Mannetosen Posted November 9, 2022 Report Share Posted November 9, 2022 18 minutes ago, KingofConsent said: You're wife will be 'tosen' my salad after this tournament. My wife doesn't go for people who use apostrophes incorrectly. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillooo Posted November 9, 2022 Report Share Posted November 9, 2022 37 minutes ago, Mannetosen said: My wife doesn't go for people who use apostrophes incorrectly. Spoiler: she doesn't exist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwad12345 Posted November 9, 2022 Report Share Posted November 9, 2022 7 hours ago, Mannetosen said: Tosen's Home for Lost Boys in Rio de Janeiro is considered one of the greatest gyms in MMA history. It's also considered an important hub for the South American drug and human trafficking trade. Despite joint efforts by INTERPOL and several national police organizations, though, it has somehow never been closed down. This is largely due to its owner, Mañuel Tosen. This bizarrely named Norwegian is a long-time core member of the infamous Convicted Inc crime syndicate, and has risen up as its leader in recent years. Tosen's ascension to the top of the crime world has left a trail of dead politicians, missing mob leaders and crying Thai men in its wake. As I'm escorted through the dimly lit gym area, walking past rows of sweating, grunting, interchangable goons hitting heavy bags, I remind myself that I'm not here to discuss Tosen's connections to organized crime. Instead, I've been sent all the way to Rio to cover a goddamn rookie MMA tournament. Being a junior journalist sucks sometimes. After being lead through a large metal door that'd look more at home in a Soviet bomb shelter than an MMA gym, I find myself face to face with Tosen. He is a large, blond man of indeterminable age. Despite having managed top level MMA fighters for well over 60 years, he still appears to be in his 30s. This has spawned rumors about everything from stem cells to PED abuse to Satanic blood orgies. Regardless, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to ask him about the LOM tournament. "So, mr. Tosen, I--" "Please, call me Manny. Everyone does." "Okay, well. Mr. To-- I mean Manny, thanks for having me." Tosen absent-mindedly waves his hand in the air, as if to tell me to get the pleasantries over with. "Ahem, anyways. You always seem to find yourself in creation tournaments lately, don't you? This one you didn't even sign up for, haha." Tosen glares at me. "Is this a fluff piece or something?" "No, sir, I'm just trying to--" "You're gonna ask me to talk to you about my childhood, is that it? Tell you how walking in the woods gave me my life back? Pose in front of a blow-up airplane with the text 'Ready for Take-off' grafted onto it, is that it?" "I'm just trying to ask you about LOM, sir." "Oh yeah. That. Alfred had some guy flake out at the last minute and asked me to fill in alongside my boy Chris. Fortunately, the extended Cheese family were visiting Charles Eric, so I pretty much had my pick of the litter." "So you're saying that you're just throwing some untrained schlub into the wood chipper? That hardly seems ethical." "Listen, dipshit. One month of training with me is worth more than a lifetime of training with those sacks of shit on Team Gwad." "Hold on, Manny. Gwad is a very acco--" "He's literally a monkey with a typewriter. He only managed to produce a top fighter due to the sheer power of persistence. Throw enough shit at the wall and all that." "Doesn't he have a winning record against you?" "What did you say?" "Uh, nothing sir." "That's what I thought. And one more thing: There's been some young upstart chatting all sorts of shit in the lead-up to LOM. King of Consent I think he's called. That's the name of a rapist if I've ever heard one." "Speaking of libel and slander, give us your thoughts about the allegations about Alfred Winterbottom being a literal, goose-stepping Nazi." "I'm thinking I've had enough of your lip. Mr. Schaubi, take him outside and drown him please." A large, grotesque creature lurches out of the shadows and towards me. He's holding a glass of something that smells like terpentine in one hand, and is furiously rubbing his legs and crotch with the other. He mumbles something incomprehensible to me, but I can only make out that he seems to be calling me 'b'. The beast grabs me by the arm and starts dragging me out of the gym. He's very strong. Desperately, I start flailing my limbs. One of my fingers gently graze his chin, and he crumples into an unconscious heap. Equal parts perplexed and filled with adrenaline, I disappear into the night. Lamestream media lackey. He didn't ask the real question on everyone's mind which is of course: Kill Alfred? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannetosen Posted November 9, 2022 Report Share Posted November 9, 2022 1 hour ago, Dillooo said: Spoiler: she doesn't exist If she didn't exist, KingOfConsent wouldn't either. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillooo Posted November 9, 2022 Report Share Posted November 9, 2022 16 minutes ago, Mannetosen said: If she didn't exist, KingOfConsent wouldn't either. He doesn't, he's a figment of my imagination. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannetosen Posted November 9, 2022 Report Share Posted November 9, 2022 Parmesan Cheese is here to defend his family's honor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingofConsent Posted November 9, 2022 Report Share Posted November 9, 2022 17 minutes ago, Mannetosen said: Parmesan Cheese is here to defend his family's honor. … this name makes it hard to hate you 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwad12345 Posted November 9, 2022 Report Share Posted November 9, 2022 56 minutes ago, Mannetosen said: Parmesan Cheese is here to defend his family's honor. Wow an Italian cheese? Reeks of fascism my friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daudy Posted November 9, 2022 Report Share Posted November 9, 2022 1 hour ago, gwad12345 said: Wow an Italian cheese? Reeks of fascism my friend. You know, it's thanks to Mussolini and his regime's building of lots of ammunition bunkers that the Italian cheese making industry is now better than ever. It basically meant there were lots of extra 'caves' for people to cave-ripen/age cheeses in. An old practice that dates back, but now with extra facilities! So the next time you tuck into a nice Italian pecorino, a soft taleggio, or a number of other ones, it's probably thanks to facism. Also he apparently hated French food and subsequently I'm going to guess the French in general. Surely we can all agree on the latter? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillooo Posted November 9, 2022 Report Share Posted November 9, 2022 17 minutes ago, Daudy said: Also he apparently hated French food and subsequently I'm going to guess the French in general. Surely we can all agree on the latter? Besides croissants, French food sucks dick. So yeah, agreed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flipper Posted November 9, 2022 Report Share Posted November 9, 2022 BREAKING NEWS: Suspicious Video Tape Emerges After Montreal Granite Quarry Explosion A few days ago, a giant explosion rocked the Montreal metro area resulting in earthquakes and a gigantic radioactive dust cloud that has hospitalized hundreds and kept thousands locked inside their homes. The explosion seemingly occurred at a granite quarry 2 hours away, and while authorities haven’t traced the origins of the blast, they did witness some shocking events shortly after. One SPVM officer gave a statement: “Oui, after le Explosion we see several horribles monstres climbing out of le Quarry. Zey were carrying a man in a -how you say- Hazmat Suit on a lawn chair. Ze lead monstre held a sign with ‘390k’ written on it.” Other sightings have reported that the group of grotesque humanoids are heading towards the Hard Knocks Arena in Suburban Montreal where local MMA syndicate Heartless Fighting Championship hosts horrifying events featuring fights capable of resulting in death. Strangely, one report suggested that the group’s faces were not “avatary enough.” While police investigations of the arena have been inconsequential, a mysterious package was left in our studio mailbox just this morning. Inside was a very dusty VHS tape, and we actually haven’t been able to play this until now because the station did not have a VCR at the time. Now, keep in mind the images in this recording could be seen as disturbing and viewer discretion is advised: The low quality footage crackles to life, showing the image of a man in a Hazmat suit with a blacked out face shield. His hands are clasped behind his back as he speaks. “Citizens of Montreal, I offer my condolences and my humble apologies for the tragic accident that has occurred at the Grayson Granite Quarry. I don’t expect many of you to understand the great work being achieved here, but know that your sacrifices will not be in vain. Ape PACE will bring about the demise of Team Gwad and victory in LOM 3 for The Quarry!” The video ends with the point of view suddenly dropping to floor level coupled with a loud crash as if the camera had hit the ground. You can hear the man in the Hazmat Suit shouting “No Donny! You’re supposed to turn the camera off when we’re finished!” before the feed cuts with a pop. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daudy Posted November 10, 2022 Report Share Posted November 10, 2022 If I ever needed construction materials, I'd definitely go to Rush's Quarry. The man never runs out of Granite. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwad12345 Posted November 10, 2022 Report Share Posted November 10, 2022 GWad condemns this heinous terror attack by pro-Alfred militia. People of Montreal, the World; have no fear. GWad, champion of the people, defender of humanity, is fighting for YOU. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daudy Posted November 10, 2022 Report Share Posted November 10, 2022 It's only Montreal. They're basically like the French! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FREEBIRD Posted November 10, 2022 Report Share Posted November 10, 2022 6 minutes ago, gwad12345 said: GWad condemns this heinous terror attack by pro-Alfred militia. People of Montreal, the World; have no fear. GWad, champion of the people, defender of humanity, is fighting for YOU. Democrat translation: I'll do nothing at all, what so ever, under any circumstances, but thanks for the vote 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwad12345 Posted November 10, 2022 Report Share Posted November 10, 2022 1 hour ago, FREEBIRD said: Democrat translation: I'll do nothing at all, what so ever, under any circumstances, but thanks for the vote Republican translation: [has furious gay sex in truck stop bathroom] lol cope bruh 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The1rstSaint Posted November 10, 2022 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2022 First off, It's official @Cobra7your on Team Alfred as a replacement at Heavyweight for Maurice. Fight pick Selections Also, The Fight Pick selection for week 1 will be done within 48 hours of the Fighter Lock In date, which is set for November 20th. (11 Days from today) Gwad will select 1 BW fight and 1 SHW fight Picks for round 2 will go to the winning Team. If Team Gwad gets the sweep, he will select the following weeks matchups. Tie Breaker There are two fights, if one team wins one and the other wins the other, it will go to the closest finish/Closest Decision If both are finishes, the fastest finish will win. Decision factor If both fights end in a Unanimous Decision we will go to the scorecards, the most dominant will prevail. If both are the exact same on the scorecards example... Team Alfred wins by UD 30-27 while Team Gwad wins by the same, then Gwad will retain fight selection for next week. If Team Alfred wins by UD 30-27 and Team Gwad win by UD 29-28 Team Alfred will win the Selections for the following week. Etc... If there are two splits, or two Majority Decision or even more pathetic to Draws ,Gwad will retain the fight selection Unanimous/Majority/Split/Draw/Majority Draw/Split Draw order of Decision Totem Pole. (I could be missing something if so, feel free to correct me. This process will continue through Week 6. Any questions please ask here or Via PM, your choice. So WIN and WIN BIG!!!! 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingofConsent Posted November 10, 2022 Report Share Posted November 10, 2022 I fucking knew Maurice would avoid fighting me, fucking bitch. cobra better step up. I’ll make it a short night for your bitch ass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannetosen Posted November 10, 2022 Report Share Posted November 10, 2022 3 hours ago, KingofConsent said: I fucking knew Maurice would avoid fighting me, fucking bitch. cobra better step up. I’ll make it a short night for your bitch ass You seem very fixated on other men and their 'bitch asses'. Fortunately, the MMATycoon dot com forums are a judgement free zone. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobra7 Posted November 10, 2022 Report Share Posted November 10, 2022 15 hours ago, KingofConsent said: I fucking knew Maurice would avoid fighting me, fucking bitch. cobra better step up. I’ll make it a short night for your bitch ass Well time to call in the reserve troops haha, pun being my fighters name is Android reserves. Anywho, I'm a fairly regular creation date tournament participant, best I think is finals or semi finals so just depends on if I remember to fiddle with sliders 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skenoj Posted November 10, 2022 Report Share Posted November 10, 2022 Hamzah Barnaby Yooo, I heard the news 👀 y'all can call me the midget destroyer, part of midget family but not the same midget you will expect to come out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingofConsent Posted November 10, 2022 Report Share Posted November 10, 2022 10 minutes ago, Skenoj said: Hamzah Barnaby Yooo, I heard the news 👀 y'all can call me the midget destroyer, part of midget family but not the same midget you will expect to come out. I’m upset this guys nickname isn’t “the midget destroyer” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingofConsent Posted November 10, 2022 Report Share Posted November 10, 2022 29 minutes ago, Cobra7 said: Well time to call in the reserve troops haha, pun being my fighters name is Android reserves. Anywho, I'm a fairly regular creation date tournament participant, best I think is finals or semi finals so just depends on if I remember to fiddle with sliders … you arnt meant to be nice in reply… how am I meant to be a dick and hate you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
actionjackson Posted November 12, 2022 Report Share Posted November 12, 2022 Come on @FutureGoat no ducking bro. We're all having fun here yeah? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The1rstSaint Posted November 13, 2022 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2022 I would like to thank @Skenojfor his 1 million $ donation to the prize fund. I will add another 3 million. This means 2 million for each winner as well as a Custom Trophy for each. Further donations are very welcome 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.