Round 14 Recap And so it will need the entire 15 rounds to crown our Summer Slaughter champion. Round 14 is now over and this is how things went down. Tyler Durden murdered Luis Caixhina in just twenty-two seconds of the first round. With nothing but pride to fight for, Durden clearly decided to make a run at the fastest knockout which stands at nineteen seconds. The win puts Durden at 8-6 and guarantees that he finishes the tournament with a winning record. He is currently in 8th place in the league but that could go as high as 4th on the last day. He is also in the running for most KO’s in the tournament. As for Caixhina, this latest loss marks his ninth out of his last ten fights and means he will be scrapping until his final moments to avoid staying in the last place spot he currently occupies. Asian Guy couldn’t believe his luck as opponent Sancho Bandito completed the first part of his three part winning tactic for him. Guy has tried to follow a strict “grab em, flop on em & sub em” strategy all the way to the top and once again it worked like a charm. Guy gets the first round submission and remains in first place via a TB. For Bandito, you know he must be a loser as even closeted homo Asian Guy didn’t want his free love. He now goes into the final week with the very real chance of finishing last. An important win for El Freaky Fernando over a tough Ben Barnes ensures he keeps the pressure on Asian Guy and remains in high contention for the championship. Still in second place and separated by a TB, Fernando will need Asian Guy to slip up as well as win himself. For Barnes, at 6-8, even a winning record is beyond his grasp at this point, however, he does have a shot at the hot potato title in his final match up. Title chasing underdog The Big Boss has fought bitterly to keep the dream alive but I think at this point, third place is the highest he could go even if Fernando and Guy were to lose their final fights and Boss win his. This would be due to a tie break rule in which case Boss has lost to both of those opponents priot. Still, I could be wrong and we’ll have to find out in the last round. Boss defeated Top 3 hopeful Ishaan Thornton and effectively put and end to that ambition. Thornton will be simply fighting for pride and a finish potentially as high as 4th. Oscar Bukele managed a successful second defence of his hot potato title against underperforming Frankmaster Phlex. This defence ties him with The Big Boss and Asian Guy and so going into his final match up could potentially end the tournament as the most dominant hot potato title holder. With a record of 9-5, Bukele currently sits in 4th and with a win over Boss earlier in the tournament, he could still potentially snatch the third place spot for himself. For Phlex, this tournament run has likely been a disappointment for his management team but with a run of 7-7, he could at the very least finish with a positive winning record. Chadwich Raffleburg picked up his seventh knockout of the tournament and is in with a good chance of taking the Most KO’s prize. He defeated Jasur Ordilovokov who hasn’t been in the best of form of late but remains capable of snatching the odd win here and there. Raffleburg currently sits in fifth place but he could potentially move as high as 4th. I think due to his loss to Big Boss earlier in the tournament, there would be no leapfrogging him for 3rd no matter the results. For Jasur, he is clear of any last place humilation but largely he will be fighting for the glory of sweet victory in his remaining bout. Oh how the mighty hath fallen. The peoples champion and purveyor of all that is good and right in this tournament has been well and truly betrayed by the Gods of RNG. Reduced to being a walking medical emergency and a guaranteed free win, Farley now suffers the humiliation of losing to Juan Pablo Estrella. A fighter who’s early results were so bad that he still sits atop of the most brutalised list for cuts and injuries up to now. The fact that Estrella has been doing so much better of late is of no comfort to Farley and his management. The fact is Farley is the true heir to the throne and has been utterly wronged in this tournament. There’s going to be a huge asterisk next to this one when it’s all said and done. Someone sure fed Seth Christian his meth laced Wheaties this morning? Must have been the same stuff they give Biden when they need him to perform as Christian came into this one full of beans and defeated a fighter that most would not have picked him to beat. A first round submission over “Smooth” Booby Soul? No way! But that’s exactly what happened. Not too much to play for in the final round for Christian but Booby will have a bit of “Soul” searching to do as his final result will decide whether he finishes with a winning or losing record. Gaetano Villacci defeated Jedrek Piotrowicz by unanimous decision and there’s not much to say about that. We had a forfeit victory for Minor Cuevas as his opponent Jaiden Montgomery was rumoured to have been arrested for exposing himself to an undercover police dog. It’s a real shame this happened as it really does mess with the integrity of the tournament and we can only apologies to Cuevas on behalf of sexual deviant Montgomery and promise to vet our entrants a little more thoroughly in future. Please get some professional help Jaiden.

PRIZE HUNT After Round 14 1M for Most KO's Chadwick Raffelburg (7) Tyler Durden (7) Terry Farley (5) Ishaan Thornton (5) Minor Cuevas (5) Frankmaster Phlex (4) Booby Soul (4) Jedrek Piotrowicz (3) Gaetano Villacci (3) Jasur Ordilovokov (2) Freaky Fernando (2) Oscar Bukele (1) Ben Barnes (2) Juan Pablo Estrella (1) 1M for Most Sub's Big Boss (10) Asian Guy (9) Freaky Fernando (8) Oscar Bukele (6) Seth Christian (5) Jaiden Montgomery (2) Luis Caixinha (3) Gaetano Villacci (1) 1M for Fastest Finish (KO or Sub) 19 Seconds = Booby Soul (Rd 3 vs. Ben Barnes) 1M for Hot Potato Holder (Surprise) Current Hot Potato Title Holder = Oscar Bukele (Captured Rd.12 - Def. Big Boss + Chadwick Raffelburg + Frankmaster Phlex) 1M for Most Battered (Cuts/Inj combined) Juan Pablo Estrella) 2 inj / 0 cut (79 inj / 11 cut) = 90 Jedrek Piotrowicz) 3 inj / 0 cut (41 inj / 35 cut) = 76 Jaiden Montgomery) 0 inj / 0 cut (40 inj / 29 cut) = 69 Gaetano Villacci) 2 inj / 0 cut (34 inj / 33 cut) = 67 Luis Caixinha) 2 inj / 0 cut (58 inj / 4 cut) = 62 Booby Soul) 5 inj / 0 cut (63 inj / 0 cut) = 63 Ben Barnes) 2 inj / 0 cut (48 inj / 2 cut) = 50 Jasur Ordilovokov) 6 inj / 0 cut (52 inj / 0 cut) = 52 Minor Cuevas) 0 inj / 0 cut (40 inj / 2 cut) = 42 Chadwick Raffelburg) 3 inj / 0 cut (33 inj / 0 cut) = 33 Oscar Bukele) 2 inj / 0 cut (29 inj / 0 cut) = 29 Tyler Durden) 0 inj / 0 cut (17 inj / 4 cut) = 21 Asian Guy) 0 inj / 0 cut (12 inj / 8 cut) = 20 Freaky Fernando) 3 inj / 0 cut (19 inj / 0 cut) = 19 Big Boss) 2 inj / 0 cut (17 inj / 0 cut) = 17 Seth Christian) 0 inj / 0 cut (10 inj / 0 cut) = 10 Frankmaster Phlex) 0 inj / 0 cut (8 inj / 2 cut) = 12 Sancho Bandito) 0 inj / 0 cut (0 inj / 2 cut) = 2

I can’t tell if Seth Christian is alive or almost dead, since he won another fight, this time by sub in the first round against a guy with a winning record. I guess he got your soul, Bobby.

Injure

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