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Rio Chain Gang 270+


trickydick

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I am Ynve Stolt but all of you lower human beings can cal me "Prince" untill i demand to be called "KING"

I have decided to start my journey to become the tycoon world leader here in Rio chain gang and are ready to take over the 170 ibs division.

 

Im having my first fight in RCG against "Lord" Bman Olot. Olot you will be begging on your knees for mercy in the first round.

After that fight im looking at a bunch of peasants standing in my way.

Sean "Tornado" Taylor. 8-0 record is impressive and if you want to keep that 0 run.

Gary "Goat" Glover. your nickname is Goat and i could not agree more you are a goat.

Chevie "Ragdoll" Case. God damn you are uggly.

Tupa Dufu. I just cant wait to knock you out.

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I am Gary Glover, and they call me "goat" because I'll eat anything.

Stolt, the only reason you wear all that jewelry and those fancy robes is to hide your true ugliness. I can't wait until the day comes when when we meet in the cage. You'll be coming out even uglier if that is possible.

Notice to the rest of you in the 170 division. The goat is here and he is ready to chew his way through the ranks.

You want some, come get some.

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Gary Glover im going to tell you a story.
Once there was a hungry little goat. One day the hungry little goat saw a apple tree with a big tasty apple hanging in it. But In the shadows from the apple tree there was a big lion taking a nap. The hungry little goat wanted the apple so bad and tried to sneak past the sleeping lion. Im not going in to any details here but that goat is dead now.
I want you to take a moment to think about this sad story and i hope you will learn something from it.
/ Best regards "Prince" Stolt.
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  • 3 weeks later...

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Chevie "Ragdoll" Case

 

OK Stolt, it's you and me now. This is my belt and you'll never get it from me. I respect your talent, and if you can beat me I will bow down before you and call you king right here in front of everyone. BUT, when I win then you should come back here and bow down before the true king.

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Chevie "Ragdoll" Case

 

OK Stolt, it's you and me now. This is my belt and you'll never get it from me. I respect your talent, and if you can beat me I will bow down before you and call you king right here in front of everyone. BUT, when I win then you should come back here and bow down before the true king.

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"Prince" Yngve Stolt

I must say you'r ground game is impressive you'r are a true submission artist.

Unfortunately for you, you have to take me down first and you cant do that with out my permission.

This fight you are going to fight standing.

You are no match for me standing and i am going to kick you around like a "Ragdoll" inside that octagon.

26 of december you will bow down and call me KING.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Mr "HaHAhAhaHA" Joker (272393)

Ladies and Gentlemen! You've read about him in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: Mr. Chuvalo, the average man. Physically unremarkable, he instead possesses a deformed set of values. Notice the hideously bloated sense of humanity's importance. Also note the club-footed social conscience and his withered optimism. It's certainly not for the squeamish, is it? Most repulsive of all, are his frail and useless notions of order and sanity. If too much weight is placed upon them... they snap. How does he live, I hear you ask? How does this poor pathetic specimen survive in today's harsh and irrational environment? I'm afraid the sad answer is, "Not very well." Faced with the inescapable fact that human existence is mad, random, and pointless, after I beat him senceless he'll crack up and go stark slavering buggo! Who can blame him? In a world as psychotic as this... any other response would be crazy!

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Mr "HaHAhAhaHA" Joker

 

Anyone seen George Chuvalo yet? I warn you, he may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you, he really is an idiot! HaHAhAhaHA! C'mon, Georgie, get crazy. It's the only way to beat me! HaHAhAhaHA! Joker here! Let me remind all new residents of Joker Asylum that they are expected to follow one simple rule. Punishment for not following this rule is death. No ifs, ands or buts. You know what the best thing is about the rule? It's a secret! Ha ha!

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"Prince" Yngve Stolt

Chevie "Ragdoll" Case
Wow you sure can take a beating. I dont know what it is but after that win i didn't feel any satisfaction at all. Maby its beacuse i didn't end the fight earlier or the fact that you messed up my hairdo. Anyway good luck in your next fight.
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"Prince" Yngve Stolt

Teppo Tavi, unfortunately for you it looks like the honor is mine to welcome you to RCG.
Dont worry im going to make this a quick one and end the fight in the first round.
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  • 2 weeks later...

Mr Joker



"The guy goes into the hospital, okay? His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and he says, 'Oh, Doc, I've been so worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form. You're one lucky guy.' So the guy rushes into the maternity ward with his flowers. But it's empty. His wife's bed is empty. 'Doc?' He says and turns around and the doctor and all the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face. 'April fools! Your wife's dead and the baby's a spastic!!' (he executes an asylum orderly with a gunshot to the head) Get it? Oh what a senseless waste of human life!


Mr Berry; I heard a little birdie saying it me and you, Mano e Mano. Welcome to the madhouse, Bobby! I set a trap and you sprang it gloriously! Now let's get this party started. I like you Berry. What you lack in brains, you make up in heart. Oh, and speaking of heart I'll eat yours for breakfast. [laughs] Tell me, Babadou. What are you really scared of? Failing to win in front of this cesspool of a city? Being taken down like the bitch you are? Me, in a thong?! [begins laughing hysterically

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Babadou Barry

 

 

So Mr Joker, it's you and me. When the fight is over, there will be me and a broken shell of a man on his knees crying like a 6 year old girl. Why is it Joker that you don't post your picture, could it be that you know if you did that everyone would lose their lunch because you are so ugly?

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"Prince" Yngve Stolt

Teppo Tavi i told you that i would finish the fight in the first round and im not the kind of guy walking around telling lies.
You showed some guts taking this fight and credit to you for that.
The outcome were bound to happen, no one can stop the prophecy.
And Still. ...

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Mr Joker


Rememberings dangerous. I find the past such a worrying, anxious place. The Past Tense, I suppose youd call it. Memorys so treacherous. One moment youre lost in a carnival of delights, with poignant childhood aromas, the flashing neon of puberty, all that sentimental candy-floss the next, it leads you somewhere you dont want to go. Somewhere dark and cold, filled with the damp ambiguous shapes of things youd hoped were forgotten. Memories can be vile, repulsive little brutes. Like children I suppose. But can we live without them? Memories are what our reason is based upon. If we cant face them, we deny reason itself! Although, why not? We arent contractually tied down to rationality! There is no sanity clause! So when you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, heading for the places in your past where the screaming is unbearable, remember theres always madness. Madness is the emergency exit you can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away forever.


Oh, yes! Fill the churches with dirty thoughts! Introduce honesty to the White House! Write letters in dead languages to people you've never met! Paint filthy words on the foreheads of children! Burn your credit cards and wear high heels! Asylum doors stand open! Fill the suburbs with murder and rape! Divine madness! Let there be ecstasy, ecstasy in the streets! Laugh and the world laughs with you!


Mr Berry;[begins laughing hysterically] Well, look who it is. I haven't seen you for... how long as it been? Let's see, there was an asylum, some monsters, and oh, that's right! I left you to die in the octagon. Now you probably don't remember it that way, but who cares? You just need to worry about the bombs. Hurry up, now. Clock's ticking.


Mr Chuvalo; I hear you want a rematch... 5! ...4! ...3! ...2! ...1! See you soon, Georgie ...What are you waiting for? We both know how this is going to turn out: you're going to come and find me. You can't stop yourself, can you? Sometimes I wonder if all this would just end with one of us looking down at the other's corpse, trying to work out what to do next? The only question is, whose body will it be? I know who I'm rooting for! [giggles] What about you? [laughs madly] Now, get out of there and challenge me, or you'll ruin everything!!!

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Mr Joker


Good evening, Troops! This is General J here, with a quick update on what's going on down here in Arkham City. As you can see, I'm looking much better. In fact, ohhh, I think I'm looking better than ever! Ha! Oh, I can hear you all now: "How did this happen?" "Can I get me some of that crazy cure?" "Oh, I want answers, damn it! NOW!" Well, here's the thing. Answers don't give you everlasting satisfaction, sometimes you have to brace yourself for disappointment. Now think about it. Imagine your favorite TV show. You've been through it all. The ups, the downs, the crazy coincidences, and then: BANG! They tell you what it's all about. Would you be happy? Does it make sense? How come it all ended in a church?


Entire Light-Heavyweight Division; Confusing, isn't it? I know I'd want to know just what the hell is going on if I were you. Let's just say in times like these, it's important to keep up [coughs] appearances. But first, if you would be so kind... Hand. Over. My. Belt.[begins laughing hysterically]


Well, sounds like I can cross 'hear a grown man cry' off my Christmas list. Thanks, Berry!

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Mr Joker


[sings] Where, oh where has my little Bat gone? Oh where, oh where can he be? His cowl, his scowl, his temper so foul. I do hope he's coming for me. [evil laugh]


Mr. Stolt; Isn't it funny how one little encounter can cleave off little pieces of your past, deform your memories and persona until you rethink your whole identity and as you realise how foolish it all is your laughter reverberates off the walls of your own emptiness? [begins laughing hysterically]


The police just backed me up in a gunfight....Gotham has finally gone insane!!! [begins laughing hysterically]


If I weren't crazy, I'd be insane!

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"Prince" Yngve Stolt


Dont you worrie Mr Joker you are probably both crazy and insane. im not sure which medecins you forgott to take or if there even is any medecins for what you suffering from but one thing is for sure, you need some serious help man.

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Mr Joker


Crazy insane or insane crazy? Or is it we're all just plain crazy?


Mr. Stolt; So... I see you received the free ticket I sent you. I'm glad. I did so want you to be here. You see it doesn't matter if they catch me and send me back to the asylum... Gordon's been driven mad. I've proved my point. I've demonstrated there's no difference between me and everyone else! All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed. Why else would you dress up as a prince and call yourself King? You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else... Only you won't admit it! You have to keep pretending that life makes sense, that there's some point to all this struggling! God you make me want to puke. I mean, what is it with you? What made you what you are? Girlfriend killed by the mob, maybe? Brother carved up by some mugger? Something like that, I bet. Something like that... Something like that happened to me, you know. I... I'm not exactly sure what it was. Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another... If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice! Ha ha ha! But my point is... My point is, I went crazy. When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was, I went crazy as a coot! I admit it! Why can't you? I mean, you're not unintelligent! You must see the reality of the situation. Do you know how many times we've come close to world war three over a flock of geese on a computer screen? Do you know what triggered the last world war? An argument over how many telegraph poles Germany owed its war debt creditors! Telegraph poles! Ha ha ha ha HA! It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing? [begins laughing hysterically]

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Mr Joker



Mr Chuvalo; do you know the definition of insanity? Oh, my dear, delusional Georgie, the insanity hasn't even begun! The definition of insanity is and I quote 'doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.' Albert Einstein. And I hear you want a rematch? And, you probably expect different results. Which would make you as crazy as me! HA HA HA! Which reminds me of a story... 'Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants. I come before you, to stand behind you, to tell you a story I know nothing about. One bright morning in the middle of the night two dead fellows stood up to fight. They stood back to back, facing each other, drew their swords and shot one another. If you don't believe my lie, it's true, ask the blind lady on the corner, she saw it too.' [begins laughing hysterically] Well Georgie, parting is such sweet sorrow, dearest. Still, you can't say we didn't show you a good time. Enjoy yourself out there... Just don't forget -- if it ever gets too tough... there's always a place for you here... in the asylum. [begins laughing hysterically]



If I weren't insane: I couldn't be so brilliant!


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"Prince" Yngve Stolt


To all the mma fans out there who want to se a future legend punch in his way closer the pfp top, make sure you buy some tickets to RCG 10 the 6th of februari. I promise you a good fight and a clean finish in the mid rouns. Luk Yuha i have no idea what you were was going throu your head accepting this fight. I dont get it, why so eager getting your face punched in?

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