"Rules Of The Blues" 1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..." 2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town." 3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes... sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound." 4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch--ain't no way out. 5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and company motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die. 6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis. 7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain. 8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you were skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chompin' on it is. 9. You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster. 10. Good places for the Blues: a. Highway b. Jailhouse c. An empty bed d. Bottom of a whiskey glass 11. Bad places for the Blues: a. Nordstrom's b. Gallery openings c. Ivy league institutions d. Golf courses 12. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be a old ethnic person, and you slept in it. 13. You have the right to sing the Blues if: a. You older than dirt b. You blind c. You shot a man in Memphis d. You can't be satisfied 14. You don't have the right to sing the Blues if: a. You have all your teeth b. You were once blind but now can see c. The man in Memphis lived d. You have a pension fund 15. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues. 16. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues 17. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: a. Cheap wine b. Whiskey or bourbon c. Muddy water d. Nasty black coffee 18. The following are NOT Blues beverages: a. Perrier b. Chardonnay c. Snapple d. Slim Fast 19. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broke-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction. 20. Some Blues names for women: a. Sadie b. Big Mama c. Bessie d. Fat River Dumpling 21. Some Blues names for men: a. Joe b. Willie c. Little Willie d. Big Willie 22. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis. 23. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit: a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.) b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Melon, Kiwi, etc.) c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.) For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Jackleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.") 24. I don't care how tragic your life: if you own even one computer, you cannot sing the blues.

BE 10: Night of Champions Main Card Preview   Kumite Kyle here, once again with an absolutely stacked card for celebration of Bloodsport Elites TENTH CARD on June 6th (7th in Oceania)! For the first time in Bloodsport history, and very well could be the only time in Bloodsport history; all five fights on the main card are for championship gold!    Now, I'm not doing anyone any favours by rambling, so lets just jump into this incredibly stacked fight card!     Main Card Bout 1: Vacant Bantamweight Championship Little Bandit (12-5 MMA, 2-0 BE) vs. Frank Dux (18-10-1 MMA, 1-0 BE)   First up to start this stacked fight card is a fight that embodies the spirit of Bloodsport, in name, and especially with one of the competitors. We have a championship Bantamweight clash, and a heated trilogy match, between Dynasty Contenders stand-out: Little Bandit, and Mister Bloodsport himself: Frank Dux!   First up, in the blue corner; is Mister Bloodsport himself: Frank Dux. The former Caged Dragon FC Bantamweight Champion and TWGC 38 Bantamweight Champion comes into this championship bout fresh off an impressive and dominant win over Jeryl Christ at BE 8 in his debut that saw him dominate on the ground for all 30 minutes, which helped him snap a nasty 5 fight losing streak. Frank is looking to come into this fight with his grappling and experience as his advantage; as he has found himself in more title fights AND regular fights than his opponent, but also has faced off against his foe twice before, getting the better of him both times. Now that he's 2-0 in the series, he looks to capture another belt for his collection by finishing the sweep in this trilogy with his dominant grappling and violent ground and pound.   However, in the red corner, is his foe Little Bandit. Though Frank Dux may have beaten him twice before, he vows that he is a vastly different fighter from those first two meetings and with his impressive 4 fight win streak and current Bloodsport 2 fight win streak, he aims to show that come fight night. His last 4 fights have seen him completely decimate his opponents with 16 and 19 second KO's of Vvv Vvv and Pedro Equilibrium respectively in the QFC regional circuit, and more recently with him making waves with his 1:29 KO of Jeryl Christ at BE 5 and more impressively his 5 second TKO of Arm Breaker at BE 7, showing that grapplers aren't much of a problem to him and he's just improving more and more each day. He looks to bring the impressive power and defensive grappling with him to BE 10, and hopes to take home Bloodsport gold in yet another quick night at the office; and finally get a tally on the board in this series with Frank Dux.   This is what Bloodsport is all about! Two quick little guys, both with power in different arts. Someone is going out on the feet OR the ground! Expect fast paced violence!       Main Card Bout 2: Light-Heavyweight Championship Estevon Guerra (9-6 MMA, 2-0 BE) vs. Mark Antony (20-18 MMA, BE 0-0)   Next up on the Main Card is, another title fight! This time between the Little Heavyweights! We have newly crowned champion Estevon Guerra and hardened MMA veteran Mark Antony! This one is gonna be experience versus physicality and with a lot on the line!   First up, in the blue corner! The challenger, the veteran, the man Mark Antony! Mark has had an incredibly storied career with long stints in Dynasty, Dynasty Contenders, Caged Warriors, and Slavic Fight League. However, the Muay-Thai specialist has never once in his 38 fight career been in a title fight; first time for everything! With this being his first title fight, he looks to capture gold in his very first try by using his superior Muay-Thai and experience to best the inexperienced yet talented Estevon Guerra. He looks to do that via a vicious KO which 19 of his 20 wins come way of; so he believes with his experience and power, it's a sure thing. The question is: will he crack under the pressure of his first ever title fight?   However, the champion in the red corner has seen himself in these situations before. He's currently holding the Bloodsport gold, and has found himself in another title fight earlier in his career; so he has said that he hopes that experience is enough to ensure a successful title defense. Estevon has said he believes his Muay-Thai is superior and that he has exactly what's necessary to beat the "journeyman" in Mark Antony. He believes he has the accuracy and speed to out strike and out pace Antony to force the ref to stop the fight, the same way he forced the ref to save Klayton King, and the same precision that slumped Caleb DeCoteau to capture the Bloodsport crown.   Two Muay-Thai practitioners going toe-to-toe, expect lots of kicks and elbows, and lots of violence between to big guys, no one is making it out of this fight to see the judges scorecards.     Main Card Bout 3: Middleweight Championship  Nazaire Chenevert (16-3 MMA, 3-0 BE) vs. Slugger Dunes (26-22-1 MMA, 2-2 BE)   Next up on the Main Card is, you guessed it, ANOTHER title fight, this time for the Middleweight title. Nazaire Chenevert is defending his title for a third time, this time against a veteran of the game Slugger Dunes. Nazaire has youth on his side, but Slugger has Elite level striking that may prove a problem for the dominant champion!   First up, in the blue corner is the challenger and veteran of the sport: Slugger Dunes! Slugger comes into this fight with over 49 bouts to his name, definitely blowing the champion out of the water with experience, and with that experience comes some of the best striking you'll ever see in the Bloodsport squared circle. Slugger has had an up and down Bloodsport career, only losing to the former champion Horacio Sadaval in his 4 fights with the organization. He recently came off a second win over Bobby Knuckles to earn himself a title shot, and looks to capture the title with his elite level striking and miles in experience, compared to the champion. Slugger said he's gonna TKO him and take home the belt to finally add a belt in the collection of his long storied career.   However, in his way is the dominant champion: Nazaire Chenevert. Nazaire is a former Hardcore FC 2.0 Middleweight champion and now Bloodsport Middleweight champion with already 2 defenses under his belt. The Muay-Thai specialist came into Bloodsport fresh off his stint with HFC, making his debut against the at the time newly crowned champion Horacio Sadaval for Sadaval's first title defense. He completely out-classed the champion and shocked the crowd by stealing his title away via a unanimous decision at BE 5. He made his first successful title defense at BE 6, once again completely out-classing Victor Strand in a repeat of his final HFC fight. His most recent successful title defense came at BE 8 in the Main Event against Emberson Cabral, using his experience to his advantage as he completely dominated Cabral for 50 minutes, and he's looking to repeat the result against the veteran Dunes.   This one is going to be a technical battle of striking, definitely a fight to watch and potential fight of the night with the implications on the line.       Co-Main Event: Vacant Lightweight Championship Ziggy Ozbourne (16-6-2 MMA, 4-0 BE) vs. Diego Lacasa (16-7 MMA, 0-0 BE)   Next up is the Co-Main Event of the evening! A vacant title fight and a fight that both guys were BEGGING for in the mailboxes of Bloodsport staff. We have the always dangerous kickboxer and former Bloodbath FC Lightweight Champion Ziggy Ozbourne, and the eccentric and mouthy former Wolves FC Bantamweight Champion Diego Lacasa.   First up in the blue corner, the former Wolves FC Bantamweight Champion and eccentric Buzz superstar Diego Lacasa. Diego comes into this fight fresh from a stint in SMASH FC where he completely decimated the competition at 135, only to get looked over for every title shot. The former Wolves champion is well known for his mouthy attitude in and out of cage, and his eccentric and lavish personality. In the cage he's well known as an incredibly dangerous and accurate boxer who loves to taunt his opponents, forcing them to fight his fight every single time which shows in the 10 Fight of the Night bonuses he's received in 23 fights, 9 of those bonuses being wins. Diego has moved up to 155 to utilize power alongside his incredibly speed and accuracy, and aims to use that to out-strike and out-pace Ziggy.   However, in the red corner is an absolutely dangerous striker in Ziggy Ozbourne. The former Bloodbath FC Lightweight Champion comes into this fight on a 5 fight steamrolling streak, 4 of those wins coming inside of the Bloodsport circle. Ziggy is a versatile striker, not only in technique but as well as the weight class he can compete in as Ziggy has been competing back and forth between 170 and 155, completely steamrolling the competition like Lorenzo Smashotti at BE 3, Mark Benke at BE 4, current Welterweight Champion Viktor Kruglov at BE 6, and more recently Jello Belly at BE 9. All of said wins coming by some form of KO, whether it be straight KO, TKO, or forcing his opponent to tap due to the vicious strikes he's throwing. Ziggy looks to use said power and striking to shut the mouthy Diego up, and he has said that it's not personal; he just wants to shut the Buzz phenom up.   These two do not like each other despite Ziggy saying that it's not personal. Expect an all out brawl, and since its both Ziggy and Lacasa, this is a shoe-in for Fight of the Night. Don't miss this absolute classic!     Main Event: Heavyweight Championship Carlton Smithers (19-10 MMA, 7-1 BE) vs. Moses Okafor (12-7 MMA, 2-0 BE)     Finally, the Main Event of the evening, and the final of the our 5 title fights. This one is between Bloodsport superstar and Heavyweight champion Carlton Smithers, and top contender and surging prospect Moses Okafor, both guys are coming in on a hot streak in this one, and with the coveted Heavyweight title on the line; the stakes are incredibly high.   First up, in the blue corner, is the top contender Moses Okafor. Moses is coming into this fight on a 2 fight win streak, both of which were inside of the Bloodsport circle. Moses entered the organization and immediately made huge waves by going on Buzz and calling out Scott Dolton specifically before outlining an entire plan to reach the title and win it  eventually, getting his wish as he was booked to fight Scott Dolton at BE 8, beating Dolton viciously via TKO after completely denying and stuffing Dolton's offense for the better half of 7 minutes; making a statement in his debut. His next fight came against world class Kickboxer Jacques Pierre at BE 9 for the title shot, completely devastating Pierre for under half of the round before finally putting Pierre out of his misery via TKO 3 minutes into round 1. After making such statements, Okafor looks to make another statement by finally dethroning the superstar and dominant champion Carlton Smithers. And new, he says. And new.   However, in his way is the ever so dominant Champion in Bloodsport superstar Carlton Smithers. Carlton comes into this fight riding a 6 fight win-streak, all of which coming by way of KO/TKO, leaving a path of devastation in his wake. He holds wins over Scott Dolton, Keith Bronson, Grant Alyoshin, Bobby Chunks, Loke Axelsen, and Peter Kowlaski, 5 of those 7 wins being for the title. Carlton has said that Moses' brash personality and confidence doesn't bother him and that this is just another day at the office for him. This is the same guy that beat Alyoshin with his own signature knee to steal his title away and completely reign over the Heavyweight division. His most recent win was a completely devastation in his rematch against Bobby Chunks, Smithers' performance making Bobby look like he doesn't even belong in pro MMA. Carlton looks to repeat the same performance against the youthful Okafor, and utilize his experience to his advantage. He says at the end of the day, it's gonna be, and always will be "and, still".   What a way to end one of the most stacked cards in Bloodsport history. A heated championship fight, a potential passing of the torch. This is MMA, this is what Bloodsport is all about. These big guys will not leave each other standing, someone is going out cold by the end of the 50 minutes.         That's it for Bloodsport Elite 10, i'm Kumite Kyle; and next time I hopefully see you lovely blood thirsty folks.. it's when we're all hyped up after a night of pure unadulterated violence. See you all at the hostilities, my friends.         

fortunately Kleenex was available

9837

June 2nd 1997 - A jury in Denver, Colorado, found Timothy McVeigh of the militia movement guilty of murder and conspiracy in the deaths of 168 people in the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing, and he was executed in June 2001. 1989 - 10,000 Chinese soldiers are blocked by 100,000 citizens in Tiananmen Square, Beijing, protecting students demonstrating for democracy. 1970 - The collapse of the Cleddau Bridge in Pembrokeshire, Wales. Errors in the box girder design caused it to collapse during its construction. A 230 feet (70 m) cantilever being used to put one of the 150-tonne sections into position collapsed on the south side of the estuary. Four workers died and five were injured. The bridge finally became operational in 1975. 1962 - Ray Charles' cover of Don Gibson's "I Can't Stop Loving You", from his influential crossover album "Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music" hits #1 on Billboard 1953 - 27-year-old Elizabeth II, the eldest daughter of King George VI, was crowned queen of the United Kingdom at Westminster Abbey, having taken the throne upon her father's death in February 1952. 1946 - In the aftermath of World War II, the people of Italy passed a referendum to replace the governing monarchy with a republic. 1941 - American professional baseball player Lou Gehrig, who was nicknamed “the Iron Horse” for his record-setting number of consecutive games played, died at age 37, two years after being diagnosed with ALS. 1935 - Future Baseball Hall of Fame slugger Babe Ruth announces his retirement as a player at 40 years of age 1924 - US Congress enacts the Indian Citizenship Act 1910 - The Hon. C.S. Rolls became the first Briton to fly across the Channel travelling from Dover to Sangatte and back in a Short-Wright biplane. The following year on this day, the Air Navigation Act came into force to control the requirements of both pilots and machines. 1886 - Frances Folsom, age 21, married U.S. President Grover Cleveland, age 49, in the White House and became the youngest first lady in American history. 1865 - Confederate soldiers yielded to Federal troops in Galveston, Texas, marking the end of one of the final land operations of the American Civil War. 1862 Robert E. Lee takes command of Confederate armies of North Virginia during the American Civil War 1857 - James Gibbs of Virginia, patents the chain-stitch single-thread sewing machine 1780 - The six-day-long Gordon Riots, named after anti-Catholic agitator Lord George Gordon, begin in London. 1740 - The Marquis de Sade, the French nobleman known for his erotic and perverse writings, was born in Paris. 455 - King Gaiseric and the Vandals sack Rome, looting continues for 14 days