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embalmer last won the day on February 1
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org/new contracts and at the top you can click to list new fighters. Its like at 912 now 82 more to go
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Interview with Jeffrey Ramirez, CEO of Beerleague & Captain of Team Ramirez Jeffrey Ramirez strolls into the room looking like he just woke up in the wrong time zone. His eyes are bloodshot, his hoodie smells like bad decisions, and he lets out a deep sigh before slumping into the chair. Interviewer: Rough night? Jeffrey Ramirez: Rough week. I’m running on fumes, smelling like weed and cheap ladies, but we move forward. KHFC TUF draft is finally over. Team Ramirez is locked in, and let me tell you, I’m feeling 100% confident we beat Team Bobbit. We got legends on deck. Bobbit’s over there picking his team like he’s drafting a fantasy league, but this is real life. Interviewer: What’s it like working with Billy Bobbit? Jeffrey Ramirez: Exhausting. A lot of fuckery. Behind-the-scenes drama that would make a reality show producer blush. Every time I think we’re making progress, Bobbit does something that sets us back five steps. It’s like trying to negotiate with a raccoon who just found a stash of energy drinks. Interviewer: And then there’s Clarence… Jeffrey Ramirez: Oh, don’t get me started on Clarence. Bobbit’s number-one bootlicker, his personal hype man, the guy would defend Bobbit even if he got caught setting orphanages on fire. After Bruno’s heavy loss in the CK tourney to Matias “The Greased-Up Goblin” Fialkowska, Clarence hasn’t shut up. You ever argue with a guy who talks in circles and thinks he won? That’s Clarence. He’s on Team Bobbit too, so now I get twice the headache. Interviewer: Beerleague is doing pretty well, though. Jeffrey Ramirez: Absolutely. Audiences are growing, merch sales through the roof. We’re taking Beerleague worldwide. Just got back from Amsterdam—strictly business, of course. By “business,” I mean we showcased our brand, made new connections, and, uh… engaged in local customs. Now I’m back, hungover, and planning our next moves. Interviewer: What’s next? Jeffrey Ramirez: First big manager meeting at Beerleague HQ. Strategy talks. Planning how we dismantle Team Bobbit. And, if I have time, maybe I’ll find a way to shut Clarence up for good. Maybe duct tape. Maybe just letting his own stupidity do the job. Either way, it’s gonna be a hell of a season. @ToshLodi @Fireballer34 @FlatSky @FuryMax12
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Ah, Joseph Clarence, the Team Bobbit loyalist and self-proclaimed “showman,” out here running his mouth like his management career isn’t circling the drain. My guy, you have a 0.43 record as a manager. ZERO. POINT. FOUR. THREE. That’s not just bad—it’s historically dreadful. You couldn’t manage a goldfish to water, let alone a fighter to victory. And let’s talk about these “JUST FIGHTS champions” you keep hyping up like they weren’t getting slept left and right. Nickolas Holt? The dude retired with a 5-6 record after getting KO’d four times in a single month. That’s not a fighter, that’s a crash test dummy. And Matas “Mountain King” Fialkowska? Bro, 4-5 record, finished multiple times in a matter of weeks. What mountain was he king of? A pile of L’s? Your whole team oozes losing. It’s like every fighter you touch is contractually obligated to get washed. Your biggest success story is a guy who got bounced out of the sport with a negative record. And yet, you’re here demanding respect like managing a JUST FIGHTS champion means something. News flash, Joe: being a JUST FIGHTS champ is like being the tallest hobbit—it doesn’t matter when you step outside the Shire and get bodied by real competition. Now you’re trying to sell a Matias vs. Turok fight like you’re promoting a blockbuster, but let’s be honest—Matias needs Turok more than Turok needs Matias. Because if history tells us anything, your guy’s gonna fold, you’re gonna hold yet another L. Maybe instead of talking about who’s gonna “nut up,” you should focus on getting one of your fighters to break even for once.
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Exclusive Interview with Jeffrey Ramirez: “Fialkowska Was Slippery Like a Greased Otter!” After Bruno Svensson’s shocking loss to Matias Fialkowska in CK Round 2, we caught up with Svensson’s Manager, The flamboyant Jeffrey Ramirez, who had some interesting thoughts on the fight. Reporter: Jeffrey, tough night for Bruno. He got the takedowns at will but couldn’t seem to hold onto Fialkowska. What happened? Jeffrey Ramirez: Man, I don’t know what they’re feeding Fialkowska over there, but that dude was slipperier than a bar of soap in a prison shower. Bruno had him locked up tighter than my ex-wife’s bank account, and somehow, he still wriggled free. Reporter: Are you suggesting foul play? Jeffrey Ramirez: Look, I’m not saying he was greased up like a Thanksgiving turkey, but if you threw him at a wall, he’d probably slide right down without a scratch. I saw Bruno get deep on that armbar—textbook technique—but Matias popped out like he was coated in WD-40. Reporter: Did you bring this up with the commission? Jeffrey Ramirez: Oh, we tried. But you know how these commissions are. They checked him before the fight, but who’s checking mid-round? By the time we hit the second, he was shinier than a freshly waxed sports car. Even his gloves were slipping off Bruno’s neck in the clinch—tell me that’s normal! Reporter: What’s next for Bruno after this tough loss? Jeffrey Ramirez: First, we’re buying a gallon of industrial-strength degreaser and wiping down our next opponent before the fight. Maybe bring a towel and some sandpaper to the cage. And then? We’re coming for the rematch. Because if Matias fights dry, he’s getting drowned. Reporter: Bold words! Any final message for Matias? Jeffrey Ramirez: Yeah—next time, leave the baby oil at home.
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EXCLUSIVE: Bruno Svensson on CK Tourney Round 2 – “Matias Hits Like a Wi-Fi Signal in a Basement” By Your Favorite (and Probably Blacklisted) MMA Reporter Ladies and gentlemen, the CK Tournament continues, and the next matchup is guaranteed drama. We’re talking Bruno Svensson vs. Matias Fialkowska, a fight that’s been brewing for a while—and by brewing, I mean it’s been boiling over like a cheap microwave burrito. And let’s not forget the ringside rivalry. Svensson is managed by the ever-cool Mr. Ramirez, a man of few words but deadly strategies. Matias, on the other hand, is under Joseph Clarence, a Bobbit affiliate and professional loudmouth, who has been talking about Matias like he’s the second coming of prime GSP. We sat down with Bruno Svensson for an interview, and folks—he did not hold back. The Interview MMA Report: Bruno, how’s training been? Bruno Svensson: Training’s been great. Hard work, smart work. Unlike Matias, I don’t spend my camp filming highlight reels in slow motion. I actually fight. MMA Report: How do you see this fight going? Bruno Svensson: Hopefully, long enough for Matias to realize he’s in over his head. If not, I’ll make it quick. Either way, he’s leaving with regrets. MMA Report: Matias’ camp, especially Clarence, has been hyping him up. Thoughts? Bruno Svensson: Clarence is like one of those Instagram fitness influencers—he talks a big game but hasn’t actually done anything himself. If hyping up fighters won titles, he’d have ten by now. But reality check: his guy is stepping into the cage with me, and words don’t win fights. MMA Report: Anything about Matias’ style that concerns you? Bruno Svensson: His style? You mean the part where he pretends to be a striker but panics the second he gets hit? Yeah, I’ve seen that before. His biggest weapon is his manager’s ability to tweet. MMA Report: You really don’t think Matias has a chance? Bruno Svensson: I think Matias has a chance… the same way a paper straw has a chance in a milkshake. He’s a decent fighter, but this is a different level. He’s stepping in there with someone who doesn’t just fight to win—I fight to break people. MMA Report: Final message for Matias? Bruno Svensson: Yeah. Hope you have a good dentist. Final Thoughts Bruno Svensson isn’t just confident—he’s already picturing the victory party. But Matias’ camp believes in their man, and if he pulls off an upset, Svensson might be eating his words. One thing is guaranteed: this fight is personal, and when that cage door locks, somebody’s reputation is getting shattered. Stay tuned, fight fans. It’s about to get violent.
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@MMATycoon im gonna need my secretery to find all your guys contracts for Beerleague #finest run org 2025 and when she does, I will terminate them all.
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Guess we pick Aquarium and Listerman then cant have a mr nobody affiliate on our team
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Bobbits not gonna go back on his fanboy picks. @Sprooch Welcome to Team Ramirez!!! not sure if we pick one or two this turn but if we do pick two Aquarium fish is the second pick, if its one then Sprooch @ToshLodi @Fireballer34 @FlatSky
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Ohh we had almost forgot about this tournament, me and @ToshLodi have been busy running successful businesses. But ohh well They have alrdy been introduced. Two guys that oozes worldclass, Bowser and Arseworth @FlatSky
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Interview with Beerleague CEO Jeffrey Ramirez Reporter: Jeffrey, thanks for taking the time! The first-ever Beerleague champion has been crowned. How does it feel to have history made at “Just Some Fights 10”? Jeffrey Ramirez: Oh, it feels incredible. I mean, when we started Beerleague, the goal was simple: beer, brawls, and low expectations. And now? We’re basically the Olympics. If the Olympics served pints between rounds. Reporter: Scott “Soul Taker” Calvin is the 155-lb champ. What do you think of his performance? Jeffrey Ramirez: Honestly? He came in like a wrecking ball. Well, more like a slightly buzzed wrecking ball, but still. He threw punches like he was swatting at flies, and it somehow worked. I don’t know if it was technique or tequila, but the man got the job done. Reporter: The Beer Garden in Amsterdam was packed. How does it feel to sell out such a… prestigious venue? Jeffrey Ramirez: Oh, it was magical. The smell of beer, stale pretzels, and questionable life choices in the air—it was everything I dreamed of. Shoutout to the guy who started a wave with a beer stein in one hand and a bratwurst in the other. That’s the true Beerleague spirit. Reporter: What’s next for Scott “Soul Taker” Calvin as champion? A unification bout, perhaps? Jeffrey Ramirez: We’re looking into it. But first, he’s got to defend that belt… against the hangover he’s been nursing since the afterparty. We might also book him against “Tallboy” Tony, the guy who challenged him at the post-fight buffet. Tony’s undefeated in mashed potato eating contests. Reporter: Any final thoughts for Beerleague fans out there? Jeffrey Ramirez: Just this: Beerleague isn’t about being the best—it’s about having the best time. And if Scott “Soul Taker” Calvin can become champ, well, maybe there’s hope for us all. Cheers, and see you at “Just Some Fights 11: Fight Harder, Drink Faster”!
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Breaking News: Ramirez Declares Draft Over, Chaos Officially “Shutdown” In a dramatic turn of events, Team Ramirez captain Jeffrey Ramirez and his outspoken Vice Captain Lodi were spotted leaving KHFC headquarters earlier today. The pair reportedly issued strong demands to bring an end to the ongoing draft madness, and judging by their dramatic exit, it looks like they’ve had enough of Bobbit’s antics. Interview Highlights: Ramirez Lays Down the Law When interviewed shortly after his exit, Ramirez didn’t mince words: “We shut down this farce. It’s been going on for too long. Someone has to stand up to Bobbit.” Ramirez accused Team Bobbit of plotting to infiltrate his camp with moles, echoing earlier concerns raised by Lodi on Twitter. “This draft is full of shenanigans and foul play,” Ramirez declared. As for the meeting with KHFC CEO Fireballer, Ramirez summed it up in true dramatic fashion: “We put forward our demands in the nicest way possible—only smashed the coffee machine, slapped the teamsheet on his tiny desk, and left. Fireballer knows where we stand.” The Final Additions to Team Ramirez Ramirez also revealed his finalized roster, packed with legends, Hall of Famers, and master strategists: • Aquarium Fish: A fan favorite and obvious pick for Ramirez. “We love him,” Ramirez said simply. • Bowser Big Dog: A Hall of Famer and former number-one manager, known for his brutal strategies and unstoppable presence. • Billy Arseworth: Another Hall of Famer, former number-one manager, and one of the most creative minds in the sport. “These are legends, master strategists, and awesome guys. That’s our 16 managers. Non-negotiable,” Ramirez said with confidence. Ramirez Sends a Warning to Team Bobbit Ramirez ended the interview with a final shot at Bobbit: “This team will stomp Team Bobbit. No moles, no shenanigans, just legends doing what they do best. Now let’s get this thing started.” What’s Next? With Team Ramirez declaring the draft officially over, the ball is now in Bobbit’s court. Will he accept the finalized teams, or will he continue his chaotic streak? Meanwhile, Fireballer remains trapped in the middle of this storm, possibly nursing a shattered coffee machine and questioning his life choices. One thing’s for sure—this tournament is already the most entertaining spectacle in MMA, and the cage fights haven’t even started yet. Stay tuned for the next episode of KHFC: Chaos Edition. @Fireballer34 @FlatSky
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Bobbit´s doing it, so i dont see why not?
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Mayhem Erupts at KHFC Headquarters: Chaos at the TUF Draft The KHFC TUF Tournament draft turned into a comedy of errors and near fistfights last night, as head of Team Bobbit threw the rulebook out the window—quite literally, according to some witnesses. In an unexpected twist, Bobbit began drafting managers not even eligible in the pool, sparking outrage, confusion, and more than a few tense moments at the KHFC headquarters. Bobbit’s Bold (and Bizarre) Moves Instead of sticking to the carefully planned draft structure, Bobbit decided to improvise. Among his most outrageous picks?Two non eligible managers, one of whom hasn’t been seen on a mma arena since the VHS era. When asked about his choices, Bobbit reportedly quipped, “Legends never die, and rules are just suggestions.” The decision sent shockwaves through the office, with many accusing Bobbit of deliberately sabotaging the tournament’s integrity. Behind Closed Doors Drama Chaos spilled over into the boardroom, where Bobbit and KHFC CEO Fireballer were seen engaged in a heated argument. While details remain murky, sources claim Fireballer was heard shouting, “You’re not Vince McMahon, Bobbit! Stick to the script!” The tension only grew as security personnel were called in to keep things from boiling over. Locker Room Showdown Things turned physical when Team Ramirez’s vice-captain, Lodi, nearly came to blows with members of Team Bobbit, sparking a near-brawl in the lobby. The situation was diffused by the surprising intervention of old veteran Burns, who, despite his age, stepped in to separate the feuding factions. Ramirez, visibly frustrated, blasted the entire fiasco, declaring, “So we’re just making up the rules now? What’s next, drafting mascots?” He further hinted that Bobbit might be engaging in foul play, suggesting the rogue draft picks were paid hefty sums to team up. Security Called to Calm the Chaos With emotions running high, KHFC headquarters was swarmed by security teams to restore order. However, fans outside the building seemed to be enjoying the pandemonium, chanting “KHFC! KHFC!”and even placing bets on who might throw the first punch. What’s Next for KHFC? As the dust settles, the question on everyone’s mind is: What happens now? Fans and players alike are demanding answers—and possibly a referee for the next board meeting. Until then, one thing is certain: when it comes to KHFC, expect the unexpected. Stay tuned for updates on #KHFCMadness and #BobbitGate.
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I pick Aquarium Fish (144011)
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Hope my team stays intact, but if it doesnt, no need to look outside the list of available guys Bowser Big Dog (66844)’s my first alternate.