Embrace Thy Epicity - Official Epicity Smack Talk & More

[bjornmma1]

HoarseWhisperer, you are the reason why I just decided to sign one of my fighters to this org. I was pretty sure I would sign a contract here altough he had a lot of offers, but your previews/reviews are just epic, and I can't wait to see my fighter on it !

[Beck]

Excellent work man! I love the dual language aspect.

 

Thank you

[Guest]

Here i come Lotus...

[Guest]

HoarseWhisperer, you are the reason why I just decided to sign one of my fighters to this org. I was pretty sure I would sign a contract here altough he had a lot of offers, but your previews/reviews are just epic, and I can't wait to see my fighter on it !

I appreciate comments like this more than I can say. Dick Hardwood pays me a king's ransom to do this work, but the truth is that I would lose interest if I didn't think people were interested in what I was writing. Or, in other words, the ego boost that I get from people complimenting my work is worth its weight in gold haha

 

But in all seriousness, I'm glad you guys have as much fun reading it as I have writing it. I'm almost to the point that I am more focused on writing than I am on playing... most of my fighters that have a future are still younger than 19 and not ready to fight, so this is helping me pass the months in style. Thanks guys

[KingEpicity]

Yeah Hoarse, you have earned every bit of praise you have gotten, you have done wonders in your time here and I couldn't thank you enough.

 

 

To spice things up I am announcing two things for the near future.

 

 

Epicity Productions will soon be hosting it's very first ever Press Conference which will future interviews for SEVERAL fighters on our roster, basically whoever is interested will have a chance to have their fighters highlighted and speak their minds to the world. Of course every participant will earn a paycheck as well. I do not have a set date for this but I will be contacting all managers to see if they are interested.

 

The second is our very first every Epicity podcast featuring yours truly, Dick Hardwood in person interviewed by the awesome Grant Brophy. I hope interest in this builds as I am already nervous

[Guest]

Yeah Hoarse, you have earned every bit of praise you have gotten, you have done wonders in your time here and I couldn't thank you enough.

 

 

To spice things up I am announcing two things for the near future.

 

 

Epicity Productions will soon be hosting it's very first ever Press Conference which will future interviews for SEVERAL fighters on our roster, basically whoever is interested will have a chance to have their fighters highlighted and speak their minds to the world. Of course every participant will earn a paycheck as well. I do not have a set date for this but I will be contacting all managers to see if they are interested.

 

The second is our very first every Epicity podcast featuring yours truly, Dick Hardwood in person interviewed by the awesome Grant Brophy. I hope interest in this builds as I am already nervous

 

I just caught the fact that you will be doing a podcast. Taking one more small step towards making Epicity Productions the best damn sports show, period.

[Guest]

 

I just caught the fact that you will be doing a podcast. Taking one more small step towards making Epicity Productions the best damn sports show, period.

you and Dick are the reason im signing my top young talents to Epicity.

[bjornmma1]

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/20/20w10.jpg

Dickie "The Dirt" Dirty

My first fight is signed and ready to go down in about one month. I'm going to face an opponent with double the amount of pro fights of me, so it will be interesting to see how I'll deal with a more veteran fighter. I'm looking forward to the fight and trying to work my way up to the top . Good luck to my opponent.

[Guest]

you and Dick are the reason im signing my top young talents to Epicity.

Come for the writing, stay for the Dick.

[KingEpicity]

Come for the writing, stay for the Dick.

Did you just come up with our new catch phrase?

[Guest]

It was either that or "come hungry, leave happy" which is given a seriously creepy undertone in this context.

[bjornmma1]

Oh and if you do a press conference, I'm very interested to take part in it. I have done a few for my org and it's fun!

[dvjmw]

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My name is Joe "Lights Out" Louis, I am putting the Heavyweight Division on Blast!!!!

I am great friends and training partners with Jeremy Smith. After my contract was up with my other org. He told me about Epicity Promotions. He didn't need to tell me that much, because I have been following this org. It has been all over the Tycoon World. The Media Hype for this Org. is off the charts!!

Anyway the heavyweight division better watch out, because when these hands get to your chin, your lights go out. Don't let my 6-5-1 record full you, under my new management, I am 2-1, my only loss was in a hard fought title fight. I make my Epicity debut April 4th when face Softly Weeping. When I am done with him he will be Loudly Crying! My Prediction for the fight............ Simple!

http://i60.tinypic.com/2lkxyl5.jpg http://i62.tinypic.com/2nm1x53.jpg http://i58.tinypic.com/3145lkl.jpg

Knockout!!!!

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"Lights Out"

They don't call us the "Sons of Thunder" for nothing!!

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Don't say I didn't warn you!!!!

[Guest]

http://mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1415328392Epicity.png

Embrace Thy Epicity

EP 19: Berserk vs Hardon is an mixed martial arts event to be held by: Epicity Productions, in conjunction with Walhalla Clothing, and the VENDETTA fighting alliance. This event will take place on March 28, 2015 at The Parisian Resort & Casino in Las Vegas, Nevda, USA.

[PROLOGUE]

Medium Hardon won the Light-Heavyweight Championship of the World when he defeated Berry Bubberman in one of the biggest upsets in Epicity Productions history; now saddle and prepare to mount the Hardon bandwagon as he attempts to make his first title defense.

He will be facing Urho Berserk, the younger brother of famed slugger Thor Berserk. Urho Berserk claimed the Relativity MMA world Light-Heavyweight title with an annihilation over his opponent, and he successfully defended that title two times before retiring the belt and moving on to greener pastures.

Prepare yourselves for the epic Epicity premiere as two world champions battle to determine who will become a two division linear world champion.

[OFFICIAL FIGHT CARD]

 

 

Light-Heavyweight Urho Berserk vs Medium Hardon

Light-Heavyweight Ruarc Harrisvs vs Frank Dozer

Middleweight Jerry Seinfeld vs Fat Retard

Welterweight Snich Clinchwork vs Ricky Marx

Heavyweight Rasputin Erasmus vs Satoshi Ishii

Lightweight Little Giant vs Scott Watt

Middleweight Guthrum Oskar vs Javier Alvarez

Welterweight Kirk Hall vs Jose Antonio Camacho

Lightweight Rab Ferd vs Rock Machine

Welterweight Dmitri Yurkov vs Raizer Sorrow

 

 

[THE PRELIMS]

 

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(Lightweight Division) Little Giant (1-2) versus Scott Watt (4-9)

(Preview)

Little Giant is a Ukrainian kickboxer that has moved to the United States to pursue an acting career. Tired of being type cast as a Russian bad guy in every minor film role he acquires (“but, I don't even sound to be Russian, comrade!”), he has given himself a pseudonym (did you really think that “little giant” was a Ukrainian name?) similar to the Kimbo Slice name, and has begun to fight in mixed martial arts.

 

Giant has fought thrice in QFC shows before being offered the opportunity to fight for Epicity Productions.

 

Scott Watt is a Muay Thai kickboxer that has fallen in love with submission grappling; he currently holds a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. A Canadian native, Watt has moved to the United States to make a career out of mixed martial arts. After being defeated four times in local QFC shows, he was picked up by the Hypnotic FC promotion, where he amassed a record of 4-3, scoring his first stoppage victories. Watt fought once for the Silent Fighting Championship, where he faced Ruarc Harris in an openweight bout, and was defeated via submission. In his Epicity debut, Scott Watt was submitted by Che Hoe.

 

 

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(Welterweight Division) Dmitri Yurkov (9-5) versus Raizer Sorrow (6-1)

(Preview)

Dmitri Yurkov is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and master submission artist. The majority of his fights have been in the QFC, where he has submitted the majority of his opponents. He has made smaller appearances in promotions such as AFLC and Hostility MMA before signing with Epicity Productions. In EP, he was defeated by future title challenger Jeremy Smith via first round knockout.

 

Raizer Sorrow, formerly known as Rick Ripper, is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu brown belt that is dangerous on the ground and in the clinch. He has fought his entire career in the QFC arena; he was defeated in his debut and has been on a tear of dominance ever since. I am personally excited to see what this QFC veteran is can do with an actual audience cheering him on and I will look forward to writing his story if he can continue to perform.

 

 

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(Welterweight Division) Dmitri Yurkov (9-5) versus Raizer Sorrow (6-1)

(Preview)

Dmitri Yurkov is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and master submission artist. The majority of his fights have been in the QFC, where he has submitted the majority of his opponents. He has made smaller appearances in promotions such as AFLC and Hostility MMA before signing with Epicity Productions. In EP, he was defeated by future title challenger Jeremy Smith via first round knockout.

 

Raizer Sorrow, formerly known as Rick Ripper, is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu brown belt that is dangerous on the ground and in the clinch. He has fought his entire career in the QFC arena; he was defeated in his debut and has been on a tear of dominance ever since. I am personally excited to see what this QFC veteran is can do with an actual audience cheering him on and I will look forward to writing his story if he can continue to perform.

 

 

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(Lightweight Division) Rab Ferd (1-1) versus Rock Machine (8-11)

(Preview)

Rab Ferd is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt that is making his promotional debut here at Epicity Productions. He has fought twice in the QFC before this, going 1-1. Mr. Ford comes from the legendary fighter manager Jack Burton, who is as experienced a manager as you could ever find. I am excited to see how Rab Ferd performs in his first fight here with Epicity Productions.

 

Rock Machine is a well rounded mixed martial artist, with ninteen professional fights to his credit. He has fought for Death Squad MMA, Insanity MMA, and SPNY; he is capable of finishing the fight on the feet as well as on the ground, although he would be crazy to let this fight touch the floor.

 

 

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(Welterweight Division) Kirk Hall (1-17) versus Jose Antonio Camacho (5-2)

(Preview)

Kirk Hall is a career QFC jobber, having competed seventeen times in small, single fight QFC shows; he has only won ONE Time in the QFC. He has been knocked out, pummeled into submission with punches, choked out, had his arms broken, been dropped with punches and hammered against the cage. This dude takes more of a pounding than one of those car crash test dummies. He is a twenty four year old BJJ brown belt that hopefully has great health care.

 

Jose Antonio Camacho is a Jiu-Jitsu brown belt that has to be smiling at his golden opportunity to get back into the win column here. He has competed five times in the QFC arena, winning all five fights impressively, and twice in EP. His two Epicity appearances have not lived up to the hype, however. In his defense, he has been matched up with killers before this fight.

 

 

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(Middleweight Division) Guthrum Oskar (5-3) versus Javier Alvarez (2-4)

(Preview)

Guthrum Oskar Guthram Oskar is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu brown belt and ground n pound specialist; he started his career in the QFC, stopping Brotha Lynch in the first round. He fought for the Barbarian FC promotion exclusively for several months, amassing a 2-2 record before competing at TWGC 4, the light-heavyweight edition. He was defeated in the first round of the contest.

 

He next fought for Hostility MMA, defeating Alexander Lemmywinks and Ed Gennero before being knocked out by Donnie Datsik. He was then dropped by his management team, who went idle. Under new management, he is ready to start his career anew.

 

Javier Alvarez is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu brown belt; like his opponent, he focuses on ground and pound rather than submissions. This will be his second showing with EP after he was stopped by Fat Retard in his debut.

 

 

Next Up: The Main Card

[Guest]

[MAIN CARD]

 

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(Heavyweight Division) Rasputin Erasmus (7-4) versus Satoshi Ishii (13-8)

(Preview)

Rasputin Erasmus started fighting as an amateur boxer that had some success in the sport, although he was defeated in his professional boxing debut. He made the switch to professional mixed martial arts, signing up to fight for a local FORBIDDEN VIOLENCE fight; he stopped Kevin Wooten in just under one minute. After losing a pair of close fights, Erasmus rebounded by knocking out Sarkis Zakoyan and Marcus DeWayne, respectively. Rasputin Erasmus then faced Robbie Luatua in what would become the bloodiest fight of the night; both men received nasty cuts and ate hard punches en route to the doctor stoppage of Erasmus.

 

After stopping his next opponent, Rasputin challenged Bernard Bear for the heavyweight championship, knocking him out in just two-and-a-half minutes. Rasputin would never defend his title; he would fight for Relativity MMA next, suffering his second defeat due to the scar tissue that I wish you saw, sarcastic mister know-it-all. Rasputin fought one last time for Relativity, stopping Sarkis Zakoyan in just fifty seconds.

 

In his Epicity debut, Erasmus stopped Shezzo Wicked with strikes in the second round.

 

Apparently we now have TWO fighters named Satoshi Ishii; today we will be taking about the one that is 13-8 and is making his Epicity debut this weekend.

 

Satoshi Ishii is the former Attack Fight League heavyweight champion; he successfully defended his title three times, with three brutal stoppages due to strikes. Unlike the OTHER Satoshi Ishii, this version uses boxing to get in close, uses the clinch, and uses ground and pound from the top position to stop opponents. Confused yet? Me too.

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(Welterweight Division) Snich Clinchwork (4-0) versus Ricky Marx (1-1)

(Preview)

Snich Clinchwork is an undefeated MMA fighter that specializes in Muay Thai; he uses leg kicks from a distance to set up his true strategy: clinchwork. It's in his name, it's in his fight history: Snich is a lethal clinch fighter. He has serious knock out power in his strikes, and has knocked out all but one of his four opponents.

 

His entire career has been spent fighting for Epicity Productions; he fights infrequently due to his heavy training regiment, which leads to him having a lower ranking than he deserves. According to the Hoarse Ranking System (HRS), which might or might not be a real thing, Snich is ranked #4 in the welterweight division. (I don't rank people that have yet to make their debut...)

 

Ricky Marx is a division newcomer with an MMA record of one win and one loss, both of which have come in the QFC arena. Despite having a fairly limited standup game, Marx is a lethal ground fighter with a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

 

 

(Middleweight Division) Jerry Seinfeld (9-0) versus Fat Retard (1-1)

(Preview)

Jerry Seinfeld is an undefeated mixed martial arts fighter. He started MMA career with a QFC match, smashing his opponent in under forty seconds. Despite showing incredible stopping power, Seinfeld was dropping from his amangement team. Freshly picked up by a new manager, Seinfeld signed to fight for the Last Man Standing promotion, where he fought for the middleweight championship in his fourth fight with the company. Jerry Seinfeld managed to defend his title four times, winning three 'of the night' awards in the process. And was then dropped by yet another management team.

 

Jerry Seinfeld is fighting for his third management team, and will be facing a tough opponent in his Epicity debut.

 

Fat Retard, one of the few fighter names to give me pause, has fought twice under the Epicity Banner, with one stoppage victory, and one stoppage defeat. This bulbuous moron is a Muay Thai specialist, sizeable striking power.

 

 

[CO-MAIN EVENT]

 

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(Light-heavyweight Division) Ruarc Harris (7-5) versus Frank Dozer (7-1)

(Preview)

Ruarc Harris used to be known as Ruarc Lacy; he had his name changed since his EP debut, which caused me about three solid minutes of absolutely focus consuming confusion. As I mentioned last time, Ruarc Harris is nicknamed “The Meat Hook”, possibly because of his strong third hook grip from back mount. It's a Jiu-Jitsu thing, don't worry about it.

 

Ruarc was born to his parents: Robert Lacy, and his mother, Betty Harris, in Glasgow, Scotland. At a young age, Ruarc watched his father, Robert Lacy, leave the family and moved to the United States for unspecified reasons. Ruarc spent his entire childhood competing with every other boy that he came across, almost as if to impress his absent father. This competitive fire led Ruarc Lacy into a life of wrestling, where he placed near the top of his division each year. However, after college, Ruarc Lacy left home in search of the enigma in his life: Robert Lacy.

 

His journey first brought him to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, where he last heard his father might be. With no work history, Ruarc found it difficult to pay for his travels; an acquaintance that he made along the way encouraged him to sign up for a local Vale Tudo competition, and insisted that his wrestling base would give him some advantage. Ruarc took this offer, fighting in a club QFC fight, submitting his opponent in just thirty-five seconds.

 

Ruarc then fought out a three fight contract for the Barbarian Figh Club promotion, acruing a record of 1-2. Ruarc fought for minor shows, including Impact MMA, UNFC Tokyo, and the European Fighting League, as his dream of finding and impressing his father took him around the world.

 

Finally, after two years of searching, Ruarc Lacy found his father. Or, more pointedly, his father found him; Ruarc was billed to fight at SFC Fight Night 2, his first fight in America, Los Angeles to be precise, and his father contacted him out of the blue. The meeting proved less than fruitful... Robert Lacy was a down on his luck failed movie star, and Ruarc quickly learned that Robert only wanted to get some of his fight purse. Following his domination of Scott Watt that night, Ruarc Lacy said goodbye to his father for the last time.

 

Fast forward two months; Ruarc Lacy has just submitted Seymour Til Alexandros The Seventeenth in the second round and earned a sizeable bonus for his performance. Ruarc Lacy moved his mother to Los Angeles, bought a small house for the two of them to live in, and changed his name to reflect his true parentage: Ruarc Harris.

 

Frank Dozer was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, to an average middle class family. Unlike many of his peers, Frank Dozer wasn't raised in a dysfunctional household, wasn't brought up with feelings of neglect, or a need to prove himself; he just loved to compete. His most defining quality was his unstoppable desire to be the best that he could be. Frank was never bullied as a child, but his family enrolled him in boxing classes for his own protection. Rather than use his newfound skills for self-defense, Dozer would instead become a small time hero to those that were unwilling or unable to protect themselves. As a result, Frank Dozer became known as sort of a bully slayer, and was known for having incredible punching power as well. Dozer became a fan of Randy Couture, and loved the fact that Couture would take on men twice his size and dominate them.

 

Frank Dozer tried his hand at professional boxing, but his desire to follow in the foot steps of his idol was too great; he soon found himself standing behind a chain link fence, clad with shorts and 4oz gloves, facing another brawler in a barely sanctioned fight on a Native American reservation. In just thirty-five seconds, he laid his opponent out flat. He would fight three times in Hilo, Hawaii, for the HFC MMA promotion; he would go undefeat, with three first round stoppages to his credit.

 

He next fought a single fight for the World Combat Fighting Championship, knocking out his opponent in the first round. Dozer was quickly signed to a new promotion with a young crop of fighters known as Epicity Productions; in his EP debut, he went the distance for the first time in his career, defeating Boogie Knight in the process.

 

Frank Dozer was tapped to fight Berry Bubberman for the Epicity Light-Heavyweight Championship of the world. Dozer was considered a sizeable favorite going into their match; unfortunately, the reality was much different than the expectations. Berry Bubberman would out strike Dozer in the first round, and stop him in the second when Dozer was too exhausted to put up a respectable defense.

 

Stopped but not defeated, Frank Dozer returned to the EP cage with a narrow unanimous decision victory over Brian Pereira.

 

 

[MAIN EVENT]

 

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http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/belt/20150113202340ep.png(Light-heavyweight Division, Championship bout) Urho Berserk (8-1) versus Medium Hardon© (7-4)

(Preview)

Medium “The Stiff 2” Hardon is the reigning Epicity Light-Heavyweight Champion of the world. He has fought three times for the Epicity Productions company, and holds a perfect, undefeated record of three victories in that span.

 

Medium Hardon was raised in a family that is dedicated to mixed martial arts; his older brother challenged for the EUFC heavyweight championship three times with over forty fights on his resume. Since Big Hardon retired, Medium Hardon has taken his place at the head of the family, giving inspiration to his younger sibling: Little Hardon, as well as his Nephew, Big Hardon Jr. Medium Hardon is the first member of his family to wear championship gold in mixed martial arts, but he attributes his success to the elite training he received from helping his older brother to prepare for fights.

 

Medium Hardon started his own mixed martial arts career in March of 2014 with a first round stoppage of Jack Popov. Medium would soon sign to fight exclusively for the Gamma: Contenders league, where he would fight to a record of 2-3. He would be the first to admit that he got by on name value alone in those early days, but many pundits wrote him off as being a poor man's Big Hardon. That is, until February, 2015; Medium Hardon was on a three fight winning streak, and slated to fight for his first world title. With his brother in his corner, Medium Hardon was tasked with taking on Berry Bubberman, the reigning Epicity Productions light-heavyweight kingpin and feared striker. While most people believed that the scrap would be an entertaining one, very few people gave Medium Hardon a chance against the famed Bubberman.

 

The fight itself would be infinitely more competitive than anyone dreamed, with Bubberman out striking the striker 50-31 on the feet, and trading short punches in the clinch. Both men were exhausted, but Berry Bubberman was beyond exhausted; he was broken. As the announcers declared their new champion, Bubberman was carried out of the ring by his cornermen. Bubberman retired from Epicity Productions soon thereafter.

 

Urho Berserk comes from a fighting family with a rich history as well; Urho is the younger brother of TRMTFL and TTFC World Featherweight Champion Thor Berserk.

 

Urho Berserk started his MMA journey with the Relativity MMA promotion, defeating Investitor Gradnje twice with less than two weeks between each fight. Berserk stopped Amun Ra in the third round of their fight. Urho Berserk next faced Ho Lee Fuk for the vacant light-heavyweight championship of the world, stopping Ho Lee in the first round to become the Relativity Light-Heavyweight Champion of the world.

 

Urho Berserk next faced Wi Tu Lo in a non-title fight, and was defeated for the first time in his career, via first round knockout. Berserk would next make his first title defense in a rematch with Ho Lee Fuk, winning via second round knockout. And in his most recent appearance, Berserk faced Wi Tu Lo in a rematch, with his championship on the line. Berserk would stop Lo in the first round this time.

 

[A Closer Look]

(Urho Berserk)

Height: 6'4

Weight: 220 lbs

Record: 8-1

Knockouts: 5

Submissions: 0

Style: Muay Thai

Career Achievements or Accolades: Former Relativity Light-Heavyweight Champion, Fight of the Night (x2)

 

(Medium Hardon)

Height: 6'1

Weight: 220 lbs

Record: 7-4

Knockouts: 4

Submissions: 0

Style: Muay Thai, Wrestling

Career Achievements or Accolades: Epicity Light-Heavyweight Champion, Fight of the Night, Four Fight Win Streak (3 Wins in EP)

 

 

Next Up: EP 22 Main/Co-Main Event Weigh-Ins

[dvjmw]

Outstanding!!

[KingEpicity]

Yeah Hoarse is a terminator sent to destroy human kind by overpowering their brain with awesomeness. It's confirmed The human brain can only take so much epicness before it explodes.

 

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[Guest]

OPEN WEIGH-IN: Main Event/Co-Main Event

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The Announcer screamed into his microphone, “Thank you all for coming out to this! We love putting on this extra show for the fans. After the unexpected popularity of the first open weigh-in, we decided to hold this one with a larger audience section available! There are over one thousand fans that turned up to witness this presentation.

Okay, first up, in the light-heavyweight division: Frank “Baldy” Dooozer!”

Frank Dozer smiled on his way to the stage. After stripping down to his fight shorts, Frank gave a little wave to the audience before stepping on the scale. Frank Dozer made 205 lbs on the dot, flexed for the camera, and made his way to the end of the stage to await his opponent.

 

“And his opponent: Ruarc “The Meat Hook” Harris!”

Ruarc Harris, formerly known as Ruarc Lacy, was all business in his black t-shirt and track pants. He disrobed, stood on the scale, and made weight while giving a dead pan stare to the camera. He gave a double arm flex for the camera before walking directly to his opponent, Frank Dozer, and putting up his fists for the staredown.

Both men brought the intensity, standing very close to one another; Mr. Hardwood gave them a few seconds to stare before breaking them up, shaking their hands, and sending them on their way.

The Announcer then yelled, “Next up, for all the marbles: Urho Berserk versus Medium Hardon!”

“First up on the scale, the former Relativity MMA Light-Heavyweight Champion of the World... Urho Berserk!”

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Urho Berserk walked to the stage with a serious look on his face. As he disrobed, he threw his hat into the audience. Urho Berserk is a natural light-heavyweight in that he doesn't have to cut any weight whatsoever to make the limit. He looked absolutely vibrant as the NSAC official announced his weight, “TWO-ZERO-FIVE FOR MR. BERSERK!”

Urho slowly redressed himself, took a sip of his water, and made his way to the end of the stage.

The big screen TV set kicked to life with a highlight reel of Medium Hardon standing toe-to-toe with Stew Sauced in his Epicity debut; Hardon threw a half-speed uppercut, Sauced responded with his own uppercut, and Hardon pushed forward with a series of strikes followed by a slapping head kick that dropped Sauced to his back. The referee jumped between them as Medium Hardon towered over his opponent, raining down blow after blow.

 

Next, the program shows a highlight reel of Medium Hardon slamming Boogie Knight to the canvas again and again; that big afro being smashed through the chain link fencing as Hardon pounded him with strikes from above.

 

And, finally, it shows Hardon trading short range power hooks with Berry Bubberman, and ends in him suplexing him to the floor. The very last scene of the video shows Dick Hardwood wrapping the Epicity Productions light-heavyweight championship belt around the waist of Medium Hardon.

 

Medium Hardon made his way to the stage with a giant smirk on his face. Behind him were his two brothers: Big Hardon and Little Hardon. You might say that it was a Hardon-fest. I mean, you probably wouldn't say that, but you might.

http://i.imgur.com/tW5jSCe.jpg

Anyways, Medium Hardon looked absolutly drained as he stripped down to his thong style of underwear and climbed atop the scale. As the announcer prepared to start plying the scale, Hardon pushed as much air out of his lungs as he could, to make every possible ounce count for him. After a long pause, the official announced, “TWO-OH-FIVE!” to the cheers of the audience.

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Medium Hardon took his shirt from his brother, threw it over his shoulder, and took a long pull from his drink. He walked over to his opponent, clad only in his underwear, and put his hands up lazily. Urho Berserk held his fists high by his cheeks and leaned in close to the reigning champion. Medium Hardon faked a lunge, trying to make Urho flinch; Urho Berserk gave an unamused scowl and extended a middle finger to his opponent.

Medium Hardon started to push forward, and the staff in attendance pushed between them, trying to prevent another Lotus Suzinuki/Jeremy Smith scenario. Medium Hardon was yelling over the sea of bodies to his challenger and Urho Berserk was pushing forward fruitlessly as though he wanted to get at the champion. The audience ate it up, but the drama was kept to a minimum.

The Stage Announcer walked over to Medium Hardon and said, “What are your thoughts on Urho Berserk as an opponent and what is going down tomorrow night?”

Medium Hardon took the mic and received a deafening roar of cheers from the fans in attendance. Once the noise level subsided, Hardon said, “Yo... What is up, Las Vegas?” And the cheers picked back up. Hardon was loving every minute of this; his opponent, Urho Berserk, stood in the background with his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face.

Hardon continued, “Urho Berserk, Berry Bubberman... where do they find these clowns? I am going to BURY this guy tomorrow night. There will be an after party to celebrate my victory over at Wild Bob's Bar! You're ALL INVITED! FIRST ROUND'S ON ME!”

The audience showed their approval to their champion.

Next, the announcer brought the microphone to Urho Berserk. Most of the fans were silent, although there was the occasional boo. The announcer said, “Urho, give us your thoughts on tomorrow night's fight and how it's going to go down.”

Urho leaned in close to the microphone and said, “Tomorrow night I am going to go out there and do what I do best. I am a finisher... that's what I do. You guys will see tomorrow night.”

The fans booed loudly now. It was obvious that they were supporting their local fighter over the division newcomer. Medium Hardon walked over, stood next to Urho, and took to the mic once again, saying, “Oh c'mon, "Yeeer Ho", you couldn't even finish Investitor Gadget or whatever that can's name was. You're gonna finish me? Son. Please.”

Urho Berserk walked back over to the mic, fire in his eyes, and said, “How many times have you been knocked out again?”

Hardon retorted, “Be careful, I'm not one of the two people you keep beating every-other-fight, this is a real fight now, boy.”

The announcer tried to interject, "Now, let's keep this civil. No profanity, plea-"

Urho Berserk interrupted by grabbing the mic, giving Medium the finger, and saying, “Fuck you, bitch.”

As the announcer pulled the microphone away, you could just make out single phrases from the ensuing argument between the two champions... you could make out Hardon yelling "can crusher" and Urho yelling back "punching bag".

The announcer stepped back, surprised, and said, “WHOA. Okay. THAT'S going to be all the time we have tonight. Make sure you tune in tomorrow night to see these two duke it out to determine who will be the light-heavyweight champion of the world!”

http://mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1415328392Epicity.png

Next up: EP 19 - Review (3/28)

[Guest]

And after all the build up there is no show

[KingEpicity]

Just happens tonight

[Guest]

And after all the build up there is no show

 

The event slipped temporarily into the Bermuda Hexagon that is actually shaped more like a triangle. This isn't a missing event; rather, it is light from Venus reflecting off of swamp gas seeping out of Uranus.

[StevenU]

Lotus Suzinuki-

I am formally requesting that epicity drug test both myself and Tyrone for crack crack randomly through out our training camps. I have word from a reliable source he once sold a friends house to afford the habit.

[StevenU]

Typed out on phone sorry for doubles of words and what not

[Guest]

Tyrone Biggums- "i smoke rocks to get high"

[KingEpicity]

Disclaimer from EP CEO Dick Hardwood: "Epicity Productions does NOT support the smoking of rocks, minerals or any other form of crystal. Our investigation team has already launched a full investigation into the matter. Below you can find a picture of them on the job."

 

http://www.dramafever.com/st/img/epth/4613_3.jpg

 

 

"Upon even further investigation, we suspect our entire investigation team was under the influence of LSD. Our secondary investigative team has decided to launch of future investigation into the investigation of the primary investigators."