 3rd place - Free month at Rough House.
• Best rated fight - Free month at Casa Dos Campeos.
• Win against the largest odds - 3K Berserker Sponsorship.

 

Let's take one last look at weight.

 

Hung Dong - 211 pounds of steaming Korean power.

 

Keiji Hashimoto - 151 pounds, but he really only needs his hands and legs to heel hook you.

 

That give us a difference of a startling 29%! In our final match, we are also setting a new record for the largest weight difference! Good luck Keiji, damn.

 

So get ready...the TYPHOON IS HERE!

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/posters/tyhpoonfinalposter.jpg

[Guest]

Hung Dong has stated that his plan is to use the other human in the ring to smash into the ring as a weapon. He believes this shows he is resourceful and will defeat the ring.

[Guest]

Wow the finale, this should be good.

 

I dont feel my contribution is big enough for the prize pool, and because I am doing quite well I think I should up it a little.

 

Ill offer 25 items for the winner and 15 for the runner up. Thats a bit better. Just let me know what you would like after the event

 

Goodluck and good fights!

[Guest]

Paging managers, go to the BPC page and choose yer stuffs

[Guest]

And the final is complete! Now, the national anthem of the winning fighter.

 

 

Hung Dong overwhelmed Keiji Hashimoto in a five round classic. The fight was a tremendous hit with the crowd. Keiji was well on his way to a decision, having won 3 of the previous 4 rounds with a combination of dominant standup and powerful ground and pound. Despite the quality of the previous four rounds, the action in the fifth overshadowed them all. Hashimoto pulled off an amazing Nogueira style sweep to take the mount, only to see his back taken in a powerful display of Jiu Jitsu by Dong. Keiji refused to be finished and turned into Dong's guard, but then Dong moved into mount again, passing the guard of a tired Hashimoto. There his true power showed, as he showered down blows on his opponent. In the end the referee separated them, and Dong became the HYPER TYPHOON champion!

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/30/30w13.jpg

The champ!

 

As his prize, Dong received $10,000 in cash from the RHOE, as well as 3K in sponsorship money from Berserker Nutrition and 25 free items of clothing from Blueprint Clothing.

 

That's not the end of our prizes though!

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/9/9w20.jpg

Second place in the tournament, first place in courage.

 

Keiji Hashimoto, despite his loss, still took home an excellent haul of prizes. He receives TWO months of free training at Rio Combat Grappling, the most elite gym in Rio. He also won an additional prize - and really the most important prize in the tournament. His fight with Marcello Magalhaes was the fight with the largest weight disadvantage that was won by the smaller fighter. He also receives an additional 3K sponsorship from Berserker Nutrition. Keiji deserves to take a bow.

 

Third place in the tournament is kind of subjective, but I have decided to award it to Gouda Swanson. Gouda lost in the semi-final to Hung Dong and put on an excellent fight in the process, pulling down a 100% rating. Plus, the other Semi-final loser, Smarky Malarkey, is kind of a dick. Screw that guy. Gouda takes home a free month of training at Rough House.

 

Finally, Casa Dos Campeões requested the creation of a special award for the most highly rated fight. The winner of the prize is the winner of the most highly rated fight. The RHOE is always looking to improve the experience of our fans, so we happily agreed to create a special award. There were several fights in contention to for the award.

 

Hung Dong v. Keiji Hashimoto

Hung Dong v. Gouda Swanson

Smarkey Malarkey v. Azad Naja

Will Hardy v. Tucker Johnson

 

Every one of them, a classic. The stipulation of the CDC was that the winning fight would be the one with the highest percentage of successful non-clinch standing strikes. After consulting with the judges, I have to call someone back up on the stage - the winners is Hung Dong! The climactic final also had the most accuracy in standing strikes! Way to go, both Hung and Keiji. So in addition to the prizes he has already received, Hung is now the recipient of eight weeks of free training at the CDC.

 

That's the end of our prizes, and the end of our event. I hope you enjoyed it. By the end, this thread had received over 3,000 views so you were part of a large crowd!

 

Let's hear one more round of applause for all the brave fighters, big and small, who put it all on the line!

 

 

This is the end of the HYPER TYPHOON, but not the end of the great events put on by the RHOE. Even as this event comes to a close, another is opening. I'll see you on the other side.

[Guest]

Hung Dong truly is a monster.

[Guest]

Hung Dong truly is a monster.

He really is. With the short time between the various matches it pretty much means he beat on everybody with no time to train specifically for them. Once he's got that, he'll really be dangerous. His next fight is a shot at the 205 belt, that fight should be good.

[Guest]

Finally, Casa Dos Campeões requested the creation of a special award for the most highly rated fight. The winner of the prize is the winner of the most highly rated fight. The RHOE is always looking to improve the experience of our fans, so we happily agreed to create a special award. There were several fights in contention to for the award.

 

Hung Dong v. Keiji Hashimoto

Hung Dong v. Gouda Swanson

Smarkey Malarkey v. Azad Naja

Will Hardy v. Tucker Johnson

Maybe I'm doing the math wrong, but I actually think Will Hardy is the recipient of 8 weeks free at the CDC. Hardy's striking percentage with punches and kicks in the stand-up outside of the clinch is 5/21=23.8%. Hung Dong's striking percentage in the championship fight is 1/5=20%.

[Guest]

October 30th, 2009. RIO DE JANEIRO, BRASIL (AP) - A shocking controversy is now swirling around the judging in the HYPER TYPHOON MMA Tournament. Charlie Foxtrot, the owner of Casa Dos Campeões and a sponsor of the event came forward to make a statement to the press. "I could no longer stand by silently" said Mr. Foxtrot "I was in attendance at all the fights in contention for the special CDC prize and there was simply no way Hung Dong landed more standing strikes than Mike Hardy did in his fight with Tucker Johnson." The Associated Press was able to reach The Rio Home O' Eroticism owner Turd Furgeson for comment. Mr. Furgeson has been staying at a heavily fortified compound deep in the mountains of Colombia since the award ceremony. "We may have fudged a number here or there, but you have to recognize the amount of pressure that was placed on me. I don't know how Konstantin Korsakov managed it, but that Dong guy was standing right behind me! He's shaped like an angry refrigerator. And the smell! It's like there's kimchi coming out of his pores. Look, give the gym membership to whoever you want. I think Will Hardy actually did deserve the award. Just keep that Dong freak away from me!"

 

Despite the controversy over event judging, the RHOE's middlweight tournament is continuing as scheduled, with the second stage of the tournament taking place at Rio's Hard Knocks on November 6th.

[Guest]

Hardy was later quoted as saying: I won! I won! I'm the best, I'm the best evah! In your face, Gouda Swanson! Wooo!

before doing the Ric Flair strut while promising some blonde bombshell to take her to Space Mountain.

His manager, "Clever" Hans Schmidt was for once at a loss for words.

[djohn]

Now we need to see who the Undisputed Open Weight Champion is:

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilemanager.php?FID=4402

[THEASSTRUCK]

Hardy was later quoted as saying: I won! I won! I'm the best, I'm the best evah! In your face, Gouda Swanson! Wooo!

before doing the Ric Flair strut while promising some blonde bombshell to take her to Space Mountain.

His manager, "Clever" Hans Schmidt was for once at a loss for words.

 

When reached for a comment Gouda Swanson took 30 minutes to pound out this message to the internet: "You think the speed of your fingers can match the strength of my fists?"

 

 

Regarding Will Hardy winning the CDC training he got a sour expression on his face and said "Now he go train with Gyolda over there, they can train each other in new exciting way of how to lose fight"

[Guest]

Now we need to see who the Undisputed Open Weight Champion is:

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilemanager.php?FID=4402

First of all, Dong's not afraid of that guy in the slightest, or any other fighter. (He's too dumb.) Second, he's busy training for his future decimation of Joey Tuffnuts, the RHOE 205 champ. Who knows what might happen after that?

 

(I was actually considering doing an RHOE OW GP2 with the winner taking on Dong in a SUPERFIGHT, but that's a long way away. Maybe he could fit a brutal beating for Solomon Carver in there somewhere.)

[djohn]

First of all, Dong's not afraid of that guy in the slightest, or any other fighter. (He's too dumb.) Second, he's busy training for his future decimation of Joey Tuffnuts, the RHOE 205 champ. Who knows what might happen after that?

 

(I was actually considering doing an RHOE OW GP2 with the winner taking on Dong in a SUPERFIGHT, but that's a long way away. Maybe he could fit a brutal beating for Solomon Carver in there somewhere.)

 

 

Wow! Looks like the only powerful wind ablowing is coming out of your piehole. A Forceful storm of excuses it brings with it

 

 

Carver loves fighting the Retards that are too stupid to be scared. It so much more satisfying to put a charging Boar down than a fleeing Deer. I'm sure you can find someway to get ahold of me should his "busy" schedule make room. I promise it won't take long.

[j666]

bump for O.G. RHOE!