The Mad Hatter- Madness Returns

[popart]

“Oh Alice, you’ve gone completely mad!”

Alice had awoken from her coma just enough to hear her mother’s words. She had fallen into a well after being tripped by a rabbit she had chased from a nearby riverbank. She wasn’t the most graceful of lasses in London. However, what she lacked in grace she made up for with creativity. She was always dreaming- which is probably why she fell into a fucking well to begin with.

She always dreamed of a place she called “Wonderland.” A place where forests were eternally green, the animals ran freely, and nay a citizen of the land knew pain. 

Yet when she hit her head, Alice returned to a place she could not recognize. The leaves had withered, and a black sap oozed from the trees. Animals were nowhere to be found, yet pools of blood could be seen in numbers.

“Well, I suppose things could be worse.” Alice said.

“Dear me, we’re out of tea and biscuits!” Some dopey brit said.

Alice stepped back in shock. “Bloody hell!” She exclaimed. “What has happened to Wonderland?”

“You had quite a fall-“ a voice says behind her. 

“Garfield?”

“Wrong lazy cat, shitbag.” The Cheshire Cat said.  
“Follow me if you seek the solution to your troubles”

And so she followed, until they happened upon the Mad Hatter. His fat rolls were bursting from his Arsenal kit, as he shoved biscuit after biscuit into his mouth.

“it’s worse than I thought.” Alice said. 

“Madness returns indeed!” The Hatter said, crumbs falling onto the red cloth.

“What is smooth, but should be full of bumps?
What gives life, and yet is just a lump?”

Alice pondered for a moment, before her eyes lit up. “An egg!”

“Your brain, you dumb cvnt. You cracked your head open and let all this evil in. Wonderland has manifested to show each of the seven sins. In order to defeat these seven deadly sins, you’ll need seven deadly wins. None of that weak decision shit!”
“But I can’t do it!” Alice cried. “MMATycoon is an antiquated game that doesn’t allow women to fight!

“And i’m a giant pussy-’ The cat said. 

“Fuckin a! Fine, i’ll do it myself.” The Mad Hatter said.

And so, the terms were set. Only Seven Knockout victories at Bantamweight would lift Wonderland from this Madness. Would the Mad Hatter succeed, and return Wonderland to it’s original Nirvana, or doom Alice to a lifetime of chaos?

 

 

[Bleakardor]

haha Outstanding!

[Bleakardor]

Wow!  Someone downvoted that?  LOL  why?

[The1rstSaint]

Start forcing the tap Mad Hatter, Madness is forever.

[popart]

Only seven knockouts at the cheesiest midgetweight division would cure the curse of evil that had broken the psyche of poor Alice Liddell's noggin, and the Mad Hatter was the only midget willing to take on the job. Dodging lazy, pillow fisted punches from foes, Hatter cracked his way through seven foes- and with the crack of Danylo Belenuik's skull against the mat of the cage, the foundations of wonderland reformed. A bolt of lightning struck the landscape of Wonderland, and as Alice opened her eyes she saw the beauty that had been so lost- fresh, green grass began to spread over the barren landscape. The black storm of night turned to a warm, summer day with birds singing and caterpillars crawling. 

 

Who knew violence could be so healing?

 

"Alice, you're awake!" she heard her mother say, fully awake for the first time in weeks.

Alice smiled. She was happy to awake, happy to have her Wonderland back, and most importantly happy to have not died in a fucking well. 

She looked around the room. In walked her doctor, a midget with bright red hair, a top hat and blood splattered along his dress shirt and bow tie. It was the safest she had ever felt.