150k on Con

Bidding for 24 closed. @kss congrats!

BREAKING: Beerleague Abandons Just Fights Deal – “Not Even We Can Fix This”   In a stunning reversal, Beerleague MMA has officially pulled the plug on its proposed takeover of Just Fights, citing “structural disarray, financial black holes, and an alarming number of unpaid bar tabs.”   Beerleague Advisors: “This Is Beyond Even Our Brand of Chaos”   After weeks of speculation, Beerleague’s top advisors stepped in to review the purchase and promptly noped out of the deal faster than a fighter tapping to a rear-naked choke. Sources close to the discussions say that Beerleague’s leadership was initially excited about the challenge of turning Just Fights around but quickly realized they had vastly underestimated just how poorly the promotion was run.   “We thrive on chaos,” said Beerleague CEO Jeffrey Ramirez, wiping beer foam from his mustache. “We love mismanaged brawls, questionable decision-making, and a little light corruption—it’s kind of our thing. But this? This is next-level disaster. We’re talking unpaid fighters, missing fight gloves, and a guy named Clarence who apparently thinks ‘promoting’ means yelling at people in a Walmart parking lot.”   Bobbit’s Legacy in Shambles   Perhaps the biggest loser in this failed deal is longtime Just Fights leader Billy Bobbit, whose reputation has taken a serious hit. Once heralded as the “mad genius” behind Just Fights’ unpolished, barebones approach, Bobbit is now being described as more “mad” than “genius.”   “He’s got the energy of a man trying to explain a get-rich-quick scheme while standing on a folding chair,” said an anonymous Beerleague insider. “We thought he was eccentric. Turns out, he just has no idea what he’s doing.”   Bobbit, of course, had his own take. “Look, Just Fights is like a fine whiskey—it’s rough, burns a little, and sometimes makes you question your life choices. But that’s what makes it great,” he insisted. Unfortunately, the numbers (and the complete lack of basic financial records) suggest otherwise.   Clarence’s Marketing Blunders: A Dealbreaker   Another major sticking point was Just Fights’ promotional efforts—or lack thereof. While Beerleague had been prepared to overhaul Just Fights’ branding, their advisors ultimately decided it wasn’t salvageable.   “I sat down with Clarence to discuss marketing strategy,” said one Beerleague exec. “He handed me a stack of hand-drawn fight posters that looked like they were made with a broken crayon and said, ‘This is our social media campaign.’ I asked him about digital marketing, and he told me he was ‘pretty sure MySpace is making a comeback.’”   Reports indicate that Clarence was last seen trying to recruit new fans by handing out flyers outside a gas station, blissfully unaware that the deal had collapsed.   What’s Next?   With the acquisition dead, Just Fights is now in deeper trouble than ever. Insiders say that Bobbit is scrambling to secure new investors, though given his track record, that may be as likely as Clarence discovering how hashtags work.   Meanwhile, Beerleague is moving forward with alternative expansion plans, including a potential reality TV show and an all-you-can-drink fight night special.   “We gave it a shot,” Ramirez said with a dramatic sigh. “But some messes just aren’t worth cleaning up. Best of luck to Just Fights… they’re gonna need it.”   As for Just Fights, the future is uncertain, but one thing is clear: if they do go under, it won’t be with a bang—it’ll be with Clarence accidentally printing their bankruptcy notice on a stack of old fight flyers.

Accepted mate, sending the tycoon dollaridoos

I think the answer is obvious