Christmas Day Massacre

[Alfred]

Christmas Day Massacre - Day 9

And so we come to the last few rounds of this bloody Christmas affair and still things look fairly close for a top three spot. However, without truly knowing how this mystical Swizz league format works, figuring out who can finish where is a little tricky. 

The Brazilian Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu brown belt Bernardo Cabral regains the top spot after his rival and fellow Brazilian Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu brown belt Santino Oliviera shit the bed against top lad Paul Nichols who has clearly been listening to his mentor Alfred Winterbottom's motivational voice mails each day. Cabral defeated Tarquin Doomwood who was looking like a decent outside bet at one point despite being guided by the "Shame of Swansea" Bob Slay. 

The smug bastid Anwar Hussin climbs up into the second place spot after getting the submission win over lizard skin Jokubas Antukis though the victory cost him dearly as he will now face his biggest challenge sporting a nagging injury. Jokubas drops down to 5th place with a record of 5-4 and if it's still possible to take the whole tournament, I doubt that would mean being able to lose anymore fights. 

Mr. Torso did well to overcome his life threatening injuries and pick up a boring unanimous decision victory over Mauricio Nunes and ends round 9 in 6th place with a 5-4 record. Nunes is currently in a dog fight to avoid the dreaded and shameful bottom place. 

Gordon Hunter picked up his third submission victory of the tournament with a victory over Freaky Fister. More importantly, the victory keeps Hunter within touching distance of the big prize. The Fister however is fighting hard not to be fisted down into finishing last. 

Mateusz Kieliszkowski makes a late surge up the table after a disastrous period of loses. Kieliszkowski looked solid early on and now looks as though he is back to that form. The only question is whether he has left it too late to claim the top spot. 

Final mention goes to River Waters and Stanley Reynolds who both, with records of 2-7, battle hard to avoid a last place finish

 

[Alfred]

[#1] Mr Torso (Tycoon Judas) = 10 Inj / 4 Cut (Total = 51 Inj / 32 Cut) ▲ 1
[#2] Jersey Turnpike (Rush Greyson) = 4 Inj (Total = 76 Inj) ▼ 1
[#3] Sean Faolin (Jimmy Normal) = 8 Inj (Total = 69 Inj / 2 Cut)
[#4] Freaky Fister (Freaky Phantom) = 3 Inj (Total = 41 Inj)
[#5] Anwar Hussin (Crazy Horse) = 7 Inj / 3 Cut (Total = 26 Inj / 11 Cut) ▲ 3
[#6] Daroshev Faroshev (Johnny The Gunt) = 2 Inj (Total = 32 Inj / 3 Cut) ▼ 1
[#7] River Waters (Thomas Edwards) = 4 Inj (Total = 34 Inj)
[#8] Mauricio Nunes (Rodrigo Ferreira) = FRESH (Total = 24 Inj / 7 Cut) ▼ 2
[#9] Paul Nichols (Alfred Winterbottom) = 2 Inj (Total = 27 Inj) ▲ 1
[#10] Tarquin Doomwood (Bob Slay) = FRESH (Total = 21 Inj / 5 Cut) ▼ 1
[#11] Mateusz Kieliszkowski (McChicken Sandwich) = FRESH (Total = 24 Inj / 1 Cut)
[#12] Santino Oliveira (Todd Westacott) = 3 Inj (Total = 9 Inj / 11 Cut)
[#13] Stanley Reynolds (Scottie 2 Hottie) = FRESH (Total = 17 Inj)
[#15] Bernardo Cabral (John Pezao) = 2 Inj (Total = 14 Inj / 2 Cut) ▲ 1
[#14] Gordon Hunter (Rei) = FRESH (Total = 9 Inj / 5 Cut) ▼ 1
[#16] Jokubas Antukis (Jersey Inc.) = 2 Inj (Total = 4 Inj)

[Alfred]

AFTER ROUND 9

[Daudy]

Even Hussin's pillow fists managed to injure the ironman! Maybe everyone else is just even more weak and puny?

 

Also of course mr tournament organiser books his guy against Hussin the one time he'll carry an injury into the fight. More rigged than any election I've ever seen. Too bad Hussin will lightly shower your forehead with gnp until you quit.

[Alfred]

Christmas Day Massacre - Day 10

The Christmas Spirit is near frenzy level as we head into the final three events. 

Although still a fairly close ran competition, Bernardo Cabral now currently sits in top place ahead of everyone else. His quick victory over struggling Stanley Reynolds further helps his cause as he comes out fresh as a daisy for his next fight. 

Paul Nichols continues to listen to the wise words of his manager Alfred Winterbottom and as a result earns his sixth victory in a row and moves up into second place just two points behind first. He destroyed fellow championship challenger Anwar Hussin in completely fair and even circumstances proving that Winterbottom is by far the greater tactician than Caballo Loco. Hussin moves down into third but still remains in contention for first place. 

Gordon Hunter got the win over Sean Faolin to move up a couple of places into fourth. He is joint on points with a handful of other fighters but by merit of having won the most tiebreakers he is ahead. Faolin stays in 11th place with a record of 4-5. 

Mateusz Kieliszkowski picked up a big win over contender Santino Oliviera who now drops down into 5th place. Kieliszkowsi moves up to 7th and joins a handful of fighters with an outside chance of taking it all. 

Jokubas Antukis also made sure his must win fight against Jersey Turnpike went to plan with a KO victory in just 51 seconds. Though he drops a place in the table down to 6th he at least keeps pace with the long shots. Turnpike, who has struggled terribly with injuries during the tournament now faces a battle not to finish last. 

[Alfred]

[#1] Mr Torso (Tycoon Judas) = 8 Inj / 6 Cut (Total = 59 Inj / 38 Cut)
[#2] Jersey Turnpike (Rush Greyson) = 2 Inj (Total = 78 Inj)
[#3] Sean Faolin (Jimmy Normal) = 6 Inj (Total = 75 Inj / 2 Cut)
[#4] Anwar Hussin (Crazy Horse) = 5 Inj / 5 Cut (Total = 31 Inj / 16 Cut) ▲ 1
[#5] Freaky Fister (Freaky Phantom) = 4 Inj (Total = 45 Inj) ▼ 1
[#6] Mauricio Nunes (Rodrigo Ferreira) = 6 Inj / 3 Cut (Total = 30 Inj / 10 Cut) ▲ 2
[#7] Santino Oliveira (Todd Westacott) = 2 Inj / 16 Cut (Total = 11 Inj / 27 Cut) ▲ 5
[#8] Daroshev Faroshev (Johnny The Gunt) = 2 Inj (Total = 34 Inj / 3 Cut) -2
[#9] River Waters (Thomas Edwards) = 2 Inj (Total = 36 Inj) ▼ 2
[#10] Paul Nichols (Alfred Winterbottom) = 2 Inj (Total = 29 Inj) ▼ 1
[#11] Mateusz Kieliszkowski (McChicken Sandwich) = 4 Inj (Total = 28 Inj / 1 Cut)
[#12] Tarquin Doomwood (Bob Slay) = 2 Inj (Total = 23 Inj / 5 Cut) ▼ 2
[#13] Stanley Reynolds (Scottie 2 Hottie) = FRESH (Total = 17 Inj)
[#14] Bernardo Cabral (John Pezao) = FRESH (Total = 14 Inj / 2 Cut)
[#15] Gordon Hunter (Rei) = FRESH (Total = 9 Inj / 5 Cut)
[#16] Jokubas Antukis (Jersey Inc.) = FRESH (Total = 4 Inj)

[Alfred]

AFTER ROUND 10

[EEPUS]

Faroshev will get #1 Alhamdulilah

[Alfred]

Christmas Day Massacre - Day 11

This tournament really is going to go down to the wire!

We have just two more rounds to go and we currently have three fighters with records of 8-3 and four fighters on 7-4. We have to assume that the overall winner will be amongst this group. 

Outside of that however we have another two fighters with records of 6-5 who could easily end up stealing a prize giving spot at third with some favourable results elsewhere. 

The biggest upset of the round was definitely Daroshev Faroshev putting the christmas stuffing up league leader Bernardo Cabral. Cabral has won his last three in a row and has been subbing people for fun but ol' Faroshev was having none of it. Though Cabral remains at the top of the table, the loss certainly opened up the tournament somewhat and even Faroshev will have given his chances of a top three finish a major holly jolly boosting. 

A fairly big fight between Paul Nichols and Mateusz Kieliszkowski ended with the Polish fighting having a candy cane stuffed up his keister. Ol' Saint Nichols continues to carry the Christmas torch for his manager and remains battling it out at the top of the tree. For Kieliszkowski, a win here would have kept him in range of the big prize but with the loss he drops down to #8 with a 6-5 record. A top three spot could still be within reach. 

Anwar Hussin just refuses to quit and instantly bounces back from his last performance with a much needed victory over bottom place straggler Stanley Reynolds. Obviously chugging that special vitamin S enriched eggnog, Hussin remains in third place and still among those most likely to take it all. 

Santino Oliveira was also victorious in a must win bout and keeps his tournament hopes alive. He defeated Sean Faolin who continues to battle both alcoholism and a bottom of the table battle. Oliveira moves up one spot to #4 with a record of 7-4

Gordon Hunter made sure to keep on punching down as he heaped even more misery on bottom dweller River Waters and cling on to his own tournament winning aspirations. With a record of 7-4, Hunter is among those still with a chance of winning it all. 

Jokubas Antukis made short work of Mauricio Nunes and pushes him down towards the very real possibility of a last place finish. For Antukis, he remains in #6 spot and with an a chance at taking it all. 

The last fighter with a chance at Christmas glory is Tarquin Doomwood who clinch raped the hell out of his opponent Freaky Fister. Doomwood climbs up a spot to #7 with a record of 7-4. 

[Alfred]

[#1] Mr Torso (Tycoon Judas) = 6 Inj / 9 Cut (Total = 65 Inj / 47 Cut)
[#2] Jersey Turnpike (Rush Greyson) = 3 Inj (Total = 81 Inj)
[#3] Sean Faolin (Jimmy Normal) = 4 Inj (Total = 79 Inj / 2 Cut)
[#4] Anwar Hussin (Crazy Horse) = 3 Inj / 2 Cut (Total = 34 Inj / 18 Cut)
[#5] Freaky Fister (Freaky Phantom) = 2 Inj (Total = 47 Inj)
[#6] Mauricio Nunes (Rodrigo Ferreira) = 4 Inj / 3 Cut (Total = 34 Inj / 13 Cut)
[#7] Santino Oliveira (Todd Westacott) = 7 Cut (Total = 11 Inj / 34 Cut)
[#8] Daroshev Faroshev (Johnny The Gunt) = 3 Inj (Total = 37 Inj / 3 Cut)
[#9] River Waters (Thomas Edwards) = FRESH (Total = 36 Inj)
[#10] Paul Nichols (Alfred Winterbottom) = 2 Inj (Total = 31 Inj)
[#11] Mateusz Kieliszkowski (McChicken Sandwich) = 2 Inj (Total = 30 Inj / 1 Cut)
[#12] Tarquin Doomwood (Bob Slay) = 3 Inj (Total = 26 Inj / 5 Cut)
[#13] Bernardo Cabral (John Pezao) = 8 Inj / 5 Cut (Total = 22 Inj / 7 Cut) ▲ 1
[#14] Stanley Reynolds (Scottie 2 Hottie) = 2 Inj (Total = 19 Inj) ▼ 1
[#15] Gordon Hunter (Rei) = FRESH (Total = 9 Inj / 5 Cut)
[#16] Jokubas Antukis (Jersey Inc.) = FRESH (Total = 4 Inj)

[Alfred]

AFTER ROUND 11

[EEPUS]

Nice win by Faroshev but it seems like he's still not gonna make it. sucks.m

[Rei]

Bet the house on good ol' Gordon lads

[Jersey]

Jokubis is still here for blood, not money.  

[Bob Slay]

Just two more fights & the nerves were getting to me, so my Manager rewarded me for my magnificent Knockout Win over Freaky Fister & having some energy left after the fight.

A much-needed bit of sunshine with some lovely ladies for company, no I could not entertain them, much as I would have liked to, since I needed to save my energy but they both left me their numbers and told me to ring them up for a good time after the tournament ends.

So I win even if I lose right? Not really, I want to win this thing, try to repair the reputation of my manager who has looked after me as best he could throughout this crazy, brutal & downright draining tournament, and win that fat bag of cash. Now where the hell did I leave my can of Monster?

[Carciofi]

This is the least amount of fun I’ve had since Albert’s last tournament. 

[Bob Slay]

9 hours ago, Carciofi said:

This is the least amount of fun I’ve had since Albert’s last tournament. 

 

Sean Faolin is not scraping the bottom of the barrel just yet, kudos to everyone for not rage-quitting so far.

[Rei]

Well I definitely didn't have Waters tapping out Cabral on my bingo card. Also the visual of Mr. Torso getting caught in an arm triangle is very very funny.

[Jersey]

1 hour ago, Rei said:

Well I definitely didn't have Waters tapping out Cabral on my bingo card. Also the visual of Mr. Torso getting caught in an arm triangle is very very funny.

The strangest fight in the tournament that I saw still goes to Torso vs Nunes.  I don't think I've ever seen anything like that.  Almost 250 combined strikes thrown and all that landed was 1 leg kick.

(EDIT: On a guy with no legs!)

(EDIT #2: And the guy that didn't land a single strike or TD won the decision.)

[Rei]

13 minutes ago, Jersey said:

The strangest fight in the tournament that I saw still goes to Torso vs Nunes.  I don't think I've ever seen anything like that.  Almost 250 combined strikes thrown and all that landed was 1 leg kick.

(EDIT: On a guy with no legs!)

(EDIT #2: And the guy that didn't land a single strike or TD won the decision.)

what the actual fuck lmao 

[Alfred]

2 hours ago, Jersey said:

The strangest fight in the tournament that I saw still goes to Torso vs Nunes.  I don't think I've ever seen anything like that.  Almost 250 combined strikes thrown and all that landed was 1 leg kick.

(EDIT: On a guy with no legs!)

(EDIT #2: And the guy that didn't land a single strike or TD won the decision.)

lol. I didn't catch that before. It must have had something to do with injuries?

[Alfred]

17 hours ago, Carciofi said:

This is the least amount of fun I’ve had since Albert’s last tournament. 

That bastard Albert puts on some real shit tournaments haha

[Alfred]

Christmas Day Massacre - Day 12

We are now just one round away from crowning the winner of this tournament most brutal and there is still no real clear winner in front of us. 

You would think that it's simply a case of holding on to what you have and that those in first, second and third need only to win their next match ups to secure their spots but honestly, I don't think this format works like that. 

Firstly you have TB which stands for "Number of matches against tied opponents". This would have made straight forward sense except for the fact that I've seen it change over the last couple weeks. I think that could have something to do with Buchholz which is described as "The Median-Buccholz system is used to break ties in Swiss tournaments. The value displayed in the standings table is the sum of a players opponents' scores, with the best and worst scores discarded"

Now that all sounds like nerd shiz to me and who has time for that kind of thing this close to Christmas? Not I for one but it does bare keeping in mind as we go into this final round of the Christmas Day Massacre!

Anyway, round 12 brought us at least one big surprise and that was bottom battler River Waters subbing table leader Bernardo Cabral. Cabral was sporting an injury which may have contributed to the result but everyone has been in the same boat with that so fair is fair. Cabral now drops down into third place and will unfortunately go into his final bout with another injury showcasing just how quickly things can go bad in these kinda of competitions. River Waters now two points clear of the bottom and should have a little boost of confidence going into his last fight. 

Taking the top spot now was Winterbottom's little Christmas helper Paul Nichols. He defeated struggling Stanley Reynolds who now sits alone at the bottom of the table. Things look extra bleak for Reynolds now too as he faces his final bout nursing an injury. 

An important fight between Gordon Hunter and Tarquin Doomwood ended with the submission fighter Hunter getting the easy win over the striker Doomwood. Both fighters were chasing a top three spot but after this result it is only Hunter that is still within reach of that. Doomwood however has been a dangerous opponent throughout the tournament and he will now get to face league leader Paul Nichols and potentially end his run with a top scalp. Hopefully his manager Bob Slay sees sense however and gets his boy to play ball. No one likes a party pooper Bob. 

For Gordon Hunter, he remains in fifth place and goes into his final bout fresh as a daisy against injured last place Stanley Reynolds. Clearly the heavy favourite, Hunter could be a good bet to pick up a finishing place though he might need to rely on some results elsewhere going his way. 

Anwar Hussin continues to put the pressure on the everyone as picks up another God awful decision victory to remain in second place and on joint points with top. He defeated poor Sean Faolin who is now on his fourth loss in a row and causing his manager Jimmy Normal mild unhappiness. This of course is music to my ears. Funny how that works. 

Hussin gets a lay up next against 4-8 Jersey Turnpike which is completely unfair. 

Santino Oliveira was successful in his bout against Mauricio Nunes with another submission victory late in the first round enough for him to keep his fourth place spot. He next faces a tough match up against 7-5 Daroshev Faroshev with both fighters sporting either a cut or an injury. 

Finally, the last fighter that could potentially grab a top three spot is Jokubas Antukis. He made short work of Freaky Fister with a twenty-nine second TKO win and remains in sixth place. No one has come close to Antukis level of health and wellbeing in this tournament and unsurprisingly, Antukis will go into his final fight feeling fit and fresh. He'll face Sean Faolin who doesn't have much to fight for except pride and we all know that he doesn't have any of that so probably an easy win for Jokubas. 

That's all for now I think. I will see you in two days for the conclusion of this competition!

[Alfred]

[#1] Mr Torso (Tycoon Judas) = 4 Inj / 10 Cut (Total = 69 Inj / 57 Cut)
[#2] Jersey Turnpike (Rush Greyson) = 3 Inj (Total = 84 Inj)
[#3] Sean Faolin (Jimmy Normal) = 2 Inj (Total = 81 Inj / 2 Cut)
[#4] Anwar Hussin (Crazy Horse) = 2 Inj (Total = 36 Inj / 18 Cut)
[#5] Freaky Fister (Freaky Phantom) = 4 Inj / 2 Cut (Total = 51 Inj / 2 Cut)
[#6] Mauricio Nunes (Rodrigo Ferreira) = 2 Inj / 1 Cut (Total = 36 Inj / 14 Cut)
[#7] Santino Oliveira (Todd Westacott) = 5 Cut (Total = 11 Inj / 39 Cut)
[#8] Daroshev Faroshev (Johnny The Gunt) = 3 Inj (Total = 40 Inj / 3 Cut)
[#9] Bernardo Cabral (John Pezao) = 6 Inj / 2 Cut (Total = 28 Inj / 9 Cut) ▲ 4
[#10] River Waters (Thomas Edwards) = FRESH (Total = 36 Inj) ▼ 1
[#11] Paul Nichols (Alfred Winterbottom) = 2 Inj (Total = 33 Inj) ▼ 1
[#12] Tarquin Doomwood (Bob Slay) = 1 Inj (Total = 27 Inj / 5 Cut)
[#13] Mateusz Kieliszkowski (McChicken Sandwich) = FRESH (Total = 30 Inj / 1 Cut) ▼ 2
[#14] Stanley Reynolds (Scottie 2 Hottie) = 4 Inj / 2 Cut (Total = 23 Inj / 2 Cut)
[#15] Gordon Hunter (Rei) = FRESH (Total = 9 Inj / 5 Cut)
[#16] Jokubas Antukis (Jersey Inc.) = FRESH (Total = 4 Inj)

[Alfred]

END OF ROUND 12

ROUND 13 FIGHTS