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Umbrella Corp. - Official Thread


igorbyhenikov

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Interview with Bragi Ragnarson

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Former Vice President of CF:L, lied by Vladimir Byhenkikov

Reporter: I am here with Bragi Ragnarson! The man who dosen't have to be introduced to anyone, true gentelman, polish lady boy, businesman, manager and lied by Vladimir Byhenkikov. Mr. Ragnarson, could you tell us something about the situation?

Bragi: Please, call me Bragi, we don't have to be so formal. Well, I don't think that I am the only one from who Vlad made a fool. Everyone who participated at smack talk had been lied.

Reporter: Do you have any evidences?

Bragi: Yes, here is the proof*.

Reporter: The whole MMA world will be interested in seeing this... Your situation with CF:L and Vlad seems to be tense, isn't it?

Bragi: Well, I was sacked from my job, but I received my promised salary.

Reporter: Why did he sacked you?

Bragi: Salary which he offered me was too high for him, also we can't call our renegotiations succesful. I am not going to work for free, since I have experience in running an org. Currently I am looking for a job in an org.

Reporter: You have a fighter in the org - Max Eisenhardt, who is considered as 1st contender in the line to the title, do you think that your current relations with Vladimir might ruin his career in the org?

Bragi: I am not afraid of it. If Vlad sacks Max, we will find a new home for him without any problems. CF:L, now known as Umbrella Corp. isn't the only org in the world for young fighters like Maxie. There are a few other orgs like Dominance for example.

Reporter: Have you ever thought about that brand new org Colosseum in Amsterdam?

Bragi: Well, I have said a few bad words about that org and it's owner, but I am open for any offer. Of course, at the moment, Max has a contract with Umbrella Corp, so it's not good time to talk about his new home.

Reporter: Thank you for the interview! Wish you luck with fighting for justice!

*mentioned proof is the quoted post

 

 

 

Hahahahahahaha.

 

 

http://minfil.org/jdJ3eab8b5/ladyboy.png

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Vladimir Byhenikov's



Post-Fight Media Scrum



Vlad: Welcome everyone. I am very busy so let's keep this straight forward.



Reporter: James Dean Rockefeller did it again! How did you score the fight going in to the fifth round?



Vlad: I scored the fight 2-2 going in to the fifth, James wasn't in any serious danger any point in the fight, but Takeru Masaru was able to control him for couple rounds and it was anybody's fight going in to the fifth. Then James did what James does best, he showed that heart of a champion. Congratulations for him.



Reporter: What's next for James?



Vlad: Our brand new 145 lbs champion, Vesa Sykk, showed interest to go up and challenge James so most likely that is the fight that we are going to see next. And Ville Paakkari is going to face Israel Kamakawiwo Ole for the number one contendership spot.



Reporter: Guy Georges surprised everyone when he submitted Emilio Izturis and won the 185 lbs title!



Vlad: That was something special. Max Eisenhardt was originally planned to be the next challenger for Emilio, but Max felt that he wasn't ready yet, so i had this extempore idea, and i called Georges personally and asked if he were interested to go up to 185 lbs and challenge the champion. He answered "fuck yeah", took the biggest challenge of his career and now he is the champion. Congratulations for him.



Reporter: Izturis almost stopped Georges in the first round, are we possibly going to see instant rematch?



Vlad: Hell yes he is getting instant rematch. Look what he has done in the division, and that last fight definitely left questions in the air. I think this is the classic situation, where one fight is not enough. I want to see the rematch, everyone wants to see the rematch.



Reporter: Nelson Dela took back what he considered to be his all this time and won the 170 lbs title for the second time. What's next for him?



Vlad: Nelson will defend his title against Dr John Zoidberg, also Omar Cluzet and George Kelly will find out who is getting the next shot for the title.




Vlad: That's all? Thanks guys, i am going now. I have a lot work to do with the company.



Event Results


52 - Putin vs Mongtong


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53 - No Limits Preview

February 22nd

Hard Knocks - London (3,000)

------------------

Main event

Heavyweight Bout

Samppa Linna v Kurt Juggernaut

In tonight’s Main Event, we will see two 22 years old heavyweight fighters. Coming out of Turku, Finland, derived from Muay Thai- Sampa Linna, will face boxer coming out of Starusberg, Germany, but fighting under United States flag- Kurt Juggernaut. They both best aspects of game is standing fight, but Sampa Linna can be looking for taking this one to the clinch, where he can have great advantage, while on full distance they look quite equal. And Sampa Linna is the one, who looks to be better fighter when this fight would land on the ground- Juggernaut isn’t too familiar with Brazilian jiu-jitsu, but he also wasn’t submitted during his professional career. Both fighters have everything needed to win this fight and provide us great entertainment.

My Prediction: Sampa Linna by TKO (Strikes)

------------------

Co - Main Event

Heavyweight Bout

James Gaston v Heinz Doofenshmirtz

Co-Main Event of the Night will be also in heavyweight division. 23 years old fighter derived from Sweden- James Gaston, will face 23 years old German coming from Komukagure- ‘The Mad Doctor’ Heinz Doofenshmirtz. If Gaston is thinking about winning this fight, he must stay out and strike very wisely, because Doofensmirtz has everything what’s needed to dominate him in every other aspect- he seems to be much more well-rounded fighter here. I’m afraid, that typical boxer can be not ready to face as good martial artist ‘The Mad Doctor’ is.

My Prediction: Heinz Doofenshmirtz by Submission (Armbar)

------------------

Main Card

Welterweight Bout

Mike Blow v Erik Gustafsson

In the next fight we will watch another two great fighters: 21 years old grappler from Melbourne, Australia- Mike ‘The Death’ Blow, and 22 years old Muay Thai fighter derived from Karlstad, Sweden- Erik ‘Falcon Punch’ Gustafsson. Gustaffson will be surely trying to resolve this fight standing, but Mike Blow will be doing everything he can to takie this ground to the ground. If he won’t be KOd, I think that Mike Blow can control this fight. Gustafsson will have to play it wisely and stay focused for all the time- one mistake and probably to end of the round he will have to stay on the ground- most dangerous area of Mike Blow, where he has shown that he can submit his opponents in many ways.

My Prediction: Mike Blow by Submission (Triangle)

------------------

Main Card

Heavyweight Bout

Rob Gaghner v Markku Huntti

In next fight we will see two 18 years old heavyweight talents. Muay Thai fighter derived from Montreal, Canada- Rob ‘Big Right Hand’ Gaghner, will face ‘Supe Suomalainen’ from Korso City, Finland- Markku Huntti. Rob Gaghner has started his MMA trainings not long time ago, so unfortunately makes him more Muay Thai fighter than mixed martail artist, what Markku Huntti will be surely trying to take advantage of. Huntti has some nice MT skills, but he is surely no matchup for his tonight’s opponent. I’m afraid, that Huntti shouldn’t even think about fighting this one standing. Gaghner can be one dimensional fighter, but he absolutely knows his discipline perfectly. So Markku must look for opportunity to take this fight to the ground- he has some wrestling skills, he can try to ground and pound his opponent, and to be absolutely honest- Rob Gaghner should be no danger on the ground for absolutely anybody. If he won’t land any mighty head kick- this fight should be Huntti’s, who has shown in past how great talent he is with his amazing 5-0 prfessional MMA record.

My Prediction: Markku Hunti by Unanimous Decision

------------------

Main Card

Lightweight Bout

Fred Martial Delicat v Julius Benson

In next fight during this beautiful night, we will be watching 22 years old Gabonian from Makokou- Fred Martial Delicat, who fill face MMA professional debutant- 21 years old wrestler from Denver, United States- Julius ‘Grand Slam’ Benson. Delicat will be surely looking for submitting his opponent, while as our informants says- Julius Benson can be debutant be he seems to be not only top wrestler, but also very gifted stand up fighter with great striking skills. Gabonian is very dangerous opponent for him to start- Fred Martial is great Brazilian jiu-jitsu specialist, and it seems to be the only aspect, that Benson didn’t improve to satisfying level. But it’s pretty sure that he has learned how to defend himself- in other case, it wouldn’t be too wise to contract his debut fight against someone like Delicat. But in all other aspects it seems that debutant should be dominating. And maybe even he will be enough confident to try landing on top and punish his surprised opponent with vicious ground and pound? We must wait and see, what ‘Grand Slam’ really has to show to us.

My Prediction:

------------------

Undercard

Light Heavyweight Bout

Justice Naruhodo v Gunter Prince Hercules

In next fight, in Light Heavyweight division, we will see 23 years old brawle from Tokyo, Japan- Justice Naruhodo, who will face not much experienced in cage yet, 22 years old ‘Gunni’ Gunter Prince Hercules from Omnicron Persei Eight, Swaziland. We should start from saying, that ‘Gunni’ has huge reach advantage- he is taller than his opponent by 33cm! But looking on weight- they look similar. This says that Hercules will be surely trying to keep his opponent on sensible distance. Naruhodo is nice boxer, but he surely shouldn’t look to check is he better than his tonight’s opponent, when standing. Japan fighter has advantage on the ground, and he will be surely trying to overwhelm his opponent with visious ground and pound. Hercules is very good wrestler, but I’m afraid that he won’t be worthy matchup in ground game for his opponent tonight. Anyway, it’s hard to say who will win this fight, but I think that controlling ground fight by Justice Naruhodo would be key aspect of this fight.

My Prediction: Justice Naruhodo by TKO (Strikes)

------------------

Undercard

Middleweight Bout

Imma Bag v Aziz Shavershian

In next fight, we will see two fighters, who should appear on at least Main Cards for longer in very short time. 23 years old Turkish fighter from Istanbul- Imma ‘Douche’ Bag, and 22 years old Australian from Sydney- Aziz ‘Zyzz’ Shavershian. They both are well-rounded fighters, but Shavershian seems to be better nearly in everything. But it absoulutely doesn’t mean that Bag is weak fighter- we know that he is greatly gifted in every aspect, but ‘Zyzz’ seems to be one step ahead.

My Prediction: Aziz Shavershian by TKO (Strikes)

------------------

Undercard

Welterweight Bout

Mark Stanton v Chris Griffin

In another fight will participate: 23 years old fighter from Cambridge, England- Mark ‘Stungun’ Stanton, and 21 years old American from Quahog, Rhode Island- Chris ‘King Dong’ Griffin. While they both are great stand up fighters, they lack a little of ground fighting skills. Griffin seems to be able to dominate on the ground, but I’m afraid that ‘only’ what he can do over there is ground and pound. And if striking confrontation can give every result- ground game should be definitely on Griffin’s side.

My Prediction: Chris Griffin by TKO (Strikes)

------------------

Undercard

Lightweight Bout

Tero Karhula v Dae Su Oh

In Lightweight division, we will watch encounter of 28 years old Finn from Kotka- Tero Karhula, and great South Korean talent- 20 years old Dae Su ‘Old Boy’ Oh. They are both wrestlers with little stand up skills, but I think that who will land on top, will win this fight. And I think it will be Dae Su Oh on way to his 5th professional MMA win without any lost.

My Prediction: Dae Su Oh by TKO (Strikes)

------------------

Undercard

Middleweight Bout

Joey Karate v Ryan McLachlan

In this fight, we will see 21 years old brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt from Los Angeles, United States- Joey Karate, who will face 23 years old Canadian from Halifax- Ryan Mc Lachlan, who is making his early steps in professional cage. Main and maybe only lethal weapon of Joey Karate are surely his outstanding Brazilian jiu-jitsu skills, but tonight he will have to face very tough opponent, while brown belt Canadian can be someone resistible to his submission attempts. And Ryan McLachlan will be absolutely dominating in stand up fight. I think that Canadian has enough skills to beat his opponent- he must only remember to don’t be too scared and in effect too passive on the ground.

My Prediction: Ryan McLachlan by TKO (Strikes)

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Brought to you by FinnFighter Nutrition (Five 160Q supps!)

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Hahahahahahaha.

 

 

http://minfil.org/jdJ3eab8b5/ladyboy.png

English hard language, me no understand everything, comprende esse?

 

To be honest I thought that ladyboy is a synonym to playboy or so. But I am glad that my little mistake made you laugh.

 

BREAKING NEWS

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@MaxEisenhardt

"Hey folks, after my next fight against @NikolaiDzhumagaliev, I am going to leave the org for a super fight in @SFL against great fighter, brazilian jiu jitsu black belt - @KyleStanley. @VladimirByhenkikov was so kind to agreed to let me go for one fight, for the glory of @UmbrellaCorporation!"

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Krad speaks well for a stroke victim with a cock wedged in his jawbone.

 

Yes its true. CBK is at war. And it apprears maxie pad will be the first victim. After tedious negotiations and many racial slurs weve come to an uneasy agreement. The fight will take place in ST Pete, Russia , Earth. We all know SFLs management will put fairness above all else...except profit of course.

 

Oh yes, I almost forgot. The world famous KRAD will be in attendence and we are proud to announce that she will be our special guest ring girl!! We will put years of debate regarding her sexual orientation and perhaps even gender to rest. We have a special place in our hearts for hairless Australian transsexuals in Russia.

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Lady's man - K-Rad

 

Lady boy - Bragi.

Lady/man (pick correct) - K-Rad sounds true! If you behave nicely we'll invite you to our dress party. You can dress like a quenn, I am taking Pocahontas cosplay.

I may won't look as fabulaus as this chick, but damn (she looks fucking great, I have to put that image)

http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/apEOjAp_700b.jpg

 

Krad speaks well for a stroke victim with a cock wedged in his jawbone.

 

Yes its true. CBK is at war. And it apprears maxie pad will be the first victim. After tedious negotiations and many racial slurs weve come to an uneasy agreement. The fight will take place in ST Pete, Russia , Earth. We all know SFLs management will put fairness above all else...except profit of course.

 

Oh yes, I almost forgot. The world famous KRAD will be in attendence and we are proud to announce that she will be our special guest ring girl!! We will put years of debate regarding her sexual orientation and perhaps even gender to rest. We have a special place in our hearts for hairless Australian transsexuals in Russia.

 

 

Comrade Putin has a severe case of self hate? Is that what your implying?

Damn ASK mate you should write more posts. Your posts always make me laugh :D

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Takeshi Naoki recently released the following statement:

 

I'm back bitches. I took a small break and now I'm back to dominate.

 

For my first match I was told I would be facing the champ next, but honestly who the fuck cares? I’m better than all these guys, last time I was here I beat the champion easily and now I’m back and it seems like the level of talent has gone down, it’s just shit.

 

First of all we got Max “Mediocre as fuck” Eisenhardt who called me out a shitload of times when I was here last time, now he’s going to some org to fight some other bum in what he calls a “superfight”. Give me a break, all that fight is going to be is superboring, he will probably win that match and come back to get the ass whooping of the century.

 

I don’t expect much from Georges or Izturis either, yeah sure they will probably try to hump my leg once or twice but eventually it’s going to end with me head kicking their undeserving face.

 

The next time you hear from me, will be when I'm the new Middleweight champion.

 

 

 

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Max Eisenhardt's fan page:


http://rantsofasassystew.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Breaking_News.jpg

Hell, have you seen the news? That can Takeshit Naoki or something is back!

Let's analyse his first words:

"I'm back bitches. I took a small break and now I'm back to dominate."

He is back! Also, I have a few nice pics. Let's call it before and after!

Before:

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/13775023355918.png

After:

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/25/25w3.jpg

It seems our "Ugly as fuck Fukushimas Experiment" had a surgery! Finally woman do not vomit after seeing his face. But under that plastic skin, that's still that shit head Naoki, Mr. Nobody, one of Sauron's Nazgul, raised by two-headed wolfs in Fukushima, still-ugly-duckling Takeshit.

It seems that doctors wasn't able to add some hairs on ya bald head. That beard looks interesting, did they transplanted or glued your public hairs to your face?

Dear Facebook, lets have an action. Let's all shave our public hairs and send it to Takeshit, he'll make a wonderful wig for himself to cover that fucking bald head! I am bald too, but it's my choice!

UPDATE!!!!!

There is also after 2:

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/13935133055364.png

Take a look at this retarded look. It seems that his mom had a "slippery blanket" and little Takeshit fallen from his mothers arms countless times! I would say he looks like Hodor from Games of Thrones. Shy, dumb, retard - TAKEEEESHIT NAOKI!

Anyway, thank you for all your public hairs. Now Takeshit has wonderful hairs, all black, no homo. He was really shy when he first saw your hairs, but he was able to glue them all and put it on his bald ugly head.

Max Eisenhardt's Foundation make happened wishes from retarded fighters and victims of fate.

Edited by zatochi725
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http://u.kahvipaketti.com/u/40266750520.png

 

 

I don't know if the so called Max Eiseinhardt foundation is a group of homosexuals or if they're a plastic surgeon union, but they seem awfully interested in my appearance.

 

All mister Eisenhardt needs to know that when it's time for me to fight him, he will suffer a devastating loss.

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(...)

All mister Eisenhardt needs to know that when it's time for me to fight him, he will suffer a devastating loss.

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/6/6w1.jpg

Max Eisenhardt:

"He is reaaaally puerile. My Foundation sent you gathered public hairs to allow you to create a wig, your manager paid for your surgeries. I am saying shits about your look, cause your skills and career are so little that there is nothing to talk about.

Plus, I am glad that you know how to talk to me. "Mister Eisenhardt" you're learning Naoki."

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