Dick Caunt Talks #1 p4p Status, Killer Kidd Fight

[Mannetosen]

In the new rankings published by the Official MMATycoon Rankings Board, long-time top 5 fixture Dick Caunt has been ranked as the #1 p4p fighter in the world. We caught up with the normally reclusive Caunt for a very special interview.

"Congratulations, mr. Caunt, on finally being ranked #1 pound-for-pound. At 39 years old, you seem to have finally realized your potential, and some fans even claim that you're only seemingly getting better with age. Give us your thoughts on your career so far."

"Honestly? I have no idea what those clowns on the ranking board are smoking."

"What do you mean? Do you think you should've been aknowledged as the best fighter in the world earlier?"

"No, not at all. If anything, I'm baffled by the fact that they bumped me up despite neither me nor Leifsson fighting for the past week. We're both coming off wins, sure, but his win is infinitely more impressive than mine. I refuse to believe that my last SCINTILLATING performance lingered in their mind for this long, and made them re-consider their rankings.

I guess it might've lingered like a fart in an elevator. My point is, there's no way that snoozefest made any kind of impression on anyone sane. Hell, I've almost forgotten it, and I fought in the damn thing."

"With all due respect, mr. Caunt, that's crazy. You defeated yet another to--"

"I had another slapfight with another one of Theksit's Oompa Loompas."

"On the contrary, you easily defeated yet another top 10 p4p fighter in yet another technical masterclass."

"Tell that to the fans leaving midway through round 1, or the remaining fans throwing vegetables into the cage. Not that I blame them. I've seen more savage combat in the meet-and-greet line after a Justin Bieber concert."

"Are you telling me that you're considering changing your approach to fighting?"

"No."

"I'm only asking because you sound like you're seriously down on your own skills."

"You'd be 'down on your own skills' too if your only (barely) marketable skill was impotently flailing your midget fists at another circus freak in front of half-empty arenas."

"You sound depressed. Are you depressed?"

"No. I just have a realistic idea of my own skills and abilities, unlike most of my so-called 'peers'."

"Uh-huh. Moving on, you have yet another big fight coming up. Syn bantamweight champion and Olympic gold medal winner Killer Kidd is moving up to take you on. Give us your thoughts on this matchup."

"Stacks found me an even smaller guy to fight. Wo-hoo."

"I beg you pardon?"

"Like seriously, where does he find these people? Does the guy have a season pass to the circus, is that is? Is he making me fight carnies for his amusement? Am I in Hell?"

"Dude, what is your problem? Kidd's a legitimate top tier fighter."

"My problem, 'dude', is that I know exactly how this fight is gonna play out. We're both gonna shuffle around each other in a circle, awkwardly pawing away at each other like two teenagers at a barn dance. Like said teenagers, we're eventually gonna muster up the courage to bumble into each other. Like said teenagers, we're going to fumble away like we're trying to undo each other's bra clasps."

"What the fuck are you say--"

"I'm not done. Unlike said teenagers, this is gonna go on for 25 minutes. Unlike said teenagers, three dudes are gonna give their opinion on who displayed the more skillful heavy petting. Unlike said teenagers, nobody's gonna give a shit about either of us scoring."

"Now I'm just sad."

"You're telling me."

Remember to steer clear of Caunt vs Kidd on the BOTTOM HALF OF THE SYN 900 CARD. I repeat, the #1 p4p fighter in the world is on the goddamn undercard of this event. That about sums it up.

[DRussellMMA]

3 hours ago, Mannetosen said:

the #1 p4p fighter in the world is on the goddamn undercard of this event

It's almost like the featherweight division isn't appreciated...

[bjornmma1]

Killer Kidd
26-4-3

People from all over the world have been contacting me to try and make me comment on Dick Caunt his statement. 
I'm not a talker really, but fine, I'll bite. For anyone curious about my comments, I've cut the most relevant part out of Caunt his boring speech and have noted my comments in blue. 'Enjoy'. 

---

"Tell that to the fans leaving midway through round 1, or the remaining fans throwing vegetables into the cage. Not that I blame them. I've seen more savage combat in the meet-and-greet line after a Justin Bieber concert."

"Are you telling me that you're considering changing your approach to fighting?"

"No."

Caunt is scared that if he changes his approach, my flailing midget fists might smash him to the floor....

"I'm only asking because you sound like you're seriously down on your own skills."

"You'd be 'down on your own skills' too if your only (barely) marketable skill was impotently flailing your midget fists at another circus freak in front of half-empty arenas."

I'm many things, but not a circus freak. Altough I can lick my own balls when I soaked them well first, does that count?

"You sound depressed. Are you depressed?"

"No. I just have a realistic idea of my own skills and abilities, unlike most of my so-called 'peers'."

I prefer apples. 

"Uh-huh. Moving on, you have yet another big fight coming up. Syn bantamweight champion and Olympic gold medal winner Killer Kidd is moving up to take you on. Give us your thoughts on this matchup."

"Stacks found me an even smaller guy to fight. Wo-hoo."

I beefed up to 145lbs so that you wouldn't have any excuse to make. Wo-hoo. 

"I beg you pardon?"

"Like seriously, where does he find these people? Does the guy have a season pass to the circus, is that is? Is he making me fight carnies for his amusement? Am I in Hell?"

I came knocking on his door myself. Wanted to see if I could solve to strange puzzle. Nobody knows why you keep winning, not even you know. 

"Dude, what is your problem? Kidd's a legitimate top tier fighter."

"My problem, 'dude', is that I know exactly how this fight is gonna play out. We're both gonna shuffle around each other in a circle, awkwardly pawing away at each other like two teenagers at a barn dance. Like said teenagers, we're eventually gonna muster up the courage to bumble into each other. Like said teenagers, we're going to fumble away like we're trying to undo each other's bra clasps."

I shuffle in a diagonal, not in a circle. I'm way more modern! 

"What the fuck are you say--"

"I'm not done. Unlike said teenagers, this is gonna go on for 25 minutes. Unlike said teenagers, three dudes are gonna give their opinion on who displayed the more skillful heavy petting. Unlike said teenagers, nobody's gonna give a shit about either of us scoring."

I have knocked out guys twice  before and won't hesitate to try and put the lights out of the number one p4p fighter if you slip up. 

"Now I'm just sad."

"You're telling me."

Remember to steer clear of Caunt vs Kidd on the BOTTOM HALF OF THE SYN 900 CARD. I repeat, the #1 p4p fighter in the world is on the goddamn undercard of this event. That about sums it up.

I don't need fans to put on my best performance. I perform best alone with a bottle of lotion and some tissues at hand. 

[Mannetosen]

1 hour ago, bjornmma1 said:

Killer Kidd
26-4-3

1. Caunt is scared that if he changes his approach, my flailing midget fists might smash him to the floor....

2. I beefed up to 145lbs so that you wouldn't have any excuse to make. Wo-hoo. 

3. I have knocked out guys twice  before and won't hesitate to try and put the lights out of the number one p4p fighter if you slip up. 
 

1. While you might very well win this fight, and I agree that a change in approach probably would lead to me losing, let's be real for a second. Neither one of us are smashing anyone to the floor with anything smaller than a shovel. I get that you're trying to sell the fight, but let's not lie to the fans.

2. I'm not making any excuses for anything other than the fact that God seemingly spilled me into the humanity cauldron by accident.

3. Again, let's be realistic here. I have 3 (T)KO wins. You have 2. My finishing rate over 43 wins is 6.98%. Yours is 7.69% over 26 wins. Those stats are equally pathetic. I'd welcome you to try and take my head off, but we both know that ain't happening. Please stop lying.

[BenhornbyMMA]

What a great read 🤣 I do beg that both of you think fuck it and swing from round 1 to round 5 and get the knock out you want! Also shame that two champions are so low on the card...

[Mannetosen]

24 minutes ago, BenhornbyMMA said:

What a great read 🤣 I do beg that both of you think fuck it and swing from round 1 to round 5 and get the knock out you want! Also shame that two champions are so low on the card...

Would you ask a songbird not to sing? An otter not to swim? A bjorn not to pick up FAs?

[bjornmma1]

54 minutes ago, Mannetosen said:

1. While you might very well win this fight, and I agree that a change in approach probably would lead to me losing, let's be real for a second. Neither one of us are smashing anyone to the floor with anything smaller than a shovel. I get that you're trying to sell the fight, but let's not lie to the fans.

2. I'm not making any excuses for anything other than the fact that God seemingly spilled me into the humanity cauldron by accident.

3. Again, let's be realistic here. I have 3 (T)KO wins. You have 2. My finishing rate over 43 wins is 6.98%. Yours is 7.69% over 26 wins. Those stats are equally pathetic. I'd welcome you to try and take my head off, but we both know that ain't happening. Please stop lying.

Killer Kidd
26-4-3


 

Below my comments can be found, again in blue. 

1. While you might very well win this fight, and I agree that a change in approach probably would lead to me losing, let's be real for a second. Neither one of us are smashing anyone to the floor with anything smaller than a shovel. I get that you're trying to sell the fight, but let's not lie to the fans.

Wait and see. I might not have bulky muscles like Chula, but an endless amount of flailing midget fists might cause serious brain damage, resulting in a walk-off KO for the ages.

2. I'm not making any excuses for anything other than the fact that God seemingly spilled me into the humanity cauldron by accident.

You seem like many things, but not religious. PS: cage 'fighters' are not 100% human either way. 
We might not be the big bangers who throw sledgehammers, but we still go hard, with or without a blue pill.

3. Again, let's be realistic here. I have 3 (T)KO wins. You have 2. My finishing rate over 43 wins is 6.98%. Yours is 7.69% over 26 wins. Those stats are equally pathetic. I'd welcome you to try and take my head off, but we both know that ain't happening. Please stop lying.

1/ You are just trying to see if I would dare to go damage in this one and judge by my reaction if you would have the balls to do so yourself.
2/ All I can see is that my finishing rate is more impressive than yours, so I must be the killer (pun intended...) in this bout.

 

[Mannetosen]

 

Let's just agree that neither of us can finish a thought, let alone another fighter.

[bjornmma1]

3 hours ago, Mannetosen said:

 

Let's just agree that neither of us can finish a thought, let alone another fighter.

Killer Kidd
26-4-3

I once had a brilliant idea, until I 

[BenhornbyMMA]

Made me laugh good luck with the fight 🤣

[soyster89]

I like watching fights between two KO kings! Can't wait! 

 

[bjornmma1]

9 minutes ago, soyster89 said:

I like watching fights between two KO kings! Can't wait! 

 

Killer Kidd
26-4-3

If I would judge this fight, that is clear win for the shirtless guy, lovely defensive no-look move, as well as very acurate.
I'm impressed! 

[Mannetosen]

24 minutes ago, soyster89 said:

I like watching fights between two KO kings! Can't wait! 

 

Nice Kid Torres highlight reel. He's Dick Caunt's biggest inspiration.

[bjornmma1]

Killer Kidd
26-4-3

I managed to not manage my energy at all. Does that mean now that it is time to unleash a fury of midget bombs early on Caunt to see if he crumbles...? 🤣

 

[bjornmma1]

Killer Kidd
27-4-3

Full fight replay against p4p King Caunt, click here.

PS: big respect for Caunt his legendary manager, who congratulated me post fight, great sportsmanship. 

Kidd scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.

Dick Caunt's cut is getting worse.
Caunt darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Caunt misses with a low kick as Kidd jumps back.

Kidd cracks Caunt with a big right hand that sends him to the floor! Caunt looks wobbly but he's sprung back up to his feet straight away� can Kidd finish him?

Caunt is rocked!
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Kidd darts in and lands a big hook, right on the button! Caunt's legs crumble underneath him as he falls to the canvas! The ref tackles Kidd before he gets to land any more shots to his stricken foe.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:59 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Killer Kidd!
Killer Kidd is the new featherweight champion!
A very excited looking Killer Kidd made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.