Madness Posted May 12, 2016 Report Share Posted May 12, 2016 You are very lucky my friend that cursing is forbidden in Islam. As salamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu. As an atheist I find you all to be fair game. What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12. Why do Jewish men like watching porno movies backwards? They like the part where the prostitute gives the money back. A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street. A 13-year old boy walks in front of them.The priest says to the rabbi "that boy is hot, isn't he? Let's screw him." The rabbi replies "screw him out of what?" Two Muslims walk into a bar. Just kidding. They're not allowed. What do you call a Muslim doctor? Amed What do you get when you cross a Jehova's Witness with an atheist? Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason. Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madness Posted May 12, 2016 Report Share Posted May 12, 2016 During the Reign of Terror of the French Revolution, one morning's executions began with three men: a rabbi, a Catholicpriest, and a rationalist skeptic.The rabbi was marched up onto the platform first. There, facing the guillotine, he was asked if he had any last words. And the rabbi cried out, "I believe in the one and only true God, and He shall save me." The executioner then positioned the rabbi below the blade, set the block above his neck, and pulled the cord to set the terrible instrument in motion. The heavy cleaver plunged downward, searing the air. But then, abruptly, it stopped with a crack just a few inches above the would-be victim's neck. To which the rabbi said, "I told you so.""It's a miracle!" gasped the crowd. And the executioner had to agree, letting the rabbi go.Next in line was the priest. Asked for his final words, he declared, "I believe in Jesus Christ the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost who will rescue me in my hour of need." The executioner then positioned this man beneath the blade. And he pulled the cord. Again the blade flew downward thump! creak! ...stopping just short of its mark once more."Another miracle!" sighed the disappointed crowd. And the executioner for the second time had no choice but to let the condemned go free.Now it was the skeptic's turn. "What final words have you to say?" he was asked. But the skeptic didn't hear. Staring intently at the ominous engine of death, he seemed lost. Not until the executioner poked him in the ribs and the question was asked again did he reply."Oh, I see your problem," the skeptic said pointing. "You've got a blockage in the gear assembly, right there!" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 13, 2016 Report Share Posted May 13, 2016 What do Jewish pedophiles say? “Hey kid, want to buy some candy?” What’s the worst thing about getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger. Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature? Because spray paint wasn’t invented until 1949. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenlow73 Posted May 13, 2016 Report Share Posted May 13, 2016 Why did the children of Israel roam the desert for 40 years? Somebody lost a quarter. Did you hear about the new Jewish car? It breaks on a dime and then picks it up. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UniConor Posted May 13, 2016 Report Share Posted May 13, 2016 They say there is safety in numbers, tell that to 7 million jews. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenlow73 Posted May 13, 2016 Report Share Posted May 13, 2016 How do you fit 100 jews in a compact car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the backseat, 95 in the ashtray. Did you hear about the black jewish guy? He has to sit in the back of the oven. What a deal! Buy a copy of Schindler's List, get a free pair of oven mitts. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 14, 2016 Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 Now Jesus was a badass... he really went all out. He managed to feed thousands on a few breads and fishes. But Hitler... he had to one up him....... he made 6 million Jews toast! What's the difference between the boy scouts and jews? Boy scouts came back from camp. Jesus walks into a Holiday Inn, puts 4 nails down on the counter and says "Hey, could you put me up for the night??" What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You only need 1 nail to hang the picture. Why wouldn't Jesus be good on a hockey team? He would just get nailed to the boards. Why was the leper hockey game stopped? There was a face off in the corner. Why did God make homosexuality a sin? His boyfriend thought it was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenlow73 Posted May 14, 2016 Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 and now for my 5,000th post....first of all, they only used three nails for crucifixion... What did Noah say on the 39th day of being on the ark? God Dam it! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAYNE Posted May 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 A priest a rabbi and a science teacher are out on a fishing boat with a class full of kids when it starts to sink. The science teacher yells "We have to save the kids!" The rabbi responds "Screw the kids!" and the priest says ".... do you think we have time?" 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 14, 2016 Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 Did you hear the Palestine arsenal is completely depleted? They ran out of rocks. Q. Does a tree falling in a forest make a sound? A. It makes the same sound Joe Paterno does when he finds out his assistant coach is ass-raping a 10-year-old. All these Penn State jokes are getting old... unlike the kid in the shower Jerry Sandusky walks into an elementary school just as classes are let out for the day, when a teacher approaches him & asks, "so which child is yours?" Sandusky replies: "I don't care, surprise me." At Sandusky's arraignment, the judge reportedly asked him, "How does 8-9 years sound?" He replied, "Sexy." What did the woman on the beach say to Jerry Sandusky? She said "Hey! You're in my son!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UniConor Posted May 14, 2016 Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 Two lepers playing poker, One threw in his hand and the other laughed his head off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walnut23 Posted May 16, 2016 Report Share Posted May 16, 2016 I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.Which makes me an eighth theist. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walnut23 Posted May 16, 2016 Report Share Posted May 16, 2016 I hate when a girl says the wrong name during sex.They know my name isn't Someone Help. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAYNE Posted May 16, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2016 A pedophile and a kid are walking in to the forest. The kid says "I dont want to go in there, i'm scared!" The pedophile says "YOU'RE scared? I have to find my way out alone!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 16, 2016 Report Share Posted May 16, 2016 I was raping a woman the other night and she said "PLEASE THINK OF MY CHILDREN!!!!!".... kinky bitch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UniConor Posted May 16, 2016 Report Share Posted May 16, 2016 I raped this girl last night It sucks she gave me aids How does a 9 year old get aids you ask? i guess my sister hangs out in the wrong crowd. 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walnut23 Posted May 17, 2016 Report Share Posted May 17, 2016 On the perfect date, what question do you ask a girl twice?So... can I come inside? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madness Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 A Canadian, Cuban, and white supremacist walk into a bar. The bar tender says, "What would you like to drink, Ted Cruz?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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