Oprichnik FC - Official Smack Talk Thread

[bako37]

Drago is going have Patterson tapping in less than one minute. GUARANTEED!!!

[D]

If these guys knew the story behind Melvin "Shake 'n' Bake" Kleinsadder they'd think we're dorks.

 

You mean the guys who build make-believe text sim fighters and fight them in make-believe text sim fight organizations in a make-believe text sim MMA world will think we're dorks for building teams of make-believe football players and having them compete in a make-believe text sim football league?

 

; ^ D

[D]

Oh, by the way, Geoff "The Real" Deal [the number 13th ranked 145-pounder in the world] is going to GNP Jan Weitzer's head off the mat until he's bug-eyed en route to 2-0.

 

Geoff will earn the right to become OPFC's first champ in the 145 weight class in about a month or so.

 

That is all.

[dmk1973]

Oh, by the way, Geoff "The Real" Deal [the number 13th ranked 145-pounder in the world] is going to GNP Jan Weitzer's head off the mat until he's bug-eyed en route to 2-0.

 

Geoff will earn the right to become OPFC's first champ in the 145 weight class in about a month or so.

 

That is all.

 

The only reason he'll be bug-eyed is because he can't believe they let such a wuss into the ring with him.

[dmk1973]

You mean the guys who build make-believe text sim fighters and fight them in make-believe text sim fight organizations in a make-believe text sim MMA world will think we're dorks for building teams of make-believe football players and having them compete in a make-believe text sim football league?

 

; ^ D

 

 

No, they'll think we're dorks for reviewing the highlight reels and giving out nicknames because of them.

 

But, then again, you do have a point.....

 

 

DORKS FTW!!!!

[Guest]

Not at all -- the main thing I look at [at this early stage] is how many days the guy has been inactive and whether the two fighters have faced each other yet.

 

With everybody being so inexperienced I feel the fighters are all, more or less, on pretty equal footing.

 

That being said, "Shake n Bake" is gonna tap him out in round 2.

 

 

 

best of luck with that with filthy's wrestling and bjj , i think your only chance is to swing for the fences

[Guest]

Destoryer ( The Red Curtain): Two all of you 265ers out there, you better start finishing fights!!!!!!!!! If your having problems heres a answer! I have a open contract to anybody who wants a fight. It will not go three rounds. I think there is some 265er named Jui Jeiu Serra or something like that, who's got a lot of hype and no finishes!!!!! Lets do it hype boy and after its over you can change your profession to a Rapping hypeman like Flavor Flav.

[dmk1973]

Moritz "Grappling Hook" Gauchenauer is going to twist and bend Sultanov into a cubist painting. We're going to need photoshop to turn him back into something recognizable by the time my guy's done with him. This should be a good one to watch, if you like a lot of crying and screaming from grown men.

 

Ya, well.....this one didn't go exactly as I had planned.

A good back and forth battle, unfortunately, my guy didn't go the distance and lost it in round 3.

 

"Slingshot" Piotr Johanssen is going to rear back and fire some heavy stones on poor Starks' frontal lobe. Maybe I should change Piotr's name to "brain Surgeon" but, then again, you can't exactly perform surgery with a bowling ball....which is what his hands feel like when they punch you in the face.

 

This, however, went exactly as planned.

[D]

Destoryer ( The Red Curtain): Two all of you 265ers out there, you better start finishing fights!!!!!!!!! If your having problems heres a answer! I have a open contract to anybody who wants a fight. It will not go three rounds. I think there is some 265er named Jui Jeiu Serra or something like that, who's got a lot of hype and no finishes!!!!! Lets do it hype boy and after its over you can change your profession to a Rapping hypeman like Flavor Flav.

 

Nice smack, Deborah!

 

I actually have a proposition to our 265ers coming soon.

 

ALSO:

A recap of Onslaught III, which took place a few hours ago. Fight of the night, KO/Sub of the Night, and maybe a new category or two.

Don't forget, Onslaught IV takes place Sunday.

 

All brought to you, of course, by the Number 0, the Letter D and Hard Rocking Designs.

 

Lotsa shit going on here at OPFC!

 

[D]

Oprichnik FC now has the top three fighter paydays in St Pete history. In addition, each of their fights has been a sellout.

 

"Everything is going according to plan. The fans are happy, the fighters are happy, and we're trying to build something special here," said OPFC boss Fyodor Romanovich. "I will be honest, that was our weakest event in terms of fight quality, but the fighters that are not able to consistently come prepared won't last long term. We only want fighters who are as committed to excellence as we are."

 

Onslaught IV is coming Sunday, after which Mr. Romanovich said he is going to begin discussions for the organization's first-ever champion.

[D]

Onslaught III

 

Fight of the Night

Brian Payne [0-1] v. Stanislov Ivanov [0-0]

Despite being 0-1, Payne seemed like the clear favorite. He is a powerful boxer and he also had the BJJ advantage over Ivanov. Payne started off landing blows and stuffing Ivanov's every takedown attempt. After countless failed takedown attempts and getting battered, Ivanov gets Payne on the ground about halfway through round one. He starts blasting Payne with hammer fists. He takes Payne down with more consistency as the round goes on and Ivanov ends up winning the round.

 

In round 2, Ivanov shoots in and clamps onto Payne, using a sloppy hip toss to take him to the ground. Ivanov pours on the GNP and the ref warns Payne to defend himself. After more punches Ivanov goes for a kimura to take advantage of a rocked Payne, but fails. Ivanov brings the fight back upright. The crowd roars its approval as Ivanov beckons Payne to his feet. Payne stumbles toward Ivanov, who scoops him up and bashes him headfirst to the cagefloor. K.T.F.O.

 

Runner-up: Amir Sultanov [1-0] v. Moritz Gauchenaur [0-0]

Sultanov rocked Gauchenaur in the early-going and poor Moritz never really recovered. He showed great resilience to take Sultanov to the final round, even winning a sluggish round 2. But it was in the third round that Sultanov stepped to his right and unleashed a hellacious headkick that will have Moritz not recognizing his own family for a while.

 

Knockout of the Night

See above. Without question, it goes to Stanislov Ivanov. Honorable mention to the Sultanov headkick.

 

More to come . . . .

[D]

Submission of the Night

Vladimir Drago [1-0] v. Darren Karlson [1-0]

Drago clinches early on and gives Karlson a knee sandwich that cuts him open.

Drago takes the fight to the ground, and slaps on a pretty armbar from his back to end this one with only 64 seconds of work put in.

[D]

So, in an effort to generate a bit more buzz, reward my fighters for excellence, and to see if anybody is really paying attention, I am going to suggest monetary bonuses for the Fighter/KO/Sub of the night. I have been thinking about it and one of our newest fighters suggested it -- so there it is. Thoughts?

 

In fairness, I'm thinking about starting it in Onslaught V, not IV.

[bako37]

Onslaught IV was a great night for Nikolai Drago and Sasha Putin. They both made their opponnents tap in less than a minute. Drago has got to be in the conversation when choosing title fights. Putin is the number 14 heavweight in the world.

[crzy1051]

James is throwing strikes from the back here. Oh that last one was to the back of the head. James gets a warning from the referee. He throws another strike to the back of the head straight away though and the referee has seen enough. He breaks up the two fighters and stands them back up. James gets a real talking to here and is lucky not to get a point deducted. James apologises and we restart here on the feet.

 

James closes the distance looking for a takedown. James picks Westbrook up and slams him brutally to the floor. Westbrook is out! He's out cold! Wow, you don't see a finish like that every day!

 

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:43 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Slam). Will James!

 

Yes thats right Will James Debut was another victory for him. His first match was a decision in QFC and his Oprichnik FC debut was a Slam KO yes the SLAM KO whos next, as long as its more than 6 days away ill accept

[D]

ONSLAUGHT IV

 

Weight RndsWinner Loser Method Round Time

205 lbs 3 Will James Irv Westbrook KO (Slam) 2 04:43

155 lbs 3 Chris Bouv Shamus Burby KO (Strikes) 1 02:20

135 lbs 3 Tom Servo Jo Jones Decision (Unanimous) 3 05:00

145 lbs 3 Jan Weitzer Geoff Deal Decision (Unanimous) 3 05:00

155 lbs 3 Dirk Diggler Grant Soper Decision (Unanimous) 3 05:00

170 lbs 3 Edmund Coulson Stanislaus Jablonski Submission (RNC) 1 04:41

265 lbs 3 Ivan Dostojevskij Slim Shady Submission (Armbar) 1 02:30

265+ lbs 3 Sasha Putin Sergei Demidov Submission (Triangle Choke) 1 00:26

205 lbs 3 Nikolai Drago Josh Patterson Submission (Armbar) 1 00:31

170 lbs 3 Leonid Kryslov Jay Knapp Submission (RNC) 1 02:35

 

 

How did your man do?

[D]

For myself, Geoff Deal lost a very disappointing decision. I thought Geoff hurt Jan with a steady diet of kicks and strikes. Jan was able to get Geoff to the ground on many occasions, but was never really able to do anything once he got there.

 

Tough loss.

[bako37]

Drago and Putin both won by submission in less than 40 seconds. It was a very good day for my stable. Hopefully they can be considered for title bouts down the road.

[crzy1051]

just waiting on next match

[D]

ONSLAUGHT IV

You'll have to forgive me. I had the fight of the night, KO of the night, Sub of the night, etc all written up and something happened where it didn't get saved. I don't have the heart to try to recreate it, so here is a more brief summary:

 

Fight of the Night

Slim Shady v. Ivan Dostojevskij

Shady shoots in at the bell and takes Dostojevskij down. Ivan then proceeds to work sub attempt after sub attempt, while raining down GNP on the hapless Shady. Ivan's superior skill in BJJ is too much for Shady to overcome, and his night is over after 150 seconds of work.

Fight Rating: 100%

 

Runner-up

Tom Servo v. Jo Jones

My personal choice for fight of the night. Tom Servo came in 1-0 and Jo Jones 0-1, but a brown belt in BJJ [Jones] vs a white belt in BJJ [servo] is usually a pretty ugly affair. Sure enough, about one minute in, Jones slaps on the ankle lock and "it ... could ... be ... all ..." no, Servo kicks out. He survives enough to get back on his feet. The fight moves into the clinch, where Servo's superior Muay Thai skills come into play. Jones tries like hell to stay out of the clinch, but near the end of round one Jones eats a flurry of punches just as he breaks the clinch. He's seeing stars, but Servo cant finish him. Round 2 was spent with Servo trying to survive on the ground [although he threw in some nice GNP] or Servo clinching Jones and dominating him that way. In the end, Jones failed on 31 sub attempts while Servo dominated in the standup portion of the game while landing 9 of 9 GNP attempts on the ground. Your winner? Tom Servo.

Fight Rating: 93%

[D]

KO of the night

Will James v. Irv Westbrook

Westbrook rocks James early in round 1, but can't finish him. James makes a nice recovery and wins the round. In round 2, James takes Westbrook to the ground and absolutely opens a can of whoopass on him. He takes Westbrook's back and pummels his brains out. After a blow to the back of the head, the referee stands it up and warns James. Then:

 

He breaks up the two fighters and stands them back up. James gets a real talking to here and is lucky not to get a point deducted. James apologises and we restart here on the feet.

 

James closes the distance looking for a takedown. James picks Westbrook up and slams him brutally to the floor. Westbrook is out! He's out cold! Wow, you don't see a finish like that every day!

 

Runner-up

Chris Buov v. Shamus Burby

Midway through round 1:

 

Bouv breaks the clinch.

Burby avoids a kick to the body.

Bouv darts in and out, connecting with a jab.

 

Burby is rocked!

Bouv is throwing a storm of strikes! Right hook, left hook and follows it up with a spinning back fist! Burby hits the canvas like a rag doll! And just like that, this one is over!

[D]

Sub of the Night

Sergei Demidov v. Sasha Putin

It takes the inexperienced Sasha Putin all of 26 seconds to slap the armbar on the bigger, older, 1-0 opponent en route to his first victory.

 

Runner-up

Nikolai Drago v. Josh Patterson

Light heavyweight BJJ brown belt Nikolai Drago pushes his record to 2-0 by slapping the armbar on skilled striker Josh Patterson. 31 seconds later it's tappity tap, and neither man has worked up a sweat.

[MADDMIC]

holy crap. i didn't know what i was missing when i wasn't checking the smack talk thread!

 

apologies tiger, i wished i had seen this earlier. the banter between Power and Sandoval would've been fun.

 

apologies to our illustrious fight club owner. i shall endevour to throw some smack talk around.

[MADDMIC]

ONSLAUGHT IV

 

Weight RndsWinner Loser Method Round Time

205 lbs 3 Will James Irv Westbrook KO (Slam) 2 04:43

155 lbs 3 Chris Bouv Shamus Burby KO (Strikes) 1 02:20

135 lbs 3 Tom Servo Jo Jones Decision (Unanimous) 3 05:00

145 lbs 3 Jan Weitzer Geoff Deal Decision (Unanimous) 3 05:00

155 lbs 3 Dirk Diggler Grant Soper Decision (Unanimous) 3 05:00

170 lbs 3 Edmund Coulson Stanislaus Jablonski Submission (RNC) 1 04:41

265 lbs 3 Ivan Dostojevskij Slim Shady Submission (Armbar) 1 02:30

265+ lbs 3 Sasha Putin Sergei Demidov Submission (Triangle Choke) 1 00:26

205 lbs 3 Nikolai Drago Josh Patterson Submission (Armbar) 1 00:31

170 lbs 3 Leonid Kryslov Jay Knapp Submission (RNC) 1 02:35

 

 

How did your man do?

 

Very impressed with how well Coulson is performing to date. Demidov on the other hand was a pretty disappointing.

 

I felt like Demidov matched up well against Putin, at least on the ground.

 

Coulson was brilliant. He gets his 2nd win in as many fights and is showing that he has what it takes to be one of the better fighters in Oprichnik FC.

 

[MADDMIC]

Recently we caught up with the ever elusive Enrique Sandoval.

 

Reporter: Enrique, that was another great fight you had against Power. You have to be feeling good about yourself as you're ranked 13th in your weight class around the world and you're sitting atop the 145 class at Oprichnik. What have you been up to since your last fight at Onslaught II?

 

Enrique: Si, Enrique does feel good about himself and of course it was a great fight! Enrique is sitting pretty on top of Oprichnik and he likes what he sees. In fact, Enrique liked what he saw so much at Onslaught II, he just had to play a little bit. You see, the ring girls liked it when Enrique danced for them after his win. Those chicas liked it so much that we partied all night long. Enrique tells you one thing. Those ring girls put up more of a fight than Power did. That hombre is loco and he needs to learn how to fight. Dos veces Power, dos veces Enrique make you tap.

 

Reporter: Yes well, what are your plans for the future? Do you have another match coming up?

 

Enrique: Look, Enrique don't have to tell nobody his plans. This time though, Enrique tell you. Onslaught VI is coming up and Enrique has another fight. Joo know why? 'Cause Enrique brings in the fans. He shows up and the fans show up. He also brings the women in. Not that they'd be interested in you, but he brings through the doors. So, Enrique is fighting some kid named Paddy Kirby. This one don't know if he's a girl or a vacuum. Enrique thinks he's closer to a vacuum though cuz he sucks.

 

Reporter: Uh, yes. I can see.....

 

Enrique: Stop. Enrique's not done yet. Kirby, I gonna stomp you to the ground and make you tap. Then I make las chicas de anillo, the ring girls, tap all night long.

 

Reporter: Well then, I suppose that about sums it up. It would seem as though Mr. Sandoval might be a bit full of himself. Either way, Onslaught VI is sure to be a dandy as one of the premier fight clubs in St. Pete packs them in again. Tune in to see wether or not Enrique can make it a perfect 3-0 against Kirby.