Art is the right hand of Nature. The latter has only given us being, the former has made us men.

[Guest]

Friedrich Schiller said that.

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1278530363Contenders.jpg

 

AND

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1273852699rhoelogo.jpg

 

Are bringing you a whole new kind of contest!

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv258/GrifterX9/Luncheon.jpg

 

Here at the RHOE, we find that there is a problem in the current system. The best fighters only get better, because new guys lack the access to the 1-on-1 gyms that create the most fearsome of beasts. We are trying to change that. For anyone who doesn't know, Contenders is the minor leagues to the RHOE. Contenders is full of young fighters who are all doing their best to break through to the big time. This contest is designed to help them make that jump to the next level. The decision was made that we wanted to have a contest, and the prize would be a stint in a private gym.

 

But what kind of contest? A tournament wouldn't work. That only makes the problem worse, because it means the guys who started ahead stayed ahead. We had to find a whole new way of competing, something that would let managers have a way to win, but would be independent of their in-game resources. Maybe we could call on other resources. Creative resources.

 

We makin' art, bitches.

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv258/GrifterX9/andy-warhol-soup.jpg

 

Here's the contest. It is open to anyone who has a fighter signed to Contenders. There will be two winners. They receives a two month stay at a 1-on-1 gym with a coach of their choice (no triple elites, please! We have a budget!) free of charge (except the normal $600 charge). Contestants must submit a piece of visual art for the consideration of the panel of judges. All art pieces must be work safe, must be posted to this thread by November 10th, and must in some way include the fighter who is signed to Contenders. You don't have to copy/paste their heads (I'd prefer not, that's kind of gauche.), you just have to figure out a way to put them in. We accept almost anything that could be considered visual art. Make something in photoshop. Scan a pencil sketch. Take a picture of an oil painting. Draw a comic strip. Just have fun!

 

Each piece of art will be be judged by our prestigious five judge panel. Each judge will give each piece of art a rating of 1-5. The judge may also provide an in depth commentary justifying their rating but that is optional. The two pieces with the cumulative highest scores will win entrance into the gym for their fighters.

 

The Judges

 

Me

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/1262811066barney%20stinson.jpg

 

Goddamn am I awesome.

 

Calvin Reyes

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv258/GrifterX9/CalvinReyes.jpg

 

Frankie Cucaracha

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/1286231279ElHuron.jpg

 

Pico Le-Snubs

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv258/GrifterX9/pico-de-gallo-chip.jpg

 

(Pico and Calvin did not have profile pictures, that is the first google image result for each.)

 

And now, with special guest judge....

 

MIKE TYCOON

 

That's right! Mike is taking time out of his ridiculously hectic schedule to judge your art! Best bring your top game, we got important people here!

 

That's the rules, that's the game. Start posting art!

 

(Community commentary on the art and the contest are welcome, but will not factor into judging decisions.)

 

The Entrants

 

Artist: Gimpyjoe

 

http://i946.photobucket.com/albums/ad310/Gimpyjoe/Billythekidslapper.jpg

 

Artist: KryonikMessiah

http://oi55.tinypic.com/33bgto6.jpg

 

Edit: Mike Tycoon will not be judging. He had agreed to but I will not be following up with him due to the dearth of entries.

[Duxwig]

My vote can indeed be swayed...

 

...By giving me 10 mins alone with your son.

Dress him in the sparkly pants.

[Guest]

I LOVE the contest. I'd enter, but I don't need the gym space. Hopefully we will see some cool stuff.

[Guest]

I have little to no talent in visual arts so I'll go ahead and get the ball rolling. Here is my stylized rendition of Billy "The Kid" Slapper. A cowboy who slaps children. He cut his teeth on the openweight division in the now disbanded BAR organization and is now bucking the upper ranks of Contenders - looking to earn a spot in the glorious RHOE soon.

 

 

http://i946.photobucket.com/albums/ad310/Gimpyjoe/Billythekidslapper.jpg

[j666]

this is awesome

[Guest]

this is awesome

 

Pico looks delicious.

[Duxwig]

Pico looks delicious.

 

That's what yo mama said 2, dawg.

But den she went all Lorena Bobbitt on it, ands I couldnt help but thank, DAMN, dis lady fat!

[Guest]

Yet another quality thread by tapeleg! I would participate but have only one guy in Contenders, and he's not allowed to train (plus I don't have photoshop). Still, I'm looking foreward to the wonders of art this thread will no doubt produce.

[Duxwig]

Yet another quality thread by tapeleg! I would participate but have only one guy in Contenders, and he's not allowed to train (plus I don't have photoshop). Still, I'm looking foreward to the wonders of art this thread will no doubt produce.

 

Not all art must use photoshop.

Pictures of yourself dressed up; Stop motion fight; Stick fight; Dress some fruit up like your fighter; Legos.

Pictures, movies, yahooooooo!

[Guest]

I have little to no talent in visual arts so I'll go ahead and get the ball rolling. Here is my stylized rendition of Billy "The Kid" Slapper. A cowboy who slaps children. He cut his teeth on the openweight division in the now disbanded BAR organization and is now bucking the upper ranks of Contenders - looking to earn a spot in the glorious RHOE soon.

 

 

http://i946.photobucket.com/albums/ad310/Gimpyjoe/Billythekidslapper.jpg

We need more entries! I don't want to give this guy a bunch of free training but by god I will if I have to.

 

Not all art must use photoshop.

Pictures of yourself dressed up; Stop motion fight; Stick fight; Dress some fruit up like your fighter; Legos.

Pictures, movies, yahooooooo!

 

Yes, we are very open to all sorts of mediums. Please don't mail me any toilets though.

[Guest]

Yes, we are very open to all sorts of mediums. Please don't mail me any toilets though.

 

Thanks a TON dude... you just ruined my f**ing entry.

[Guest]

I am the King of disappointment. I am the Baron of barely making an effort. Look upon my works ye talented and despair.

[Guest]

I am the King of disappointment. I am the Baron of barely making an effort. Look upon my works ye talented and despair.

You're going to be the king of free training when you sweep this in 8 days.

[KOBob]

i wish i had a fighter in your org. i'd enter if i did. but cool contest!

[Guest]

You're going to be the king of free training when you sweep this in 8 days.

 

 

....oh, will he now.

 

 

http://mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilemanager.php?FID=67858

 

http://oi55.tinypic.com/33bgto6.jpg

 

Behold Jack "The Ripper" Ryan, in his native habitat outside a Dublin pub.

 

 

 

Edit : No, this isn't a greyscaled picture with text. I actually had to remove him from another picture and bring him in to this background.

[Guest]

http://oi55.tinypic.com/e1c939.jpg

 

Your honor(s), the free training clearly belongs to mr. Wright. Please help him fight injustice and evil, one double striking elite at a time!

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/fighterprofileman....php?FID=114124

 

EDIT: To be fair, Phoenix would need a contract first, and I'd rather if he got some training in before. However, he is in Rio and aimed for RHOE.

[Guest]

Well, I have to declare this contest closed. We had two actual entrants. There are two prizes. Judging will begin soon. Try to guess the winners. I leave you with this.

 

http://i913.photobucket.com/albums/ac334/tapeleglock/StillLifeWithPhilipDale.jpg

[Guest]

Well, I have to declare this contest closed. We had two actual entrants. There are two prizes. Judging will begin soon. Try to guess the winners. I leave you with this.

 

http://i913.photobucket.com/albums/ac334/tapeleglock/StillLifeWithPhilipDale.jpg

Is that a pitcher of urine?

[Guest]

The Entrants

 

http://i946.photobucket.com/albums/ad310/Gimpyjoe/Billythekidslapper.jpg

 

The first entrant into our contest is also the most ambiguous. The artist has portrayed his fighter here in quick sketch form. He does not use the classical sketch stylings of the past masters, but instead leans towards the Lennonesque school of "anything goes" art. The crying child, so blatantly pasted onto the scene, asks us to question our own relationship with our childhoods. We imagine them as Elysian experiences of pastoral perfection, but perhaps they were imbued with the same level of agony that we find ourselves in today. The quick sketchiness of the central figure plays against the somewhat gauche lugubrious child, forcing us to contrast our experiences with those provided by the media. This piece left me feeling somewhat contemplative, but mostly confused.

 

Rating: 1 1/2 stars.

 

Artist: KryonikMessiah

http://oi55.tinypic.com/33bgto6.jpg

 

The second entry is much more evocative. The central figure of the steroid fueled wrestler says much about the pop culture of today. Is our platonic ideal of masculinity now a man with shrunken testicles and bleached hair? This imagery is made more evocative when placed against the background of a slumlike neighborhood. Is pop culture only a spectacle meant to draw our attention away from the slavelike conditions under which the majority of the population labors? I find that this piece can only be interpreted as Marxist propaganda, a call for the poor of the world to cast off their fetters and march against their overly tanned masters. Rise up, proletariat! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

 

Rating: 2 stars.

 

Other judges will come by and render their own judgments.

[Guest]

Shit, I wish I would have seen this sooner.

[Guest]

Shit, I wish I would have seen this sooner.

 

 

Get to work on something, I shouldn't be allowed to win.

[Remora]

Calvin Reyes

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv258/GrifterX9/CalvinReyes.jpg

 

What the fucking- Well, I suppose if a woman burbling some nihilistic shit after fiddling with a can opener for six months and before rubbing spaghettios into her snatch is "art", these works almost reach that bar of head trauma and poor judgement.

 

http://i946.photobucket.com/albums/ad310/Gimpyjoe/Billythekidslapper.jpg

Entrant Number One, depicting Billy "The Kid" Slapper: The drunken pencil scribble method always lends that nostalgic "I drew this instead of paying attention to my art teacher" touch to art, just as the photoshop job on the right tells the viewer "I skipped art class to pirate image-editing software to make crappy art." The paradoxical nature of the piece could, if you were incredibly smashed, inspire commentary on the nature of academia and art and the interrelations between them. On the other hand, it's probably just some shit somebody did in Paint to save imaginary money in a game about sweaty men rolling around on a mat with each other. I give it two wasted afternoons out of five.

 

http://oi55.tinypic.com/33bgto6.jpg

Entrant Number Two, depicting Jack "The Ripper" Ryan: The peerless skill required to put some shit on top of other shit and write shit on it is clearly apparent. The constipated face lends a sense of anxiety, as we wonder whether the resulting explosion of shit will be colored, like the text, to draw the eye away from the other shit on the image. Furthermore, the apparent roid-rage serves to illustrate the connection between the figure's likely testicular condition and the artist's own testicles -- shrunken, abused, and empty -- just as it does the obvious inverse relationship between the muscular development of the subject and that of artist. The canvas's debt to the Internet Tough Guys that have gone before shines through every distended, gushing pore of the work. I give it three charges of domestic violence out of five.

 

[Guest]

Get to work on something, I shouldn't be allowed to win.

I was thinking of putting a fighter humping that RHOE plant.

[Duxwig]

I'm not sure what poppyfield my judging companions have been frolicking in, but they clearly do not know great art when they see it. Much like how the tempting siren Lady Gaga is on an ethereal plane above any other mere mortal in not just the vocal industry, but in humanity in general; these two artists are misunderstood and contain pure genius.

 

 

Artist: Gimpyjoe

http://i946.photobucket.com/albums/ad310/Gimpyjoe/Billythekidslapper.jpg

 

Entry #1: Wow. This is just....beautiful. I've never seen such a pristine nuance of today's society being slapped senseless by the faceless ominous figure trying to control lives, liberties, and taxes. Billy, as depicted, clearly shows a cowboy's hat and long frizzled hair. Running wild and crazy around this great country, he's hardened and takes what he wants and leaves nothing in his path untouched. You want to masturbate to sheep and pine trees? Sorry, Billy Slapper would never let you. Shapeless. Faceless. Peering in your windows. Behind your shower curtain. Under your covers. He could be anywhere...and IS everywhere, much like the United States government. The lifelike child displayed here brings you in. Why would this horrible establishment slap your 1st born son? Because the government hates the United States and actually are the English extracting revenge due to our independence. Why else would the Tea Party have been started? All of this together, the symbolisms, the real fighter behind the art, the artist themself, all leads me to one conclusion.

 

GimpyJoe is in no way gimpy. He is a liar. A thief. And a hypocrite of this great country.

he wishes to steal your social security money and welfare, while he passes off as a parkinson's patient. These scribblings are true art, but you are not handicapped, and for lying I must rest my verdict.

 

I vote this piece 2 years out of 5 to be sexually molested by a gaggle of christian clown pastors.

 

Artist: KryonikMessiah

http://oi55.tinypic.com/33bgto6.jpg

 

Entry #2: This is a timeless piece that we'll be seeing above fireplaces soon. A man so American he required two first names. Ripped, blonde, angry; he knows there are terrorists like Leo C Barros haunting this great world still and wont stop battering anyone who isnt Jack Ryan. The black and white nature signifies that age isnt an issue for Mr. Ryan. Your sweet old grandma who was part of a nuclear family in the 50's? Very likely she housed communist scum by how tasty her dumplings had become by the end of the 80's. We can also tell by his stature as an amazing American that he sees no color. Black, White, Yellow, they'll all be tasting a hardened fist of paranoia. This is one BADASS man who everyone should fear.

 

How do I know this? Because this is a picture of ME.

 

While your nose is clearly shit stained from the amount of brown nosing youre trying to do to sway me with this masterpiece, you KNOW that I work hard on my tan. For not displaying my perfectly bronzed and chiseled moobs and delegating me to the hells of being partially mayonnaise color I slam the gavel down upon your fingers so that you may never harm another photo of me.

 

I give this photo 1 sexy wink out of 5. The other 4 I'll be giving to you 4 studly bystanders in this thread: Fateat, KOBob, Mannetosen, and greywar.

 

[Guest]

Better late than never !

Artist: Gimpyjoe

http://i946.photobucket.com/albums/ad310/Gimpyjoe/Billythekidslapper.jpg

 

Entry #1: This entry shows a lot of repressed anger towards his father. Upon analyzing this entry we can assume that the crying child is in fact GimpyJoe. The dark ominously grinning figure is obviously his dad after he threw back a few too many. This piece is clearly a cry for help. The style of art with the sharp jagged lines and masterful use of MS Paint bring back fond memories of Picasso. A very tortured and abused emo Picasso that is. I give it 2 "Get me another beer" Backhands.

 

Artist: KryonikMessiah

http://oi55.tinypic.com/33bgto6.jpg

 

Entry #2: My fellow judges totally missed the subject matter of this piece. The man who is obviously KryonikMessiah is clearly clenching for dear life as he has to have a massive bowel movement and their are no facilities within duck walking distance. The glistening on his body are very obviously the result of 'Poop Sweats'. Being that the backdrop is an alley our subject is clearly trying to find a dumpster or dark corner to have a violent bowel movement. Having been close to this man's frustration in the past when the bowels will chose inopportune times to decide to vacate themselves, I give this piece 2 Rolls of Charmin.